Template:MEBF/2022

Marking and feedback template for the book chapter exercise for the motivation and emotion unit. Designed to be transcluded on a chapter talk page.

Simple example

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall

Overview

Theory – Breadth

Theory – Depth

Research – Key findings

Research – Critical thinking

Integration

Conclusion

Written expression – Style

Written expression – Learning features

Social contribution

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:47, 18 October 2022 (UTC)

Detailed example

Example use of the template which includes some commonly provided feedback comments:

<!-- Official book chapter feedback -->
{{MEBF/2022
|1=
<!-- Overall comments... -->
# Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a very good chapter. It makes very good use of psychological theory and research to help address a  real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter. It makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a real-world phenomenon or problem.
# Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter
# Overall, this is an insufficient chapter
# I suspect that the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment#Assessment items|recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours]] were not invested in preparing this chapter. 
# Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations
# Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section
# Well under the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Word_count|maximum word count]], so there is room to expand
# Well over the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Word_count|maximum word count]]. The content beyond 4000 words has been ignored for marking purposes.
# This chapter "[[wikt:beat around the bush|beats around the bush]]" for ~* words (i.e., too much preamble) before starting to directly tackle the target topic in the section titled "*"
# The sub-title has been corrected to match the [[Motivation and emotion/Book/2022|index of topics]]
# Addressing the [[#Topic development feedback|topic development feedback]] could have helped to improve this chapter
# Obtaining (earlier) comments on a chapter plan via the [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Topic|topic development]] exercise could have helped to improve the chapter
# For additional feedback, see the following comments and [ these copyedits]
|2=
<!-- Overview comments... -->
# Well developed/Solid/Reasonably good/Basic/Underdeveloped Overview
# Clearly/Briefly explains the problem or phenomenon
# Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail
# Too long. Move detailed content in subsequent sections. The purpose of the Overview is to briefly explain the topic, engage reader interest, and establish focus questions for the chapter.
# Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image
# Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest
# Clear/Basic focus question(s)
# The focus questions could be improved by being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title)
# Ideally, provide [[w:Open-ended question|open-ended]], rather than [[Closed-ended question|closed-ended]] focus questions
# Add focus questions in a feature box to help guide the reader and structure the chapter
|3=
<!-- Theory – Breadth comments... -->
# An excellent/very good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
# Relevant theory is reasonably well explained
# Basic but sufficient coverage of relevant theory
# Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory about this topic
# The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory
# Overly focused on definitions; summarise and move to the more [[wikt:substantive|substantive]] aspects of theory
# Builds reasonably well on related chapters
# Builds somewhat on previous, related chapters
# Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)
# Build more strongly on other *-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: [[:Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/*]])
# There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
|4=
<!-- Theory – Depth comments... -->
# Insightful/Very good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
# Effective/Some/Basic/No use of tables and/or lists are to help clearly convey key theoretical information
# Excellent/Some/Basic/Insufficient use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
# One good use of an example to illustrate theoretical concepts. Consider using more.
# Place more emphasis on explaining the underlying theoretical constructs than methods of measurement
# Key citations are well used
# Lack of sufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{fact}} tags)
# If you didn't consult an original source (e.g., ?), cite it as a [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/citations/secondary-sources secondary source]
# The Reeve (2018) textbook is overused as a citation – instead, utilise primary, peer-reviewed sources
|5=
<!-- Research – Key findings comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient review of relevant research
# More detail about key studies would be ideal
# Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful
# Lack of sufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the {{fact}} tags)
|6=
<!-- Research – Critical thinking comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident
# Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
## describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
## discussing the direction of relationships
## considering the strength of relationships
## acknowledging limitations
## pointing out critiques/counterarguments
## suggesting ''specific'' directions for future research
# Claims are referenced
# Some/Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the {{fact}} tags)
|7=
<!-- Integration comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient integration between theory and research
# The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research
# Where research is discussed, it is integrated with theory
|8=
<!-- Conclusion comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Reasonably good/Basic summary and conclusion
# Insufficient as a cohesive summary of the best available psychological theory and research about the topic
# Remind the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest
# Key points are well summarised
# Summarise key points
# Clear take-home message(s)
# Address the focus questions
# Add practical, take-home message(s)
|9=
<!-- Written expression – Style comments... -->
# Written expression
## Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent/very good/good/basic
## Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. [https://www.canberra.edu.au/current-students/study-skills UC Study Skills] assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills
## Some of the written expression is quite abstract, which makes this a difficult read for an unfamiliar reader. Consider ways of simplifying the written expression to make it more accessible to a wider audience. This is the essence of [[w:science communication|science communication]].
## Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/grammar/active-passive-voice][https://www.grammarly.com/blog/active-vs-passive-voice/]
## Internationalise: Write for an international, rather than domestic, audience. [http://www.worldometers.info/world-population/australia-population/ Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population].
## Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
## Some sentences are overly long (unnecessarily wordy). Strive for the simplest expression of the point being made. At the very least, consider splitting longer sentences into two shorter sentences.
## Some sentences could be explained more clearly (e.g., see the {{explain}} and {{rewrite}} tags)
## The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet points into full paragraph format
## Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
### it is, most often, not needed at all, or
### use [[w:Help#Section linking|section linking]]
## Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Convey one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences.
## Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[https://www.grammarly.com/blog/first-second-and-third-person/] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes
## Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
## Embed direct quotes within sentences and paragraphs, rather than presenting them holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words.
## "People" is often a better term than "individuals"
## Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they)
## Reduce use of [[w:weasel word|weasel word]]s which bulk out the text but don't enhance meaning
## Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten.
## Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. *) in science-based communication
# Layout
## The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections
## Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see {{expand}} tags)
## Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
## Use the default heading style (e.g., remove additional bold)
## See earlier comments about [[#Heading casing|heading casing]]
## Provide more descriptive headings
# Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent
# Grammar
## The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the {{grammar}} tags)
### Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.[https://www.google.com/search?q=grammar+checking+tools]
### Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
## Check and make [https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma/ correct use of commas]
## Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/punctuation/apostrophe-rules.html]
## Use [[w:Serial comma|serial comma]]s[https://www.buzzfeed.com/adamdavis/the-oxford-comma-is-extremely-important-and-everyone-should] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by [[wikt:grammaticist|grammaticist]]s. See [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBx8ooDupXY explanatory video] (1 min)
## Check and correct use of [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=grammar+that+vs+who that vs. who]
## Check and correct use of [https://www.google.com.au/search?q=affect+vs.+effect+grammar affect vs. effect]
## Check and correct use of [http://www.colonsemicolon.com/ semicolons (;) and colons (:)]
## Abbreviations
### Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., etc.)
### Only use abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc.) inside parentheses
### Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor terms that aren't used very much in the chapter.
### Explain abbreviations (spell out) (e.g., HPA) when they are first introduced
### Once an abbreviation is established (e.g., PTSD), use it consistently. Don't set up an abbreviation and then not use it or only use it sometimes.
# Spelling
## Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the {{spelling}} tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.
## Use [https://www.abc.net.au/education/learn-english/australian-vs-american-spelling/11244196 Australian spelling] (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour)
# Proofreading
## More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
## Remove unnecessary capitalisation
<!-- APA style -->
# APA style
## [https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/capitalization/diseases-disorders-therapies Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.]
## Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159)
## Write numbers under 10 using words (e.g., five). Express numbers 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 10).
## Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, write in your own words
## Replace double spaces with single spaces
<!-- Figures -->
## Figures
### Figures are very well captioned
### Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text
### Figure captions use the correct format
### Use this format for figure captions: ''Figure X''. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter/Figures|See example]]
### Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text
### Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
### Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation)
<!-- Tables -->
## Tables
### Table captions use APA style
### Use APA style for captions. [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter/Tables|See example]]
### Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style
### Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text
### Refer to each Table using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation)
### Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1)
<!-- Citations -->
## Citations use correct APA style
## Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
### If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
#### in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
#### in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
### Do not include author first name or initials
### Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses
### List multiple citations in alphabetical order by first author surname
### A full stop is needed after "et al" (i.e., "et al.") because it is an abbreviation of [[wikt:et alii|et alii]].
### Use a comma between the author(s) and year for citations in parentheses
### Select up to a maximum of three citations per point (i.e., avoid citing four or more citations to support a single point)
### Check and correct placement of full-stops
### Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
<!-- References -->
## References use correct APA style
## References are not in full APA style. For example:
### Check and correct use of capitalisation[https://apastyle.apa.org/style-grammar-guidelines/capitalization]
### Check and correct use of italicisation
### Separate page numbers using an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
### Include hyperlinked dois
### "Retrieved from" is no longer used (APA style, 7th ed.)
### Add spaces between author initials
### Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
|10=
<!-- Written expression – Learning features comments... -->
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/Insufficient use of learning features
# Excellent use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles
# Very good/Good/Basic/One use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See [[Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nutrition and anxiety|example]].
# No use of embedded in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]] to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See [[Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Nutrition and anxiety|example]].
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/One/No use of embedded in-text links to related [[Motivation and emotion/Book|book chapters]]. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
# Use in-text [[m:Help:Interwiki linking|interwiki links]], rather than external links, per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
# Move links to non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of image(s)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of table(s)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of feature box(es)
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of quiz(zes)
# The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of case studies or examples
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
## Use bullet points per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Rename links per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Also include links to related book chapters
## Also include links to related Wikipedia articles
## Use sentence casing
## Include sources in parentheses
## Move external links to the external link section
# Excellent/Very good/Good/Basic/No use of external links in the "External links" section
## Use bullet points per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Rename links per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
## Use sentence casing
## Include sources in parentheses
|11=
<!-- Social contribution comments... -->
# ~ logged, useful, minor/moderate/major social contributions with direct links to evidence
# Thanks very much for your extensive contributions
# ~ logged social contributions without [[Motivation and emotion/Assessment/Chapter#Making and summarising social contributions|direct links to evidence]], so unable to easily verify and assess
# Contributions made across three platforms
# Use a numbered list per [[Motivation and emotion/Tutorials/Wiki editing|Tutorial 02]]
# No logged social contributions
}}
~~~~

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