Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Comprehensive action determination model

Initial suggestions

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@HassanAlsamara: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:16, 11 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

 
  1. The title and/or sub-title were not correctly worded and/or formatted (fixed)
  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  2. Insufficient development of headings to unpack the topic
  3. Reasonably good alignment between focus questions and heading structure, but consider closer alignment
  4. Check and correct capitalisation
  5. Background info about motivation is not needed; instead, unpack the CADM and its application
  1. Add a scenario or case study in a feature box (with an image) at the start of this section to help catch reader interest
  2. Add a brief, evocative description of the problem/topic
  3. Reasonably good alignment between focus questions and heading structure, but consider closer alignment
  4. Tailor the focus questions away from general questions about motivation to more specific unpacking of the sub-title
  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. For sections which include sub-sections, include the key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  3. Avoid providing too much background information. Aim to briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  4. Use APA style for citations (e.g., alphabetical order)
  5. Use Australian spelling
  6. Strive for an integrated balance of the best psychological theory and research about this topic, with practical examples
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Underway
    2. What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?)
  1. One or more figure(s) is/are presented and captioned
  2. The relevance of one or more figures isn't clear
  3. The figure caption(s) could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text using APA style (e.g., see Figure 1)
  1. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters (see Tutorial 2)
  2. Consider use of one or more scenarios/examples/case studies
  3. Focus the quiz question(s) on the take-home messages for each focus question
  4. Also consider using one or more tables to summarise key information
  1. OK
  2. Messy
  3. Reeve is overused as a citation
  4. Are there any systematic reviews about this topic?
  5. Check and correct APA referencing style:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
    4. make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable)
    5. use dois where available instead of other links
  1. See also
    1. Very good
    2. Link to the most relevant Wikipedia page(s) - emotion is too general
    3. Use alphabetical order
  2. External links
    1. OK
    2. Move Wikipedia link to see also (much better than the emotion link)
    3. Other link is too general
    4. Only include links directly related to the sub-title
  1. Very good
  2. Excellent description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. A link to the book chapter is provided
  1. Good – two out of three types of contributions made with with direct link(s) to evidence. The other type of contribution is making:
    1. posts about the unit or project on other platforms such as the UCLearn discussion forum or on X using the #emot24

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:40, 26 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation
  1. The opening conveys the purpose of the presentation in a basic way
  2. Incorrect date on opening slide
  3. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest (e.g., through an example)
  4. A basic context for the presentation is established
  5. Consider asking focus questions to help focus and discipline the presentation
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little, but the balance could be improved (it is very theoretically dry)
  4. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes insufficient/no use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation makes basic use of citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes insufficient use of examples
  8. The presentation could be improved by providing practical advice
  1. Provide a conclusion which summarises the most relevant psychological theory and research about this topic, with take-home messages for each focus question
  1. The presentation makes very basic use of narrated audio
  2. Audio communication is reasonably well-paced
  3. Basic intonation
  4. The narration could benefit from further scripting and/or practice
  5. Audio recording quality was excellent
  6. The narrated content is reasonably well matched to the target topic
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides
  3. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  5. The amount of text presented on one or more slides could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time
  6. The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by relevant images and/or diagrams
  7. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  8. The visual content is reasonably well matched to the target topic
  1. The (almost) correct title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. This would help to convey the purpose of the presentation and be consistent.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Expand.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. Provide clickable links to the image sources and license details (e.g., in the description)
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is clearly indicated

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:40, 10 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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Hi HassanAlsamara. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:16, 12 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

Draft feedback

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@HassanAlsamara: From a very quick look at current draft:

  • Looks comprehensive (but this isn't based on reading, only a quick scan)
  • See comment above about heading capitalisation
  • Remove trailing colons from headings
  • Follow APA style for capitalisation
  • Use focused focus questions (e.g., avoid general questions such as why is understanding motivation important)
  • Use APA style for citations (e.g., alphabetical order for multiple citations)
  • Use Australian spelling (internalized -> internalised)
  • The draft is over the maximum word count (e.g., reduce the section "What is motivation?")
  • Use APA style for references
  • Use 3rd person perspective rather than first person perspective (e.g., remove "we")
  • Some paragraphs overly long (aim for 3 to 5 sentences)

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:16, 12 November 2024 (UTC)Reply


Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic chapter
  2. Very good use of academic, peer-reviewed citations to support claims
  3. In some places, citations are used which are not in the References
  4. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Well developed
  2. Somewhat engaging case study or scenario in a feature box with a relevant image
  3. Explains the psychological problem or phenomenon reasonably well
  4. The focus questions are clear and relevant
  1. A solid good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. Builds somewhat on other chapters and/or Wikipedia articles
  3. Reasonably good depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
  4. Very good use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help clearly convey key theoretical information
  5. Key citations are well used
  6. Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
  7. Consider using more tangible, practical, simple examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
  1. Insufficient review of relevant research
  2. More detail about key studies would be ideal
  3. Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area?
  4. Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  5. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. considering the strength of relationships
    3. acknowledging limitations
    4. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. Insufficient integration between theory and research
  2. The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research; strive for an integrated balance
  3. Insufficient integration with chapters
  1. Reasonably good summary and conclusion
  2. Key points are well summarised
  3. Address the focus questions
  4. Add practical, take-home message(s)
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is reasonably good
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "as previously mentioned") because it's usually unnecessary. If needed, use section linking.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections
    2. Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see [Provide more detail] tags)
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see [grammar?] tags). Consider using a grammar checking tool, Studiosity, and/or peer feedback on draft work.
    2. Abbreviations
      1. Once an abbreviation has been established (e.g., PTSD), use it consistently aftwarwards
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour)
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation – more info (e.g., remove first letter capitalisation of models/theories)
  6. APA style
    1. Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, communicate about concepts in your own words
    3. Figures
      1. Reasonably well captioned
      2. Use this format for captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption goes here in sentence casing. See example.
      3. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., "(see Figure 1)"; do not use bold, italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    4. Citations use very good APA Style (7th ed.):
      1. List multiple citations in alphabetical order by first author surname
    5. References use very good APA style:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation
  1. Excellent/Very good/Good/Reasonably good/Basic/Insufficient use of learning features
  2. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Very good use of figure(s)
  5. No use of table(s)
  6. Basic use of feature box(es)
  7. The chapter is conceptually abstract. Insufficient use of scenarios, case studies, or practical examples
  8. Very good use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s)
  9. The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than as a set of questions at the end
  10. Basic use of the "See also" section
    1. Also include links to related Wikipedia articles
  11. Very good use of the "External links" section
  1. ~3 logged, useful, mostly moderate contributions with direct links to evidence
  2. Some images uploaded to Wikimedia Commons, but not logged as contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:33, 5 December 2024 (UTC)Reply

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