Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Comprehensive action determination model

Latest comment: 9 days ago by Jtneill in topic Draft feedback

Initial suggestions

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@HassanAlsamara: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:16, 11 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

 
  1. The title and/or sub-title were not correctly worded and/or formatted (fixed)
  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  2. Insufficient development of headings to unpack the topic
  3. Reasonably good alignment between focus questions and heading structure, but consider closer alignment
  4. Check and correct capitalisation
  5. Background info about motivation is not needed; instead, unpack the CADM and its application
  1. Add a scenario or case study in a feature box (with an image) at the start of this section to help catch reader interest
  2. Add a brief, evocative description of the problem/topic
  3. Reasonably good alignment between focus questions and heading structure, but consider closer alignment
  4. Tailor the focus questions away from general questions about motivation to more specific unpacking of the sub-title
  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. For sections which include sub-sections, include the key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  3. Avoid providing too much background information. Aim to briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  4. Use APA style for citations (e.g., alphabetical order)
  5. Use Australian spelling
  6. Strive for an integrated balance of the best psychological theory and research about this topic, with practical examples
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Underway
    2. What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?)
  1. One or more figure(s) is/are presented and captioned
  2. The relevance of one or more figures isn't clear
  3. The figure caption(s) could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text using APA style (e.g., see Figure 1)
  1. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters (see Tutorial 2)
  2. Consider use of one or more scenarios/examples/case studies
  3. Focus the quiz question(s) on the take-home messages for each focus question
  4. Also consider using one or more tables to summarise key information
  1. OK
  2. Messy
  3. Reeve is overused as a citation
  4. Are there any systematic reviews about this topic?
  5. Check and correct APA referencing style:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
    4. make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable)
    5. use dois where available instead of other links
  1. See also
    1. Very good
    2. Link to the most relevant Wikipedia page(s) - emotion is too general
    3. Use alphabetical order
  2. External links
    1. OK
    2. Move Wikipedia link to see also (much better than the emotion link)
    3. Other link is too general
    4. Only include links directly related to the sub-title
  1. Very good
  2. Excellent description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. A link to the book chapter is provided
  1. Good – two out of three types of contributions made with with direct link(s) to evidence. The other type of contribution is making:
    1. posts about the unit or project on other platforms such as the UCLearn discussion forum or on X using the #emot24

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:40, 26 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation
  1. The opening conveys the purpose of the presentation in a basic way
  2. Incorrect date on opening slide
  3. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest (e.g., through an example)
  4. A basic context for the presentation is established
  5. Consider asking focus questions to help focus and discipline the presentation
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little, but the balance could be improved (it is very theoretically dry)
  4. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes insufficient/no use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation makes basic use of citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes insufficient use of examples
  8. The presentation could be improved by providing practical advice
  1. Provide a conclusion which summarises the most relevant psychological theory and research about this topic, with take-home messages for each focus question
  1. The presentation makes very basic use of narrated audio
  2. Audio communication is reasonably well-paced
  3. Basic intonation
  4. The narration could benefit from further scripting and/or practice
  5. Audio recording quality was excellent
  6. The narrated content is reasonably well matched to the target topic
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides
  3. The presentation makes basic use of text-based slides
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  5. The amount of text presented on one or more slides could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time
  6. The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by relevant images and/or diagrams
  7. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  8. The visual content is reasonably well matched to the target topic
  1. The (almost) correct title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. This would help to convey the purpose of the presentation and be consistent.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Expand.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. Provide clickable links to the image sources and license details (e.g., in the description)
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is clearly indicated

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:40, 10 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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Hi HassanAlsamara. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:16, 12 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

Draft feedback

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@HassanAlsamara: From a very quick look at current draft:

  • Looks comprehensive (but this isn't based on reading, only a quick scan)
  • See comment above about heading capitalisation
  • Remove trailing colons from headings
  • Follow APA style for capitalisation
  • Use focused focus questions (e.g., avoid general questions such as why is understanding motivation important)
  • Use APA style for citations (e.g., alphabetical order for multiple citations)
  • Use Australian spelling (internalized -> internalised)
  • The draft is over the maximum word count (e.g., reduce the section "What is motivation?")
  • Use APA style for references
  • Use 3rd person perspective rather than first person perspective (e.g., remove "we")
  • Some paragraphs overly long (aim for 3 to 5 sentences)

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:16, 12 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

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