Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Testosterone, winning, and losing

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Very good Comma was missing User page Created Description about self Add link to book chapter Social contribution Useful contributions with links to evidence. Add a brief summary of each contribution. Section headings Under-developed, 1-level heading structure - develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the largest section(s). Key points Overview - Consider adding: focus questions. an image. a case study. citation. Remove or adapt generic template content. Basic development of key points for some sections. Some sections are empty. Lack of theory and research. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Image None added. References None added. Resources None added.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:55, 29 September 2019 (UTC)

Initial suggestions

@Hugo DL: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

• Check out other related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work:
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Hormones/Testosterone
• What psychological theory(ies) can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:10, 12 August 2023 (UTC)

Heading casing

Hi Hugo DL. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:11, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

Thanks! I realised i was doing it sub-consciously and since changed it over so it fits the heading case style!

Thanks for the heads up Hugo DL (discuss • contribs) 03:54, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is not correctly worded and formatted. Be consistent with the book table of contents. Headings Basic, 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure Use default heading formatting (i.e., avoid bold, italics, underline, changing the size etc.) The headings should reflect the sub-title: What is the relationship between winning, losing, and testosterone? and focus questions Overview Promising scenario. At the start of this section, put the scenario in a feature box with an image to help attract reader interest Limited development of topical key points; unpack the last key point Promising focus questions Last focus question may not be necessary unless it is related to winning/losing Key points In considering this relationship, perhaps consider direction of causality (e.g., how does T affect W/L, but also how does W/F affect T?) Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts (e.g., testosterone, winning/losing) and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title i.e., expand the focus on the relationship between testosterone and winning/losing Move references into the Reference section and replace with APA style citations Promising balance of theory and research Conclusion (the most important section): Well underway What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?) Figure A relevant figure is presented, captioned, and cited Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text Learning feature Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Promising use of example(s)/case study(ies) Consider also including quiz question(s), table(s) etc. References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: Use full journal title italicisation Resources See also Excellent External links Not developed Move peer-reviewed sources into references and cite them User page Excellent – used effectively Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter (rename to make it more user-friendly) Social contribution Evidence is provided for one of out three types of social contribution Great to see you on Twitter!

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:16, 22 September 2023 (UTC)

Edits and feedback

Hi,

I have read over your chapter so far and made some minor grammar edits, added some hyperlinks and fixed some in text citations to be in line with APA 7 style. I have also noticed that the first image you have in your scenario box does not have a description. If you have any questions let me know. Keep up the good work! U3197031 (discuss • contribs) 05:24, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter. It makes very good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem. The main area for potential improvement is the quality of written expression Well over the maximum word count. The content beyond 4,000 words has been ignored for marking purposes. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Well developed Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or scenario with an image in a feature box Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon Rewrite learning outcomes as focus questions Theory An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained The chapter wanders off a little bit and goes over the maximum word count, so concentrate on testosterone, winning, and losing Build more strongly on other related chapters and/or Wikipedia articles(e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Basic use of tables, figures, and/or lists are to help convey key theoretical information Key citations are well used In some places, there is insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Reasonably good use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Excellent review of relevant research Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area? Greater emphasis on effect sizes could be helpful. Strive to synthesise findings across multiple similar/related studies (this can save going through each study one by one) Very good critical thinking about relevant research is evident Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Integration Excellent integration between theory and researchy Conclusion Solid summary and conclusion Remind the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest Key points are well summarised Add practical, take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is good Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence. Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes Layout See earlier comments about heading casing Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see tags) Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) Abbreviations Abbreviations are used inconsistently Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour) Proofreading More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard Remove unnecessary capitalisation APA style Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Use serial commas[2]. See explanatory video (1 min) Replace double spaces with single spaces Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99) Tables Use APA style for captions. See example Refer to each Table using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation) Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of italicisation Learning features Very good use of learning features Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. Basic use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s) Basic use of table(s) Good use of feature box(es) No use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) Good use of case studies or examples Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Basic use of external links in the "External links" section Rename links per Tutorial 02 Use sentence casing Use alphabetical order Include sources in parentheses Move peer-reviewed articles into references and cite Social contribution Social contributions are claimed without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:50, 4 November 2023 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Very engaging introduction to hook audience interest A context for the presentation is clearly established through an example Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content. The presentation makes reasonably good use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations to support claims The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation provides easy to understand information Conclusion The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit Audio The audio is easy to follow The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio Audio communication is well paced Excellent intonation enhances listener interest and engagement The narration is well practiced and/or performed Audio recording quality was very good. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality. The microphone may be too close (some distortion). The narrated content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Video Overall, visual display quality is very good The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams The presentation is well produced using simple tools The visual content is well matched to the target topic (see content) Meta-data The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is provided Links to and from the book chapter are provided An active hyperlink to the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:23, 11 November 2023 (UTC)