Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Humility


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title was missing – I've added it
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  3. We could revise the last part of the sub-title to something like "how desirable is it?" or "what are its pros and cons?". Email me if you'd like to do something like this.
  1. Created – minimal, but sufficient
  2. Brief description about self provided – consider expanding
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. At least one contribution has been claimed without a summary or direct link(s) to evidence
  2. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
  3. Use a numbered list
  4. Add a brief summary of each contribution
  1. Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure
  2. It makes logical sense to use the sub-title questions as top-level headings. Consider further development of sub-headings in those sections.
  1. Basic development of key points for some sections, with some relevant citations
  2. Direct quotations are overused; write in your own words
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. focus questions
    3. an image
    4. an example or case study
  4. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
  5. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Hasn't been developed
  8. Use APA 7th ed. citation style (e.g., citations with 3 or more authors should be cited as First Author Surname et al., year)
  1. Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  1. Good
  2. Only include sources that have been cited
  3. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
  1. See also
    1. Very good
    2. Use bullet-points
    3. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    4. Include source in brackets after link
  2. External links
    1. Very good
    2. Use bullet-points
    3. Use sentence casing
    4. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    5. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:10, 1 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Formatting tips

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If you click edit source above you will be able to see what I'm talking about. The reference list needs a little help because title of journals and volume numbers should be italicised. You can do this by putting these little marks on either side of the part that needs to be italicised note that you need to put them both on either side, eg Journal of X and that these are NOT quotation marks or inverted commas.. they are some other weird thing... just copy and paste them from this comment and it should work. :) The title of the articles in your reference list should also only contain a capital at the start or for proper nouns so you should make some changes here as well! Figures have not been mentioned within the paragraphs of your chapter, so you should throw refences to the images by saying (see Figure 4) etc. Noah O'Brien (discusscontribs) 07:57, 16 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter.
  2. Note this version was used for marking purposes
  3. Well under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand
  4. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. The Overview is underdeveloped
  2. Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail
  3. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest (added after due date/time)
  4. Focus questions are just copies of the sub-title; consider expanding
  1. Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic
  2. Why start with religion? Consider starting with psychology instead.
  3. Over-reliance on Peterson and Seligman (2004)
  4. Perhaps also consider the HEXACO personality model, which includes humility
  5. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)
  1. Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory
  2. Some problematic examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts
  1. Insufficient use of relevant psychological research
  2. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful
  1. Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  1. Insufficient integration of relevant theory and research
  1. Insufficient summary
  2. Consider reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest
  3. What are the practical, take-home message(s)?
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic
    2. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they)
    3. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections
    4. Not all template material was removed
  2. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
  3. Spelling
    1. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.
-- APA style -->
  1. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10)
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, write in your own words
    3. Figures
      1. Figures are well captioned
      2. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
    4. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. A space is needed before use of parentheses
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[1]
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation
      3. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is basic
  2. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section
  5. Basic use of image(s)
  6. No use of table(s)
  7. Good use of feature box(es)
  8. Basic use of quiz(zes)
  9. Strange use of case studies. It is hard to see how the extreme, murder examples serve as useful illustrations of key psychological theory or research about humility in everyday life. What could be a more useful example?
  10. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section. Use bullet-points. Include source in parentheses.
  11. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section. Use bullet-points. Include source in parentheses.
  12. Format bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 02
  1. ~2 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:54, 1 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation
  1. Display and narrate the correct title and sub-title to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation and to be consistent with the book chapter
  2. This presentation has a basic introduction to engage audience interest
  3. Focus questions are presented
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  4. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  5. The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion)
  6. The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory
  7. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological research
  8. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice
  9. The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information
  1. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages
  1. The voice synthesised audio worked well
  2. However, this was also a good opportunity to practice your own narration
  3. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio
  4. Audio communication is clear and well paced
  5. Very good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement
  6. Audio recording quality was good
  7. Mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio
  1. Overall, visual display quality is excellent
  2. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides
  3. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams
  5. The presentation is well produced
  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. A general link to the book is provided, but an active hyperlink isn't used to provide 1-click access
  4. A link from the book chapter is provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:45, 8 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

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