Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Pregnancy loss and emotion

Heading casing

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Hi Annabelle Taylor. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:50, 9 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Initial suggestions

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@Annabelle Taylor: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:50, 9 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Your topic development is looking really good! Your topic is something I find quite interesting so I cannot wait to read the final chapter. U3200844 (discusscontribs) 13:23, 15 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

 
  1. The title and sub-title are correctly worded and formatted
  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  2. Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure
  3. Adopt closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings
  4. Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections
  5. Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
  6. Use default heading style (e.g., remove bold and trailing colons)
  7. Concentrate on the relationship between PL and emotion rather than each of these as separate concepts
  1. Excellent - Scenario, image, evocative description of the problem/topic, relevant psychological theory/research, and focus questions
  2. Move the scenario or case study into a feature box (with an image) to the start of this section to help catch reader interest
  3. Add an image to the scenario or case study to help attract reader interest
  4. Simplify/abbreviate the overview. Make this section more user-friendly. Move detail into subsequent sections.
  5. Basic definitions probably don't need to be focus questions; concentrate on unpacking the core topic
  6. Closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings is recommended
  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with some relevant citations
  2. For sections which include sub-sections, include the key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  3. Avoid providing too much background information. Aim to briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  4. Strive for an integrated balance of the best psychological theory and research about this topic, with illustrative examples
  5. Use APA style 7th edition for citations with three or more authors (i.e., FirstAuthor et al., year)
  6. I recommend using the Studiosity service and/or a service like Grammarly to help improve the quality of written expression because there are a lot of grammatical errors
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Hasn't been developed
  1. A relevant figure is presented, captioned, and cited
  2. Figure 2 isn't a foetus (as indicated in citation?)
  3. Captions could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text
  4. Figure(s) are cited at least once in the main text
  1. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  2. Promising use of example(s)/case study(ies)
  3. Promising use of quiz question(s)
  4. Also consider using one or more tables to summarise key information
  1. OK but incomplete and not in APA style
  2. Well done on identifying relevant systematic reviews and/or meta-analyses
  3. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
    4. make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable)
    5. page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. See also
    1. OK
    2. Use sentence casing
    3. Move external links to the external links section
    4. Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages
  2. External links
    1. Not developed
  1. Very good
  2. Excellent description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Rename the book chapter link to make it more user-friendly (see Tutorial 02)
  1. Use a numbered list (as taught in Tutorial 2)
  2. Two out of three types of contributions made with with indirect link(s) to evidence
  3. The other types of contribution are making:
    1. posts about the unit or project on other platforms
  4. If adding the second or subsequent link to a page (or a talk/discussion page), create a direct link like / Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:33, 19 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a promising, but insufficient chapter mainly due to the lack of sufficient citation and integration of reserach evidence
  2. Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Reasonably good
  2. Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box; also include a relevant image
  3. Briefly explains the problem or phenomenon
  4. Basic focus questions
  5. Two questions were very similar, so I've combined them
  6. Use open-ended rather than closed-ended focus questions (fixed)
  7. Develop closer alignment between the the focus questions and headings
  1. A basic range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. Reduce general theoretical background (e.g., about emotion). Instead, summarise and link to related resources (i.e., other book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles). Increase emphasis on substantive aspects of theory that relate directly to the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
  3. Why was Kübler-Ross' stage theory of grief focused on? What is the evidence about this theory compared to other theories of grief and loss as applied to pregnancy?
  4. Build more strongly on related chapters and/or Wikipedia articles (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)
  5. Reasonably good depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
  6. Basic use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help convey key theoretical information
  7. Use tables, figures, and/or lists to help convey key theoretical information
  8. Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  9. Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
  1. Insufficient review of relevant research
  2. Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  3. Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  4. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  5. Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  1. Insufficient integration between theory and research
  2. The chapter places more emphasis on theory than on research; strive for an integrated balance
  1. Basic summary and conclusion
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is reasonably good
    2. The target audience is international, not domestic. Only 0.3% of the world human population lives in Australia.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Communicate one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences.
    4. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes
    5. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking
    6. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter has an overly complicated structure; aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Introduction and Conclusion
    2. Remove colons from the ends of headings
    3. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
    4. Use the default heading style (e.g., remove additional italics and/or bold)
    5. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Grammar
    1. Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[2]
  4. APA style
    1. Use serial commas[3]. Video (1 min)
    2. "Use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159)
    3. Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99)
    4. Figures
      1. Figures are briefly captioned; provide more detail to help connect the figure to the text
      2. Use this format for figure captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example
      3. The figure numbering needs correcting
      4. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
      5. Figure 4 would have been better presented as a wiki table so that it could be edited and improved
    5. Citations use basic APA style (7th ed.). To improve:
      1. Do not include author first name or initials
    6. References use basic APA style:
      1. The reference list does not indicate that the best psychology theory and research about this topic was used to prepare this chapter
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation
      3. Separate page numbers using an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
      4. Include hyperlinked dois
  1. Basic use of learning features
  2. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  3. Reasonably good use of image(s)
  4. No use of table(s)
  5. Reasonably good use of feature box(es)
  6. Basic use of case studies or examples
  7. Very good use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s)
  8. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
    1. Also include links to related Wikipedia articles
    2. Move external links to the external links section
  9. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section
    1. Use alphabetical order
    2. Include sources in parentheses after the link
    3. Target an international audience
  1. ~10 logged, useful, mostly minor social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:41, 19 October 2024 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it is over the time limit and doesn't sufficiently hone in on synthesising the best psychological theory and research about this topic
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes
  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is very briefly displayed and narrated
  2. Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest (e.g., by introducing a case study or scenario)
  3. A context for the presentation is clearly established through an example
  4. A context for the presentation is established
  5. A basic context for the presentation is established
  6. Establish a context for the presentation (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand
  7. Focus questions are too complicated for a short presentation; focus
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  3. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content.
  4. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation makes insufficient use of citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes insufficient use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice
  8. The presentation lacks focus on easy to understand evidence-based information about the topic
  1. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit
  1. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio
  2. Consider slowing down. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. Reasonably good intonation
  4. The narration could benefit from further scripting and/or practice
  5. Audio recording quality was excellent
  6. The narrated content is reasonably well/poorly matched to the target topic. I recommend downplaying the general psychological theory about emotion and up-playing more targetted theory and research
  1. Overall, visual display quality is reasonably good
  2. The presentation makes basic use of mostly text-based slides
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images and/or diagrams
  5. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Provide a written description of the presentation to help potential viewers decide whether or not to watch
  3. A link to the book chapter is not provided
  4. A link from the book chapter is provided
  1. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:54, 3 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

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