Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Unemployment and depression

Initial suggestions

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@U3213250: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:52, 9 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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Hi U3213250. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:29, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Peer-reviewed article

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Intriguing topic. I have found a relevant peer-reviewed article that may be good to use as a case study. https://www-sciencedirect-com.ezproxy.canberra.edu.au/science/article/pii/S0165032717326319?via%3Dihub --U3189442 - K.Ryan (discusscontribs) 00:05, 24 August 2023 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

 

Peer Comment Hello, I was wondering whether co-morbid mental health conditions can increase the determinants to developing a worsened form of depression amoungst the unemplyed?

  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  2. Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development and refinement (e.g., use more topic-specific heading than "scientific literature")
  3. Remove citations and bold formatting from headings
  4. Consider adopting closer alignment between the focus questions and the top-level headings
  1. Promising (engaging)
  2. Consider adding/expanding example or case study
  3. Focus questions
    1. should unpack the sub-title: "What is the relationship between unemployment and depression?"
    2. remove why do you think question (but this could go elsewhere)
  1. Moderate development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. The proposed content, especially theories, is quite broad - consider narrowing in intially on the problem (what does research say about the link between U and D? What is the direction(s) of the relationship? How strong is the relationship? What does the best available research (e.g., meta-analyses) say about the link between U and D? What other factors (e.g., individual and social differences) contribute to this relationship (e.g., time). And then turn to what helps to make people resilient and how this be enhanced.
  3. Theories - be selective. Probably suggest max of 5. SDT and learned helplessness definitely makes sense.
  4. For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  5. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Well developed
  1. A relevant figure is presented
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  3. Consider increasing Figure 1 size from to make it easier to view
  1. Promising use of quiz question(s). Suggest making the topic more closely aligned with key principles/take-home messages.
  2. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  3. Consider including more examples/case studies
  4. Good
  5. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. doi formatting
    4. page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Very good
    2. 2nd link should probably be an academic citation
    3. Include source in brackets after link
  1. Used effectively
  2. Brief description about self provided – consider expanding
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter (rename to make it more user-friendly)
  1. At least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence
  2. If adding the second or subsequent link to a page, create a direct link like / Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:34, 5 September 2023 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter. It makes good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Good
  2. Provide a case study or scenario with an image in a feature box to help engage reader interest
  3. Explains the problem or phenomenon
  4. Basic focus questions
  1. A reasonably good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. The chapter could be improved by providing less general theory and more specific theory applied to unemployment and depression
  3. Builds reasonably well on related chapters and/or Wikipedia articles
  4. Reasonably good depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
  5. No use of tables, figures, and/or lists are to help convey key theoretical information
  6. Use of academic, peer-reviewed citations is lacking in a small number of places (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  7. Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
  8. Examples could be improved by focusing on unemployment and depression
  1. Reasonably good review of relevant research
  2. Good critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  3. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. Reasonably good integration between theory and research
  1. Basic summary and conclusion
  2. Key points are summarised
  3. Add practical, take-home message(s)
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. Convey one idea per paragraph using three to five sentences.
    4. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet points into full sentences and paragraphs
    5. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes
    6. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking
  2. Layout
    1. Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see [Provide more detail] tags)
    2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
  3. Grammar
    1. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect
  4. Proofreading
    1. Remove unnecessary capitalisation
  5. APA style
    1. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159)
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, write in your own words
    3. Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99)
    4. Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    5. Figures
      1. Figures are captioned
      2. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text
    6. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
        1. in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
        2. in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
      2. Do not include author first name or initials
      3. Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses
      4. List multiple citations in alphabetical order by first author surname
    7. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Provide the full journal title
      2. Check and correct use of capitalisation[2]
  1. Basic use of learning features
  2. Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example.
  3. Some use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Basic use of image(s)
  5. No use of table(s)
  6. Very good use of feature box(es)
  7. Basic use of case studies or examples
  8. Basic use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s)
  9. The quiz questions could be improved by being more focused on the key points and/or take-home messages
  10. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
  11. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section
    1. Are these the best external links about unemployment and depression?
  1. ~2 logged, useful, minor social contributions with direct links to evidence
  2. ~3 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:38, 4 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it lacks synthesis of the best psychological theory and research about this topic.
  2. The creative and practical emphasis was promising, but the suggestions need to be more clearly built on psychological science
  1. This presentation could be improved by displaying and narrating a slide with the same title and sub-title as the book chapter to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation
  2. Very engaging introduction to hook audience interest  
  3. A basic context for the presentation is established
  4. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation.
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  4. The presentation makes insufficient use of relevant psychological theory (e.g., perhaps consider learned helplessness and/or self-determination theory)
  5. The presentation makes insufficient/no use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation makes insufficient use of citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes good use of one case study
  1. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages in response to each focus question
  1. The audio is fun and interesting to listen to
  2. The presentation makes good use of narrated audio
  3. Audio communication is well paced
  4. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  5. Very good intonation
  6. The narration is well practiced and/or performed
  7. Audio recording quality was excellent
  8. The narrated content is well/reasonably well/poorly matched to the target topic but lacked synthesis of the best psychological theory and research about this topic
  1. Overall, visual display quality is good
  2. The presentation makes creative use of webcam video and images
  3. Text could also be useful
  4. The visual communication is supplemented in a reasonably good way by images and/or diagrams
  5. The presentation is well produced
  6. The visual content lacked synthesis of the best psychological theory and research about this topic
  1. The chapter sub-title but not the chapter title is used in the name of the presentation. The title would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A written description of the presentation is provided
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  4. An inactive hyperlink to the book chapter is provided because the YouTube user account does not yet have access to advanced features
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
    1. This presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:35, 15 November 2023 (UTC)Reply

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