Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Indigenous Australian mindfulness

Heading casing

Hi U3168525. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:22, 23 August 2023 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted Acknowledgement of country is moved into Overview. Consider signing your username. Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing Basic, 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure Consider the possibility adopting closer alignment between the focus questions and the top-level headings (although understand it may make more sense to integrate) Use default heading formatting (i.e., avoid bold, italics, underline, changing the size etc.) Overview Includes scenario, image, evocative description of the problem/topic with links to relevant psychological theory/research, and focus questions Interesting to see that the topic can be examined from a traditional perspective but also contemporary perspective Excellent focus questions; just make sure they allow you to cover/apply relevant psychological theory and research The specific examples don't necessarily need to be focus questions Key points Overall, excellent development Direct quotes need page numbers; quotes greater than 40 words should be inset (APA style) Citations should be in alphabetical order (APA style) What (psychological) theory/research is there about mindfulness, dadirri, Wayapa Wuurrkya, yarning circle etc.? (Where there is insufficient research, point this out, but at least connect to psychological theory). Otherwise, consider treating e.g., Wayapa Wuurrk as a feature box example rather than a core content section. Move references into the References section. Keep citations in the main body. Conclusion (the most important section): Well developed/underway Figure Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned Learning feature Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Excellent use of examples/case studies Excellent use of quiz question(s) References Excellent For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable) Resources See also Very good Use bullet-points (see Tutorial 02) External links Very good Science Direct article probably should be in References User page Excellent Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent – at least three different types of contributions with direct link(s) to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:57, 18 September 2023 (UTC)

Edits and feedback

Hi,

I really enjoyed reading this chapter and think this is such a wonderful topic to write a chapter on. I have read and made some adjustments to assist in the development of your chapter by adding some clarification templates in areas I thought needed expansion or clarification. I thought under the mindfulness heading it might be a good idea to provide an example of conventional mindfulness (visulisation exercises, square breathing). Under the self-determination theory heading it might be useful to provide a short scenario/case study to help explain SDT. I also noticed that your figures currently don't match the text they are related to. I have added a clarification template in these sections. I really enjoyed the examples of Aboriginal mindfulness, as this is something I have no previous knowledge on! Good work on creating such an engaging topic! and please reply if you have any questions about any of the changes U3197031 (discuss • contribs) 04:37, 5 October 2023 (UTC)

Hi there,

I enjoyed reading your chapter and you have made great progress. I was thinking maybe it would be beneficial if you decrease the amount of focus questions you have? James advised 3-5 focus questions.

Great work otherwise.--MaryamNageeb (discuss • contribs) 12:29, 7 October 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter. It successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a challenging, practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. Over the maximum word count. The content beyond 4000 words has been ignored for marking purposes, so most of the References and the External links aren't considered. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Excellent Overview Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest Clear/Basic focus question(s) Perhaps could be shortened given that the chapter is over the maximum word count Theory An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Interesting that SDT is used as a primary theoretical framework. The chapter was ostensibly about "emotion" in relation to Indigenous Australian mindfulness, so it would have been sufficient to concentrate on "mindfulness theory" combined with Indigenous Australian psychology, but the chapter is strengthened by the integrating SDT - well done! The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory Build more strongly on other Indigenous-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Indigenous/Australian) Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Tables, figures, and/or lists are to help clearly convey key theoretical information Excellent use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Key citations are well used Research Excellent use of relevant research; as well as preparedness to critically map out territory which is underresearched Very good critical thinking about relevant research is evident Claims are referenced Perhaps systematic reviews about mindfulness could be used/cited Integration Excellent integration between theory and research Conclusion Excellent summary and conclusion Clear take-home message(s) Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent Use serial commas[2] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min) Check and correct use of affect vs. effect APA style Direct quotes need page numbers Replace double spaces with single spaces Figures Figures are very well captioned Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text Citations are in very good APA style (7th ed.). For example: List multiple citations in alphabetical order by first author surname References are in very good APA style. For example: Minor capitalisation errors Use the simplest version of the URL (remove the extra stuff) Learning features Very good use of learning features Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s) No use of table(s) Good use of feature box(es) Excellent use of quiz(zes) The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end Excellent use of case studies or examples Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Excellent use of external links in the "External links" section Social contribution ~4 logged, useful, minor to major social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:27, 27 October 2023 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed — it could be displayed closer towards the beginning Also narrate the title and sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Very engaging introduction to hook audience interest A context for the topic is clearly established through an example Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation makes use of some relevant psychological theory, but more could be done here Consider including key citations to support claims The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information Check and correct grammar Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic summary The presentation could be strengthened by expanding on the take-home message (e.g., answers to more than one focus question) Audio The audio is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to listen to The presentation makes very good use of narrated audio The narration is well practiced and/or performed Audio recording quality was excellent The narrated content is reasonably well matched to the target topic (see content) The music worked well in the background Transcript provided Video Overall, visual display quality is excellent The presentation makes creative use of images and stock video The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The presentation is very well produced The visual content is well matched to the target topic (see content) The visual imagery was lovely/worked well; however some more text or diagrams could also have been useful to organise/summarise some key information Meta-data The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is provided Links to and from the book chapter are provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:04, 6 November 2023 (UTC)