Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Sorry business

Background FYI

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Hi, I'm sure you're already aware of this UC resource re:cultural protocols. As an FYI (and just in case), I thought I'd provide a link https://www.canberra.edu.au/about-uc/office-of-aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander-leadership-and-strategy/reconciliation/documents/UC-Cultural-Protocols-Guide-2021.pdf. U943292 (discusscontribs) 02:03, 3 October 2022 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. Created – minimal, but sufficient
  2. Brief description about self provided – consider expanding
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence
  1. Under-developed, 1-level heading structure – develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the larger section(s)
  1. Insufficient development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  1. Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. remove bullet-points
    2. capitalisation
    3. doi formatting
    4. page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. See also
    1. OK
    2. Use bullet-points (see Tutorial 02)
    3. Include source in brackets after link
    4. Also link to related book chapters
    5. Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages
    6. Not developed
  2. External links
    1. Good
    2. Use bullet-points (see Tutorial 02)
    3. Use sentence casing
    4. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:16, 3 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation
  2. The main ways this presentation could be improved are:
    1. use of academic peer-reviewed psychological theory and research about sorry business (e.g., https://scholar.google.com/scholar?q=sorry+business)
    2. a Conclusion with take-home messages in response to the sub-title and/or focus questions
    3. The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes
  1. An opening slide with the title is displayed. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has an opening scenario to hook audience interest
  3. A context for the topic is clearly established through an example
  4. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation.
  1. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  2. Some of the basic about SB lack sufficient explanation (e.g., who, what, how, why, when, for how long etc.). How does SB vary from non-Indigenous grief etc.? How does it vary within Indigeneous Australian cultures? etc.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  4. The presentation makes very basic use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research
  6. Include citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. The Cassius Turvey example needs more explanation for an unfamiliar audience. I'm also not sure whether the use of those photos is appropriate?
  8. Check and correct spelling (e.g., greif vs grief) and grammar
  1. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages in response to each focus question
  2. The Conclusion only partly fitted within the time limit
  1. The audio is easy to follow
  2. Audio communication is well paced
  3. Basic intonation
  4. Audio recording quality was very good
  5. The narrated content is partially matched to the target topic (see content)
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic
  2. The presentation makes good use of text and image based slides
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time
  5. The visual communication is supplmented by images and/or diagrams
  6. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  7. The visual content is partially matched to the target topic (see content)
  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access
  4. A link from the book chapter is provided
  1. Image sources are communicated in a general way. Also provide links to each image and the license details. I am somewhat doubtful that all images were sources through PowerPoint (e.g,. Cassius Turvey images?). In any case, provide the exact links for each source, along with their respective copyright licenses.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:06, 12 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:03, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter with a lot of useful material. Ideally, the bullet-points could be fleshed out, some more details and some more examples used.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Promising Overview
  2. Acknowledgement moved to start of Overview
  3. Briefly explains the problem or phenomenon, but focuses more on passing than sorry business
  4. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest
  5. Some helpful focus question(s)
    1. There are probably too many questions to adequately address in this chapter
    2. The last couple of questions aren't so closely tied to the topic
  1. A good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory
  3. Build more strongly on other Indigenous Australia-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Indigenous/Australia)
  1. Some useful depth is provided about the selected theory(ies)
  2. Tables and/or lists could be used more effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information
  3. Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory
  1. Basic overview of relevant research
  2. More detail about key sources would be ideal
  1. Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  2. Some claims are referenced
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  1. Discussion of theory and research is somewhat integrated
  1. Key points are well summarised
  2. Address the focus questions
  3. Add practical, take-home message(s)
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic
    2. The main area for improvement is expanding the bullet-points into sentences and paragraphs
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see [Provide more detail] tags)
    2. See earlier comments about heading casing
    3. Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:)
  3. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation
  4. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    2. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159)
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10)
    4. Figures
      1. Figures are very well captioned
      2. Figure captions use the correct format
      3. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text
      4. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation)
    5. Citations use correct APA style
    6. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Provide all author details
      2. Check and correct use of capitalisation[1]
      3. Check and correct use of italicisation
      4. Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
      5. Include hyperlinked dois
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is good
  2. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Basic use of image(s)
  5. No use of table(s)
  6. Basic use of feature box(es)
  7. Good use of quiz(zes)
  8. No use of case studies or examples
  9. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
    1. Use bullet points per Tutorial 02
    2. Also include links to related book chapters
    3. Also include links to related Wikipedia articles
    4. Include sources in parentheses
  10. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section
    1. Use bullet-points per Tutorial 02
  1. ~1 logged, useful, minor social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:03, 15 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

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