Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Help-seeking among boys

Links to self-help resources

Hello, wow. You've got a lot on your page which is amazing. I'm looking forward to reading it actually. I d suggest that you add some self-help resources that students can reach out to if they find difficult to speak about their emotions or anything. Link like - Beyond blue - Health talk australia

I also suggest you add some tips on how to speak up, here's a link https://tuneinnow.com.au/module_3 CNK.20 (discuss • contribs) 10:40, 24 August 2022 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted User page Excellent Social contribution Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence At least one contribution has indirect link(s) to evidence Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Headings Promising 3-level heading structure – could benefit from further development. Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings My suggestion is remove or significantly reduce the introductory sections. Perhaps provide a section about help-seeking in boys which can introduce relevant theory and research. Then go into the specific sections about barriers and enablers. Coverage of relevant theory could be embedded within the barriers and enablers sections (as opposed to having a stand-alone theory section) I like the focus on interventions to promote help-seeking for boys. Or at least to use some examples as case studies. But be aware that this isn't part of the question, so can be truncated. Key points Reasonably well developed for the first half; absent for the second (more important) half Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Target an international audience; Australians only represent 0.33% of the world population Overview - Consider adding focus questions an image an example or case study I think focusing on selected specific barriers and enablers would provide appropriate, applied use of theory and research without having to have a separate, stand-alone theory section. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies Avoid overuse of direct quotations. Best to write in your own words. Conclusion (the most important section): Hasn't been developed In a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions? Figure A figure is not presented – see Tutorial 01 References Very good May need to be selective - focus on the best/top/key references Check APA style for page numbers Resources None provided – see Tutorial 01

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:11, 22 September 2022 (UTC)

Article that may be of interest

Ishikawa, A., Rickwood, D., Bariola, E., & Bhullar, N. (2022). Autonomy versus support: self-reliance and help-seeking for mental health problems in young people. Social Psychiatry and Psychiatric Epidemiology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00127-022-02361-4 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:18, 5 October 2022 (UTC)

Suggestions

Hi Brad,

Fantastic topic. I greatly appreciate you raising awareness of help-seeking among boys. This definitely deserves more attention. I'm looking forward to reading your final submission!

I have a suggestion for the readability of your chapter. I've noticed the "top examples" of previous year's submission (posted by James) share a similarity: less paragraphs. This aligns with the readability component 6.1.1. However, I acknowledge James does state in 6.1.6 that "A well-constructed paragraph is generally 3 to 5 sentences (opening sentence, body sentences, and a concluding/linking sentence). Avoid one sentence paragraphs and overly long paragraphs."

Your paragraphs read well, and they are constructed with thoughtfulness and detail. I appreciate this. And mine flows much the same. But having recently noticed the commonality of the top-examples I thought I would share my thoughts. I've started adapting my own chapter page in a similar way. Feel free to check it out: Window of tolerance.

Might also be worth considering adding extra images to the chapter, to break up the text and boost viewer engagement. Wikipedia can be such a boring platform to work with, adding your own creative flare makes it engaging!

Hope this is constructive and not offensive! No offense meant in any way, just hoping to help a fellow class-mate gain extra marks! :) U3223109 (discuss • contribs) 06:26, 11 October 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed. Also narrate — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Consider using time permanent references (e.g., since the beginning of the 21st century rather than the last two decades) Consider creating an engaging introduction to hook audience interest A basic context for the topic is established, but I think it could help to point the rate of mental health problems in young men Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content The presentation addresses the topic The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion) The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations to support claims The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion An audio Conclusion is provided The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages in response to each focus question Audio The audio is easy to follow Audio communication is well paced Reasonably good intonation The narration is well practiced Audio recording quality was very good Video Overall, visual display quality is very good The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The amount of text presented per slide makes it reasonably easy to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams The presentation is well produced using simple tools Meta-data The chapter title and sub-title (or an abbreviation to fit within the 100 character limit) are used in the name of the presentation — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Capitalise the first letter of the sub-title (per the book chapter) A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is not provided A link from the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:20, 11 November 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter that makes very good use of psychological theory and research to help address a real-world phenomenon or problem Well over the maximum word count. The content beyond 4000 words (i.e., from de-stigmatisation table onwards) has been ignored for marking purposes. To fit within the word count, the most obvious ways could be to reduce description of the problem, provide equal emphasis on barriers and enablers, and to be more selective about which citations to use. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Reasonably good Overview I've made some edits to wrangle the first thee sections into a single Overview section, with case study, image, rationale, and focus questions Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest Clear focus question(s) Theory – Breadth An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Theory – Depth Insightful depth is provided about the selected theory(ies) Key citations are well used Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts Research – Key findings Relevant research is well reviewed Research – Critical thinking Good critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Claims are referenced Integration Discussion of theory and research is well integrated Conclusion No counted for marking purposes (over word count) Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good The main issue is that the chapter is over the maximum word count Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored" or "this chapter will explore") [1][2] Internationalise: Write for an international, rather than domestic, audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[3] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten. Grammar Use serial commas[4] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min)] Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour) APA style Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10) Direct quotes need page numbers – even better, write in your own words Figures Figures are very well captioned Figure captions use the correct format Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation) Tables Table captions should use APA style. See example Refer to each Table at least once within the main text (e.g., see Table 1) Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: Although not an APA style rule, it is recommend to select up to a maximum of three citations per point (i.e., avoid citing four or more citations to support a single point). This can help with reducing the word count. Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of italicisation Include hyperlinked dois Written expression – Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is very good Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s) Excellent use of table(s) Good use of feature box(es) Excellent use of quiz(zes) Good use of case studies or examples Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section (not counted for marking purposes) Excellent use of external links in the "External links" section (not counted for marking purposes) Social contribution ~3 images added to Wikimedia Commons, but these images were removed due to insufficient copyright permissions ~2 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:46, 15 November 2022 (UTC)