Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Colonisation and emotion in Australia

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:02, 3 October 2022 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title and sub-title are incorrectly worded and formatted User page Created – minimal, but sufficient Very brief description about self provided – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with direct link(s) to evidence – this was covered in Tutorial 03. Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see how to earn marks for social contributions. Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing Under-developed, 1-level heading structure – develop further, perhaps using a 2-level structure for the larger section(s) Key points Promising development of key points Much of the Overview content could be moved into subsequent sections Overview - Consider adding: an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered an image an example or case study Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Consider including more examples/case studies Avoid overcapitalisation Conclusion (the most important section): Hasn't been developed What might the take-home, practical messages be? In a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions? Figure A relevant figure is not presented References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: italicisation Resources See also Not developed Link to related book chapters Link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links OK, but unclear how this relates to emotion? Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:02, 3 October 2022 (UTC)

Proofreading and comments

Hello there. I really enjoyed reading your chapter so far. You have done a great job at approaching a very sensitive topic. I like how you have emphasized that the problems experienced by First Australians today are problems that were created long ago by colonization.

I also made some minor typo edits on your chapter and changed some of heading s to lower case (as James suggested we do).

Looking forward to reading the final product.

Thank you :) U3215603 (discuss • contribs) 06:07, 16 October 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter. Thank-you for bravely taking on this topic and providing a very readable, interesting, forthright picture of the emotional consequences of colonisation in Australia. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Well developed Overview Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image Clear focus question(s) Theory – Breadth An excellent range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Theory – Depth Insightful depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Excellent use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research – Key findings Very good review of relevant research Research – Critical thinking Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Some claims are referenced Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Integration Very good integration between theory and research Conclusion Excellent summary and conclusion Key points are well summarised Clear take-home message(s) Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good Internationalise: Write for an international, rather than domestic, audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet points into full paragraph format Layout Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings Use the default heading style (e.g., remove additional bold) Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) Use serial commas[1] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min) Proofreading More proofreading is needed (e.g., to fix consistency of capitalisation for terms referring to first nations, Indigenous etc.) APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159) Write numbers under 10 using words (e.g., five). Write numbers 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 10). Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Figures Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1) Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) Do not include author first name or initials References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[2] Check and correct use of italicisation Some references are incomplete Written expression – Learning features Excellent use of learning features One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s) No use of table(s) Very good use of feature box(es) Basic use of quiz(zes) Excellent use of case studies or examples Very good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Very good use of external links in the "External links" section Use bullet points per Tutorial 02 Include sources in parentheses Social contribution ~2 logged social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:10, 20 November 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation Overview An opening slide with the sub-title is displayed. Also display and narrate the title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and to be consistent with the book chapter. The gif on the opening slide is a bit distracting Check and correct grammar (e.g., lets -> let's) This presentation has a basic introduction to engage audience interest Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation somewhat addresses the topic An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion) The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes little to no use of relevant psychological research Include citations to support claims The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic summary What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives based on the best available psychological theory and research about this topic? Audio The audio is easy to follow Audio communication is well paced Good intonation Audio recording quality was very good Video Overall, visual display quality is basic The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The amount of text presented on some slides could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by images and/or diagrams The presentation is basically produced using simple tools Meta-data The video title does not match the chapter title and sub-title — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and be more consistent A written description of the presentation is not provided. Providing an informative description can help viewers decide whether they want to watch or not. A link to the book chapter is not provided A link from the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:16, 22 November 2022 (UTC)