Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Juvenile delinquency motivation

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comment

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Hi! Your book chapter is looking like its getting along really well! I was looking and found this really interesting article on juvenile delinquency and the factors that cause it! Hopefully this helps you out a little :) Link: https://web.archive.org/web/20190712172646id_/http://www.pscipub.com:80/Journals/Data/JList/Scientia%20Agriculturae/2015/Volume%20%209/Issue%201/6.pdf --U3204694 (discusscontribs) 10:09, 30 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Raising the age of criminal responsibility

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Hi there. It looks like your book chapter is coming along nicely. You have chosen a particularly interesting topic and one that is currently being considered in the ACT jurisdiction. There is currently debate as to the raising of the age of criminal responsibility from 10 years to 14 years. This might be useful in discussing the topic of juvenile delinquency and motivation. I have included the link to the discussion paper put forward by the Attorney-General of the ACT: https://s3.ap-southeast-2.amazonaws.com/hdp.au.prod.app.act-yoursay.files/4516/2433/2390/Discussion_Paper_-_FINAL.pdf

I hope this is useful!

Jonathan

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Hi, your chapter is looking really good! I really enjoy the theories of motivation you have chosen. I have found a good resource that may be useful to include in your chapter; https://www.jstor.org/stable/1141635?casa_token=qwXQ-RpkfukAAAAA%3AHP4zSz43u-_xP3s4QJdm58vsg_ScHv8IlaNTMAhz3AHqNM7xFKNh216YDGw6MVMCpQjsHhTT3F-B_imeUd5Dwob65lO-cIfizqWKxYXCmv3j0Lf8Kg&seq=2#metadata_info_tab_contents The above article discusses the economic motivation behind crime that could be a useful point to raise. I know you touched on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation, and socioeconomic status could be interesting to discuss further:)

Hopefully this helps! Best of luck. - u3204463 --U3204463 (discusscontribs) 00:48, 28 August 2021 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. Created - minimal, but sufficient
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence
  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic
  2. COVID-19 could be a case study but doesn't warrant it's own section (i.e., isn't essential to addressing the topic)
  1. Promising key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations
  2. Overview - Consider:
    1. introducing a basic statistic about % of juveniles who engage in repeated unlawful behaviour
    2. consolidating the focus questions
    3. adding an example or case study
  3. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  4. Good balance of theory and research
  5. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?
  1. A figure is presented
  2. Caption uses APA style
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  1. Very good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. separate page numbers by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Very good
    2. Target an international audience; Australians only represent 0.33% of the world population

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:32, 13 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Detention as a cause for reoffending in juveniles

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Hi! I can see you're getting close to your word count, but I feel like your final sections would benefit from touching on the tendency for juvenile offenders to reoffend if they are jailed. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11126-014-9296-4 is a really good review of relatively current literature on the topic, and while this particular review is based on america, similar findings have been found across quite a lot of European and some South-Asian countries, which might help your piece relate to a wider audience. Thanks! U3187741 (discusscontribs) 22:40, 15 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a rich chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. The main area for potential improvement is in the quality of written expression.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Well explained Overview.
  2. Clear focus question(s).
  3. Perhaps it would help to present the case study in this section, to help arouse reader interest.
  4. Some minor improvements to the quality of written expression could be made (e.g., see my copyedits).
  1. An appropriate range of relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information.
  3. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.
  1. Some relevant research is reviewed. Ideally, more indepth research about the application of the theories to the problem could be incorporated.
  2. Tables 2 to 3 aren't really needed because they don't address a focus question or the sub-title question; perhaps just summarise key statistics in text early on (e.g,. in the Overview), to allow more scope for reviewing research in relation to the theories.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Basic critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. The chapter places more emphasis on theory than research.
  2. Most research discussed is integrated with theory.
  1. A basic Conclusion is provided.
  2. Strongly recommend to rewrite from passive to active voice (e.g., see my copyedits).
  3. Consider adding practical, take-home messages.
  1. Written expression
    1. Use active (e.g., "describes") rather than passive (e.g., "is used to describe") voice[1][2].
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just a domestic audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
    4. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[3] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
    5. Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. incredibly) in science-based communication.
    6. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Grammar
    1. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[4].
    2. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  5. APA style
    1. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    2. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    3. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation).
      3. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    4. Citations use correct APA style.
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. "Retrieved from" is no longer used (APA style, 7th ed.)
      2. Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
      3. Include hyperlinked dois
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is very good.
  2. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.# No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  3. Poll is an excellent idea. Any way to show the results? (There are polling tools that can do this).
  4. Good use of image(s).
  5. Good use of table(s).
  6. Very good use of feature box(es).
  7. Good use of quiz(zes).
  8. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  1. ~3 logged, useful, minor/moderate/major social contributions with direct links to evidence.
  2. ~1 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:41, 4 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a good presentation.
  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  3. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.
  1. The presentation addresses the topic.
  2. An appropriate amount of content is presented.
  3. The presentation is well structured.
  4. The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research.
  6. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  7. The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information.
  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  1. The audio is easy to follow and interesting to listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio.
  3. Audio communication is clear and well paced.
  4. Very good intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is excellent.
  2. The presentation makes effective/good/basic use of text and image based slides using Powtoon.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. Some slides are a bit too busy/fast.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  6. The presentation is very well produced.
  1. The chapter title but not the sub-title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A written description of the presentation is not provided.
  3. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  4. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  1. Image sources are not acknowledged - presumably some but not all are from PowToon.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:50, 15 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

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