Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Peacefulness and well-being

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Dave Braunschweig in topic social contribution

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:27, 29 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Shaping up. Quick suggestions:

  1. Remove colons from headings
  2. Avoid sub-headings in Overview

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:27, 29 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

@U3151962: Just drawing your attention to the comments above. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:13, 30 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Great plan for your topic development! I found a great article that can give you ideas to continue with your topic development: What Is Your Sense Of Peace? (Psychology Today - 2016) Although it is not a peer reviewed journal, psychology today has articles that are easy to understand, and interesting to reflect on. I usually read them on Twitter to get a sense of topics in psychology and for entertainment/personal interest. :) --U3145293 (discusscontribs) 10:23, 1 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

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The link to your main video is missing.GwenFord (discusscontribs) 06:12, 28 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. OK, but the proposed chapter subtitle differs from that listed in the main book list of chapters. For now, I've changed the sub-title of the chapter to match the original listing: "What is the emotion of peacefulness, when does it occur, and what are its effects?". But feel free to email me to negotiate a new title and sub-title if you would like to focus e.g., on "Peacefulness and well-being: What are peaceful emotions and how do they effect well-being?"
  2. Use default heading style (e.g., no bold)

User page

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  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

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  1. Good
  2. 2nd link doesn't go to direct evidence

Section headings

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  1. Consider changing "Points to be addressed" to "Focus questions" - questions are more engaging
  2. Content about the brain is not directly linked to peacefulness and emotion
  1. Reasonably well developed 2-level heading structure.
  2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Firstly, make sure that the title and sub-title are clarified because everything follows from there.
  2. Consider changing "Points to be addressed" to "Focus questions" - questions are more engaging
  3. Consider expanding the description of peacefulness as an emotion (e.g., what is it from the perspectives of feeling, expression, physiological arousal, and purpose (e.g., the four aspects of emotion suggested by Reeve) and what are the biological and cognitive perspectives about peacefulness (e.g., see Reeve Ch 14). Also consider, what are the closest related emotions to peacefulness?
  4. Content about the brain is not directly linked to peacefulness and emotion
  5. Avoid overly long paragraphs - try expressing a single point in 3 to 5 sentences maximum.
  6. Focus the content more directly on peacefulness (e.g., only the last sentence of the Self-actualization theory" relates directly to peacefulness. For general background info, just provide a brief summary with an internal link to more info. That way the bulk of the chapter can focus on directly addressing the question in the sub-title.
  7. Avoid use of textbooks as primary references; instead consult and use original, peer-reviewed sources.
  8. APA style - direct quotes should also have page numbers.
  9. The "Positive emotion and well-being" could be improved by focusing in more detail on peacefulness. There are other chapters about positive psychology and interventions that can be linked to - which frees up room here for a greater focus on peacefulness. Some of the techniques described in the "Other techniques" section seem to be more directly related to peacefulness.
  10. There is an important academic literature on "peace psychology" which is not mentioned here. Although it has a slightly different emphasis (i.e., is more related to social peace rather than individual peace), it probably warrants some mention and investigation.

Image

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  1. Excellent

References

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  1. OK.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use correct italicisation
    3. Use dois where available rather than other URLs
    4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources

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  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 01:21, 23 September 2019 (UTC)Reply


  • A suggestion regarding the references:

Check capitalisation & Italics in journal titles and volumes (APA formating - UC referencing guide)

All the best! --U3145293 (discusscontribs) 00:23, 10 October 2019 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter. Whilst a lot of potentially relevant theory is covered (mostly positive psychological theories), the chapter could be improved by abbreviating much of this and linking to related resources, allowing for a greater focus on application to peace and emotion and related research. The review of research was the weakest aspect. There is a good emphasis on practical application.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
  1. Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the chapter is well written.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured..
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links.
    2. Limited to no use of interwiki links and embedded links to related book chapters.
    3. Good use of images. Well done on uploading your own image. Consider increasing some of the image display sizes, to make them easier to read.
    4. No use of tables. A table might be a nice way to map the connection between "peace" and different emotions.
    5. Good use of feature boxes.
    6. No use of quizzes.
    7. Good use of case studies or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
  6. APA style
    1. Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    2. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of commas, capitalisation, and brackets
    3. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation.
  1. 2 minor, logged contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:15, 8 November 2019 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. This presentation makes use of simple tools.
  1. There is a lack of sufficient focus on the topic; more general content is presented.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. Slide 2 focuses on a general description of emotion. But the topic is peaceful emotions and well-being. Given, the short-time frame, cut to the chase.
  4. Consider replacing Slide 2 with an overview of peaceful emotions and well-being.
  5. SA, SDT, and brain function are discussed - in general. But what the presentation should be focusing on is HOW these theories and related research help to understand the relationship between PE and WB.
  6. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives?
  1. The presentation is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation uses text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. The font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  5. The visual communication is supplemented by images.
  1. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality was good.
  3. Remove the distracting noise between slide transitions.
  4. Visual display quality was OK.
  5. Image sources and their copyright status are/not provided. Either acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description or remove the presentation.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  7. Apply a more appropriate category than "Gaming".
  8. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  9. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  10. A written description of the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:09, 20 November 2019 (UTC)Reply

social contribution

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--U3187314 (discusscontribs) 06:46, 30 August 2020 (UTC) 30/08/20 4.40pmReply

Just looking at the book chapter, it is similar to what I chose, looking at your book chapter and I thought it went into quiet a depth into the brain aspect of emotion. if you went into a further details about how peacefulness affects emotion and keep a focus on that it would have really made the chapter shine

@U3187314: Just checking. Are your social contributions supposed to be on the 2020 book, or can you also comment on the 2019 book for credit? -- Dave Braunschweig (discusscontribs) 00:42, 29 September 2020 (UTC)Reply
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