Talk:Motivation and emotion/Textbook/Motivation/Gambling

Feedback

Wow, I've only had a quick look but this is really shaping up fast - nice work. One very (very) minor tip:

1. APA style - 461 - 465 -> 461-465 (for pages numbers, there is no space before and after -).

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:59, 1 November 2010 (UTC)

Here's some more feedback, based on a closer review of your current draft:

1. Overall, currently, I'd say 75% done, probably CR-level - with potential for higher with some redrafting. Well done on getting a solid first draft up. Take or leave any of these suggestions - mostly they are about a bit of restructuring to improve overall flow and logic, with some APA style suggestions.
2. Include a brief definition of gambling in the Introduction (I realise an expanded definition is also in the glossary).
3. Gambling definition - the adopted definition seems to closely match the philosophical definition (I'm not sure of the distinction being made).
4. Good to see the Australian focus, but I'm curious as to how the connection between motivation and gambling differs cross-culturally - is there anything particularly unique about gambling in Australia? (It looks like the rest of the content is not specific to Australia; perhaps the Gambling in Australia section then could be put into a separate side-box/highlight box since it's not really part of the main narrative). Perhaps to give a greater focus on gambling research in Australia, focus on citing from key government and federal grant research findings in the area e.g., Uni of Western Sydney has been doing work in this area e.g., http://pubapps.uws.edu.au/news/index.phtml?act=view&story_id=1091, also see http://www.aph.gov.au/library/INTGUIDE/sp/gambling_ebrief.htm, http://www.olgr.nsw.gov.au/gaming_research_year.asp, http://www.pc.gov.au/projects/inquiry/gambling-2009, http://www.pc.gov.au/projects/inquiry/gambling-2009/report etc.
5. Motivation definition - maybe tailor this to a gambling context?
6. Emotion definition - this is a somewhat complex conceptualisation (the claim that it is the most holistic is a bit (overly?) bold?) - perhaps it could be simplified - the key point seems to be a conceptual difference between positive and negative emotions, both of which are triggered by gambling experiences.
7. APA style
   1. Use ampersands inside brackets for citations e.g., (Griffiths and Delfabbro, 2002) --> (Griffiths & Delfabbro, 2002) and if there is a subsequent citation of the same source within a paragraph, do not repeat the year, i.e., (Griffiths & Delfabbro).
   2. Citations in brackets should be in alphabetical order e.g., fix (Reeve, 2009; Chantral, Vallerand and Vallieres, 1995)
   3. et al -> et al.
   4. Cite all authors on first citation e.g., check Lee et al.
   5. Check that subsequent citations of references with three or more authors use first name and et al e.g., Chantral, Vallerand and Vallieres (1995) -> Chantral et al. (1995) after first citation of it with all authors.
   6. Avoid one-sentence paragraphs (usually a paragraph would be 3 to 5 sentences long)
8. Explain South Oaks Gambling Screen
9. What is problem gambling (perhaps explain in Introduction, Definitions - or it could be a Focus Question)?
10. Lee et al - what were the other three factors?
11. Maybe introduce the Focus Questions as part of the Introduction - and explain why these are important issues. Whet the reader's appetite - and then provide the more detailed answers.
12. The rest of the focus questions are reasonably well addressed. Other topics perhaps to consider include the relationship between personality and gambling (are some vulnerable?) and the psychology of risk-taking. You may also be interested to consider "gambling addiction" as distinct from or related to problem gambling. Some definitions of such distinctions could be useful.
13. Consider incorporating the "Extras" sections into the main body (they seem a bit disconnected/disjointed added here at the end).
14. Learning Aids - maybe rename as Review Questions - I like these; well done.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:43, 2 November 2010 (UTC)

Chapter feedback

This textbook chapter has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via login to the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see what editing changes I have made whilst reading through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below or continuing to improve the chapter if you wish. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. If you wish to dispute the marks, see the suggested marking dispute process.

Overall Overall, this is a CR-level chapter. It provides a reasonable explanation and review of motivational and emotional aspects of gambling behaviour. Some of the comments from the earlier feedback also apply to the final version (e.g., alphabetical ordering of citations) and what is the South Oaks Gambling Screen? Theory The rationale for the emphasis on intrinsic and extrinsic motivators was a little puzzling. I can see the intuitive appeal, but its not clear to me whether this is representative of the gambling literature or "because of the simplicity of the model" and personal preference? Whilst parsimony is desirable, we also want to avoid over-simplicity. The chapter does emphasise that there are multiple, complex motivators - presumably gamblers will typically exhibit a combination of intrinsic and extrinsic motivators? Good use of the I-E distinction was made between problem and non-problem gamblers, but I wasn't entirely clear how your preference for an I-E distinction related to the broader theoretical literature about gambling motivation. I realise that the chapter wasn't on problem gambling per se, but there was room to address this area more specifically. What is problem gambling? (This is never really described/defined). What is the prevalence of problem gambling? Are some types of gambling activity more attractive to problem gamblers? No mention of DSM-type classification and treatment approaches? What about a link to PGSI for self-testing? Regarding electronic gambling, I think it would be helpful to distinguish between club-based electronical gambling machines such as pokies vs. internet-based gambling which can be done from home, work or mobile. Gambling reinforces intermittently (not constantly) (Summary) Research Several useful, relevant gambling studies are cited although their results could probably have been explain in more depth (e.g. perhaps some summary tables of key results?). For research findings (e.g., correlations), consider reporting the size of the effect, not just whether or not it was statistically significant. Also make sure to indicate the direction of effects where a "link" or "relationship" is noted. Written expression Extras - these seem to be tacked on and should ideally have been better integrated into the main chapter structure or dropped e.g., "This section is of personal interest" needs a stronger justification for inclusion/integration than simply being of personal interest. Written expression was reasonable, although there were several places where clarity could have been improved with redrafting. There was overuse of directional comments such as "As has been stated above" (confusing for the reader - stated where?) - better to restate the point or if this is necessary to make a link to an earlier section, then provide an internal link. The chapter could have benefited from a stronger set of focus questions which were followed with greater discipline. Spelling, grammar and proofreading The chapter could have benefited from closer proofreading and probably another draft - see my edits for specific suggestions. Check singular/plural e.g., "If an individual has gambled before and experienced the emotional escape they desire," contains both singular (an individual) and plural (they) - should be one or the other. APA style APA style was reasonably good, but attention to detail and closer proofreading would have been desirable (see my edits). Images, whilst relevant, were not captioned. Do not cite the year for subsequent citations within a paragraph e.g., Smith (2010) but after that in the same paragraph only refer to Smith. et al -> et al.

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall 5 Overview Overall, this is a solid P-level presentation. It effectively overviews the chapter, but I found it a bit hard to mark out all the words (audio) and perhaps would have preferred to see greater focus on fewer points - what are the take-home messages from the chapter? The presentation closely follows the textbook chapter structure. Be careful not to mumble (especially at the end of sentences) - it sounds like maybe this was a laptop microphone which means slightly quieter and lower sound quality Probably too much focus on the extra features - could do this quite quickly and instead focus on really focusing on summarising the key points Good ending - allowing follow-up queries Content 6 Conclusion Audio 5 Video Meta-data 5 Licensing

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:52, 13 December 2010 (UTC)