Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2024/Sleep onset optimisation

Initial suggestions

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@U3202982Isabelle: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:27, 6 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Colons in headings

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@U3202982Isabelle: I suggest removing the colons from the end of the headings. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:47, 14 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Providing an idea

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Hey there,

This is a very interesting topic for your book chapter. i have always found sleep to be an interesting topic when it comes to psychology. One of the reasons i am so interested in sleep is because i suffer from sleep apnea myself, which brings me back to your book chapter. I was wondering if maybe physiological factors such as sleep apnea will affect sleep onset. I have found this paper which might be interesting for you to look at:

-Chervin, R. D., & Aldrich, M. S. (2000). Sleep onset REM periods during multiple sleep latency tests in patients evaluated for sleep apnea. American journal of respiratory and critical care medicine, 161(2), 426-431.https://www.atsjournals.org/doi/full/10.1164/ajrccm.161.2.9905071

Good luck with your book chapter and the rest of semester.

kind regards HassanAlsamara (discusscontribs) 22:59, 15 August 2024 (UTC)Reply

Topic development feedback

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The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is below, plus see the general feedback page. Please also check the page history for changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Marks are available via UCLearn. Marks are based on the latest version before the due date.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. Excellent – Well developed 2-level heading structure. Meaningful headings clearly relate directly to the core topic.
  2. Remove trailing colons
  3. Consider removing "The" from the start of headings
  4. Good alignment between focus questions and heading structure
  1. Excellent - Scenario, image, evocative description of the problem/topic, relevant psychological theory/research, and focus questions
  2. A scenario or case study is presented in a feature box at the start of this section
  3. Add an image to the scenario or case study to help attract reader interest
  4. A brief, evocative description of the problem/topic is provided
  5. Focus questions are aligned with sub-title and top-level headings
  6. Open-ended focus questions are usually better than closed-ended (e.g., yes/no) questions
  1. Partial development of key points for some sections
  2. Insufficient citation
  3. For sections which include sub-sections, include the key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  4. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  5. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research, with practical examples

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  1. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Hasn't been developed
  1. A relevant figure is presented, captioned, and cited
  1. One use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  2. Promising use of example(s)/case study(ies)
  3. Promising use of quiz question(s)
  4. Promising use of table(s)
  1. Excellent
  2. All references should be cited
  1. See also
    1. One of two links provided
  2. External links
    1. Not developed
  1. Excellent – used effectively
  2. Excellent description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  5. Link provided to book chapter (rename to make it more user-friendly)
  6. Add link to book chapter
  1. Excellent direct edits to improve pages
  2. Also try contributing a comment to a talk page and a link to a discussion post

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:46, 17 August 2024 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good presentation
  1. The opening could be improved by including a slide with the title and sub-title
  2. The presentation has a basic introduction to engage audience interest
  3. A context for the presentation is clearly established through an example
  4. It wasn't clear how the example illustrated a problem with sleep onset (it was more about sleep deprivation)
  5. Focus questions and/or an outline of topics are presented
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  4. The presentation makes reasonably good use of relevant psychological theory
  5. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research
  6. The presentation makes no use of citations to support claims
  7. The presentation makes very good use of examples
  8. The presentation provides useful practical advice
  9. The presentation provides easy to understand information
  1. The conclusion provides a very good summary of the most relevant psychological theory and research about this topic
  2. The conclusion provides excellent take-home message(s)
  1. The audio is easy to follow
  2. The presentation makes reasonably good use of narrated audio
  3. Audio communication is reasonably well-paced
  4. Good intonation
  5. The narration is reasonably well practiced and/or performed
  6. Audio recording quality was excellent
  7. The narrated content is well matched to the target topic
  1. Overall, visual display quality is reasonably good
  2. The presentation makes reasonably good use of animation
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. The watermarks make some text difficult to read
  5. There is a spelling error on the first slide
  6. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time
  7. The visual communication is supplemented in basic way by relevant images and/or diagrams
  8. The presentation is reasonably well produced using simple tools
  9. The visual content is well matched to the target topic
  1. The correct title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. This would help to convey the purpose of the presentation and be consistent.
  2. A very brief written description of the presentation is provided. Expand.
  3. Basic use of time codes
  4. An inactive hyperlink to the book chapter is provided (maybe because the YouTube user account doesn't have advanced features)
  5. A link from the book chapter is provided
  6. The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This creates limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info.
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not clearly indicated

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 10 November 2024 (UTC)Reply


Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter. It makes good use of psychological theory and research to address a real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. The main areas for potential improvement is to focus more directly on the topic (reduce background/related info) and to work within the maximum word count. In addition, the quality of written expression, particularly grammar and proofreading, is below professional standard
  3. Very good use of academic, peer-reviewed citations to support claims
  4. Under the maximum word count, so there is room to expand
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Solid
  2. Engages reader via a case study or scenario in a feature box; also include a relevant image
  3. Explains the psychological problem or phenomenon reasonably well
  4. Briefly explains the psychological problem or phenomenon; provide more detail
  5. The focus questions are basic
  6. The focus questions could be improved by:
    1. being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title)
    2. using open-ended rather than closed-ended
  1. A very good range of relevant theories are selected, described, and explained
  2. Reduce general theoretical background (e.g., about sleep). Instead, summarise and link to related resources (i.e., other book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles). Increase emphasis on substantive aspects of theory that relate directly to the specific topic (i.e., sleep onset optimisation).
  3. Builds reasonably well on other chapters and/or Wikipedia articles
  4. Very good depth is provided about relevant theory(ies)
  5. Basic use of tables, figures, and/or lists to help convey key theoretical information
  6. Key citations are well used
  7. Good use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts
  8. The examples could be improved by illustrating solutions (i.e., sleep onset optimisation)
  1. Reasonably good review of relevant research
  2. More detail about key sleep optimisation studies would be ideal
  3. Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area?
  4. Basic critical thinking about relevant research is evident
  5. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. considering the strength of relationships
    3. acknowledging limitations
    4. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. Very good integration between theory and research
  1. Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is OK but there are several aspects which are below professional standard
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences.
  2. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some/many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags)
      1. Consider using a grammar checking tool
      2. Another option is to use a services provided by UC, such as Studiosity
      3. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance
    2. Check and make correct use of commas
    3. Abbreviations
      1. Check and correct formatting of abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., etc.)
      2. Only use abbreviations such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc. inside parentheses, otherwise spell them out
  3. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard
  4. APA style
    1. Use sentence casing for the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    2. Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99)
    3. Figures
      1. There are two Figure 1s
      2. Briefly captioned; provide more detail to help connect the figure to the text
      3. Use this format for captions: Figure X. Descriptive caption goes here in sentence casing. See example.
      4. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., "(see Figure 1)"; do not use bold, italics, check and correct capitalisation).
    4. Tables
      1. Use APA style for captions (see example)
      2. Refer to each Table using APA style (e.g., do not use bold, talics, check and correct capitalisation)
    5. Citations use basic APA style (7th ed.). To improve:
      1. Multiple citations for a single point should be listed alphabetically in the same set of parentheses separated by a semi-colon; see example (Aardvark, 2020; Zebra & Yak, 2024)
    6. References use very good APA style:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[1]
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation
  1. Basic use of learning features
  2. Reasonably good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Very good use of figure(s)
  5. Basic use of table(s)
  6. Reasonably good use of feature box(es)
  7. Reasonably good use of scenarios, case studies, or examples
  8. Very basic use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s)
  9. The quiz questions could be improved by being more focused on the key points and/or take-home messages
  10. The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than as a set of questions at the end
  11. Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
  12. Not counted for marking purposes due to being over the maximum word count
  1. ~6 logged, useful, contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:08, 17 November 2024 (UTC)Reply

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