Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Testosterone and violent crime

Initial suggestions

@U3200902: Thanks for tackling this topic. Some initial suggestions:

• Check out other related chapters and see how you can build on, link to, and integrate with that work:
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Forensic
  • Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Hormones/Testosterone
• What psychological theories can help to understand? What is the main research in this area?

Let me know if I can do anything else as you go along. Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:16, 10 August 2023 (UTC)

Formatting Suggestions

Hello u3200902, interesting topic, I imagine this must have a wide breadth of research. As a formatting suggestion, I noticed some of your subheadings have multiple words capitalised. In APA these headings can be lowercase after the first word, e.g. 3.4 Aggravated Assault would just be Aggravated assault. Also, the images may benefit from being labelled as Figures, e.g. Figure 1. Hope this helps, have fun with the rest of the chapter. U3227759 (discuss • contribs) 12:41, 24 August 2023 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:02, 26 September 2023 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development submission has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history for editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded but not correctly formatted (capitalisation) Headings Promising 2-level heading structure Remove colons from the end of the headings See earlier comment about Heading casing Keep the earlier sections to a minimum to allow the chapter to focus on the later sections - this is where the money is Consider adopting closer alignment between the sub-title, focus questions, and top-level headings Overview Simplify/abbreviate - move detail into subsequent sections Put the scenario or case study into a feature box (with an image) at the start of this section to help catch reader interest. Remove italics. A description of the problem/topic is provided - keep it brief Present focus questions in a feature box at the end of this section Key points Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. This is a strong recommendation. Zoom in on "How is testosterone associated with violent crime?" and expand this section and reduce all the other sections. For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings Conclusion (the most important section): Well underway What might the take-home, practical messages be? (What are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?) Figure A relevant figure is presented Caption should include Figure X. ... Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Figure(s) are cited at least once in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text Learning feature Promising use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Promising use of example(s)/case study(ies) Consider including quiz question(s), table(s) etc. References OK Remove bullet-points Move non-academic / non-peer reviewed sources to External links Are there any systematic reviews about this topic? For APA referencing style, check and correct: alphabetical order capitalisation italicisation make doi hyperlinks active (i.e., clickable) Resources See also Very good Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links Should be more targetted - only include links directly related to the sub-title Target an international audience; Australians only represent 0.33% of the world population User page Insufficient Social contribution None summarised with direct link(s) to evidence – this was covered in Tutorial 03. Looking ahead to the book chapter submission, see how to earn marks for social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:02, 26 September 2023 (UTC)

Content suggestions

Hi there!

I've had a look at your chapter and it looks great so far - plenty of research, and you've laid it out in a really clear, easy to read manner. I did notice there was limited focus on the relationship between testosterone and violent crime, so I wanted to offer some suggestions of areas of research that may interest you.

There could be a few different ways to approach this. This article outlines some of the neural pathways and brain regions involved in aggression which are activated through the release of testosterone: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23843821/#:~:text=Testosterone%20activates%20the%20subcortical%20areas,testosterone%20to%20reduce%20its%20effects.

Further focus on gender differences could also be interesting. This article outlined how in women, the interplay between testosterone and cortisol seem to have a greater effect on aggression than testosterone alone: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5942158/

You could also look at exposure to testosterone in the prenatal environment and the links to offending behaviour. This isn’t a widely cited article but I thought it outlined some really interesting ideas about general and prenatal exposure to testosterone: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886920304712?casa_token=srAWVDGOCcMAAAAA:BadU68hxOpDUvDbHfuL3UR0P1PypHgIn-460VmQLnGN9SEng9FItIecCQDEJZgxW0DfD-HaRXDk

Also, because you’re discussing potentially upsetting topics such as rape and physical assault, you might want to consider adding a content or trigger warning. Motivation and emotion/Book/2023/Tragic optimism is a good example of how it was integrated into the page, and also providing a link to Lifeline.

Hope these suggestions help, good luck on the rest of your chapter! U3213084 (discuss • contribs) 06:36, 4 October 2023 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it is over the time limit The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation Create an engaging introduction to hook audience interest Establish a context for the presentation (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation somewhat addresses the topic This presentation could be improved by reducing the background information about testosterone and violent crime motivation as separate concepts and other definitional foci. Focus instead on the relationship between T and VC. Basically the presentation starts tackling the topic at 1:30 mins. There is too much content presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research Ideally, make more explicit use of research The presentation includes citations to support claims The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit Audio The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio Basic intonation Consider leaving longer pauses between sentences Audio recording quality was good The narrated content is reasonably well matched to the target topic (see content) Video Overall, visual display quality is basic The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides The font size could be larger to make it easier to read The amount of text presented per slide could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by images and/or diagrams Also consider using diagrams The presentation is basically produced using simple tools Hide the audio icon The usability of the presentation could be improved by exporting to a commonly used video hosting platform such as YouTube or Vimeo The visual content is reasonably well matched to the target topic (see content) but lacked synthesis of the best psychological research about this topic Meta-data The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Provide an informative description to help viewers decide whether they want to watch A link to the book chapter is not provided A link from the book chapter is provided The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This creates limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:55, 15 November 2023 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter The main area for potential improvement is focusing more directly on the topic Reasonably good use of academic, peer-reviewed citations to support claims Use of academic, peer-reviewed citations is lacking in some places (e.g., see the tags) Over the maximum word count. The content beyond 4,000 words has been ignored for marking purposes. For additional feedback, see the following comments and [ these copyedits] Overview Well developed/Solid/Reasonably good/Basic/Underdeveloped Engages reader interest by presenting a case study or scenario in a feature box Also include a relevant image in the case study or scenario feature box A basic explanation of the problem or phenomenon is provided Basic focus questions Theory Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory about this topic The chapter wanders off into discussion about irrelevant theory Builds reasonably well on related Wikipedia articles Build more strongly on related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) There is too much background theory that does not have enough direct relevance to the topic e.g., "Testosterone replacement therapy and testosterone abuse" and "What constitutes violent crime?". The content in these sections would only matter if the material can be shown to be directly related to the relationship between T and VC. Otherwise, summarise more briefly and provided embedded links to further information. The intrinsic/extrinsic motivation and crime, Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and power motivation material isn't relevant because it is not about testosterone. It is about motivation for violent crime which is not the topic. The topic starts to be addressed about half-way through in the section titled "How is testosterone associated with violent crime?" The topic really starts to be addressed with the sentence "Testosterone may increase aggressive behaviours, as it enhances activity in the amygdala when an individual perceives a threat." This is the beginning of two very useful paragraphs. However, the chapter then wanders off to discuss aggression and crime without any reference to testosterone, so this material isn't useful." The next useful material is in the section titled "Testosterone and incarceration" Insufficient depth is provided about relevant theory(ies) Use tables, figures, and/or lists are to help convey key theoretical information Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Basic use of examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Consider using more examples to illustrate theoretical concepts Research Insufficient review of relevant research More detail about key studies would be ideal Any systematic reviews or meta-analyses in this area? Insufficient use of academic, peer-reviewed citations (e.g., see the tags) Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags) Integration Insufficient integration between relevant theory and research Conclusion Very good summary and conclusion Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. UC Study Skills assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills Some paragraphs are overly long. Communicate one key idea per paragraph in three to five sentences. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking Layout The structure/layout could be improved Include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections (see tags) Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings See earlier comments about heading casing Grammar The grammar for some/many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags) Check and correct use of that vs. who Check and correct use of affect vs. effect Spelling Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour) Proofreading More proofreading is needed (e.g., fix punctuation and typographical errors) to bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard Remove unnecessary capitalisation APA style Use serial commas[1]. Video (1 min) Express numbers < 10 using words (e.g., two) and >= 10 and over using numerals (e.g., 99) Figures Figures are reasonably well captioned Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the topic Citations use correct APA style References use reasonably good APA style: Check and correct use of capitalisation[2] Check and correct use of italicisation Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section Learning features Reasonably good use of learning features Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text even more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s) No use of table(s) Basic use of feature box(es) Basic use of case studies or examples Basic use of quiz(zes) and/or reflection question(s) The quiz questions could be improved by being more focused on the key points and/or take-home messages The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than as a set of questions at the end Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Use alphabetical order Basic use of external links in the "External links" section Be more targetted and focused in selection of the most relevant links to the topic Use sentence casing Social contribution No logged social contributions

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:30, 16 November 2023 (UTC)