Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Unemployment and mental health

References

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Hi, It looks like you have a lot of references. Here are a few more that you might find useful.

Schunck, R. (2014). Estimating causal effects with longitudinal data : does unemployment affect mental health? SAGE Publications.

Backhans, M. C., & Hemmingsson, T. (2012). Unemployment and mental health--who is (not) affected? European Journal of Public Health, 22(3), 429–433. https://doi.org/10.1093/eurpub/ckr059

Artazcoz, L., Benach, J., Borrell, C., & Cortes, I. (2004). Unemployment and Mental Health: Understanding the Interactions Among Gender, Family Roles, and Social Class. American Journal of Public Health (1971), 94(1), 82–88. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.94.1.82

Huegaerts, K., Spruyt, B., & Vanroelen, C. (2018). Youth Unemployment and Mental Health: The Mediating Role of Embodiment. Societies (Basel, Switzerland), 8(2), 43–. https://doi.org/10.3390/soc8020043

Lam, J., & Ambrey, C. L. (2019). The Scarring Effects of Father’s Unemployment? Job-Security Satisfaction and Mental Health at Midlife. The Journals of Gerontology. Series B, Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 74(1), 105–112. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbx117

Buffel, V., Beckfield, J., & Bracke, P. (2017). The Institutional Foundations of Medicalization: A Cross-national Analysis of Mental Health and Unemployment. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 58(3), 272–290. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022146517716232

U3216256 (discusscontribs) 23:29, 25 August 2022 (UTC)Reply

Suggestions for this chapter

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Hello! Really good chapter so far. A small suggestion I would make is to use hyperlinks within your page. Some examples of where you could put hyperlinks in your page is when you mention locus of control, because a reader may be curious about this topic and want to find out more. You could even put a link on the Great Depression. Thought this suggestion could help! U3216389 (discusscontribs) 00:22, 14 October 2022 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. Excellent – used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Link(s) provided to professional profile(s), although it seems to be empty?
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. At least one contribution has been made and summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence
  2. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
  1. Overly complicated 3-level structure – consider simplifying
  2. Truncate or remove preliminary sections, so that the focus is on the relationship between unemployment and mental health
  3. Remove burnout. There is a separate chapter about this, so an embedded link can be provided to it if the concept is being discussed. Same with COVID.
  1. There is too much general content; focus directly on the topic.
  2. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. a brief, evocative description of the problem
    2. focus questions - only the 3rd one is directly related to the topic; consider removing the others and unpacking the relationship
    3. an image
    4. an example or case study
  4. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
  5. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Hasn't been developed
  1. A figure is presented
  2. Unclear how the figures relate to the relationship between unemployment and mental health
  3. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  1. OK
  2. Only use references that are directly related to the topic and which are academic peer-reviewed sources
  3. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:38, 3 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Formatting tips

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If you click edit source above you will be able to see what I'm talking about.

The reference list needs a little help because title of journals and volume numbers should be italicised. You can do this by putting these little marks on either side of the part that needs to be italicised note that you need to put them both on either side, eg Journal of X and that these are NOT quotation marks or inverted commas.. they are some other weird thing... just copy and paste them from this comment and it should work. :)

I also noticed that your figures have not been mentioned within the paragraphs of your chapter, so you should throw refences to the images eg (see Figure 4). Noah O'Brien (discusscontribs)

Heading casing

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:29, 1 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter due to the lack of sufficiently targetted focus on the topic.
  2. Internationalise, rather than focusing on Australia.
  3. The use of theory and research needs to be more specific and targetted to the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
  4. A more nuanced understanding of the relationship needs to emerge.
  5. This chapter "beats around the bush" for ~* words (i.e., too much preamble) before starting to directly tackle the target topic in the section titled "*"
  6. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter
  7. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits
  1. Basic Overview
  2. Internationalise
  3. Note that unemployment in Australia is at near-record lows (rather than increasing)
  4. Provides a basic explanation of the problem or phenomenon
  5. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest
  6. The first two focus question(s) aren't really needed (they are not key outcomes of the chapter); instead unpack the third question
  1. Internationalise; overly focused on Australian context (the question didn't specify a regional emphasis)
  2. There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question)
  3. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)
  1. There in insufficient depth about psychological theory which can help to understand the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
  2. There was some promising material that pointed out the relationship between unemployment and mental health is not straightfoward (e.g., being in a stressful job might be worse than being unemployed), but this nuance appeared to get lost as the chapter developed.
  3. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts
  1. Insufficient use of relevant psychological research
  2. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful
  1. Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags)
  1. Insufficient integration of relevant theory and research
  1. Basic summary
  2. Add practical, take-home message(s)
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic
    2. Use active (e.g., "this chapter explored") rather than passive voice (e.g., "this chapter has explored") [1][2]
    3. Internationalise: Write for an international, rather than domestic, audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
    4. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences
    5. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking
    6. "People" is often a better term than "individuals"
    7. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they)
    8. Reduce use of weasel words which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning
    9. Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten.
    10. Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. *) in science-based communication
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections
    2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
    3. See earlier comments about heading casing
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Check and make correct use of commas
    3. Check and correct use of that vs. who
    4. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect
  4. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.
    2. Figures
      1. Figures are well captioned
      2. Figure captions use the correct format
      3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1)
    3. Is this file really your own work? File:Https i.pinimg.com originals 4f 6a 0b 4f6a0be1c7a0d68184b6f8ce99b92513.jpg. I suspect not. If so, input this info as a table rather than an image.
    4. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. When citations are used in parentheses, a comma should be used to separate the author from the year
      2. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
        1. in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
        2. in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
      3. Do not include author initials
      4. Check and correct capitalisation
    5. Remove references which are not cited
    6. Move references to Wikipedia articles into the See also section
    7. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[3]
      2. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
  1. Remove bullet-points at the beginning of sections
  2. Overall, the use of learning features is basic
  3. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.

No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.

  1. Basic use of image(s)
  2. No use of table(s)
  3. Basic use of feature box(es)
  4. Poor use of quiz(zes). The quiz questions didn't focus on the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
  5. No use of case studies or examples
  6. Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
  7. Poor use of external links in the "External links" section (lack of direct relevance to target topic)
  1. ~1 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:29, 1 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because there is too much definitional material and insufficient focus on psychological theory and research about the relationship between unemployment and mental health
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes
  1. An opening slide with the title is displayed, but not narrated. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has a basic visual introduction to engage audience interest. Why not narrate as well?
  3. Establish a context for the topic, to help the viewer understand
  4. Briefly explain why this topic is important
  5. Focus questions are presented
  6. Check and correct grammar for focus questions
  1. The presentation somewhat addresses the topic
  2. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  3. Overemphasis on definition of employment - not relevant for a short presentation about the relationship between unemployment and mental health
  4. Overemphasis on definition of mental health
  5. Address an international audience (Australia is only .3% of the world population)
  6. The topic starts to be address at approx. 1 min
  7. Replace segment about attribution theory with an expanded summary of the best available psychological research about the relationship between unemployment and mental health. Consider using separate slides for each of the studies.
  8. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory
  9. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research
  10. The presentation includes citations
  11. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies
  1. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit
  1. The start of the audio is weird - it only consists of "Have you ever wondered?" for the first 13 seconds.
  2. Audio tone/volume varies between slides
  3. Check and correct grammar (e.g., that vs who) and pronunciation (e.g., Seligman; efficacy)
  4. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio
  5. Audio communication is well paced
  6. Basic intonation
  7. The audio communication could benefit from further practice
  8. Audio recording quality was OK. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides
  3. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read
  4. The amount of text presented per slide should be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time
  5. The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams
  6. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools
  7. Hide the audio icon
  1. The correct chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the presentation description but not in the meta-data

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:00, 8 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent/very good/reasonably good/basic presentation
  2. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because ...
  3. The presentation is under the maximum time limit, so there was room for further development of the ideas
  4. The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes
  1. An opening slide with a different version of the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated
  2. This presentation could be improved by displaying and narrating a slide with the same title and sub-title as the book chapter to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation
  3. Focus questions are presented verbally. Also consider using the visual medium to communicate the presentation's focus questions.
  4. Establish a context for the topic (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  4. The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion)
  5. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory
  6. The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological research (especially the meta-analysis). What was the size of the relationship between U and ME?
  7. The presentation includes citations to support claims
  8. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies
  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic summary
  2. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives based on the best available psychological theory and research about this topic?
  1. The audio is easy to follow and interesting to listen to
  2. Audio communication is reasonably well paced
  3. Good intonation
  4. The narration is well practiced and/or performed
  5. Audio recording quality was good
  6. Check and correct pronunciation for "Seligman"
  1. Overall, visual display quality is very good
  2. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. Some of the font size could be larger to make it easier to read
  5. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time
  6. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams
  7. The presentation is well produced using simple tools
  1. The video title does not match the chapter title and sub-title — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and be more consistent
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access
  4. A link from the book chapter is provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:55, 23 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

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