Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hi,
It looks like you have a lot of references. Here are a few more that you might find useful.
Schunck, R. (2014). Estimating causal effects with longitudinal data : does unemployment affect mental health? SAGE Publications.
Backhans, M. C., & Hemmingsson, T. (2012). Unemployment and mental health--who is (not) affected? European Journal of Public Health, 22(3), 429–433. https://doi.org/10.1093/eurpub/ckr059
Artazcoz, L., Benach, J., Borrell, C., & Cortes, I. (2004). Unemployment and Mental Health: Understanding the Interactions Among Gender, Family Roles, and Social Class. American Journal of Public Health (1971), 94(1), 82–88. https://doi.org/10.2105/AJPH.94.1.82
Huegaerts, K., Spruyt, B., & Vanroelen, C. (2018). Youth Unemployment and Mental Health: The Mediating Role of Embodiment. Societies (Basel, Switzerland), 8(2), 43–. https://doi.org/10.3390/soc8020043
Lam, J., & Ambrey, C. L. (2019). The Scarring Effects of Father’s Unemployment? Job-Security Satisfaction and Mental Health at Midlife. The Journals of Gerontology. Series B, Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 74(1), 105–112. https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbx117
Buffel, V., Beckfield, J., & Bracke, P. (2017). The Institutional Foundations of Medicalization: A Cross-national Analysis of Mental Health and Unemployment. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 58(3), 272–290. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022146517716232
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hello! Really good chapter so far. A small suggestion I would make is to use hyperlinks within your page. Some examples of where you could put hyperlinks in your page is when you mention locus of control, because a reader may be curious about this topic and want to find out more. You could even put a link on the Great Depression. Thought this suggestion could help! U3216389 (discuss • contribs) 00:22, 14 October 2022 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.
At least one contribution has been made and summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence
Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
There is too much general content; focus directly on the topic.
Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
Overview - Consider adding:
a brief, evocative description of the problem
focus questions - only the 3rd one is directly related to the topic; consider removing the others and unpacking the relationship
an image
an example or case study
Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
If you click edit source above you will be able to see what I'm talking about.
The reference list needs a little help because title of journals and volume numbers should be italicised. You can do this by putting these little marks on either side of the part that needs to be italicised note that you need to put them both on either side, eg Journal of X and that these are NOT quotation marks or inverted commas.. they are some other weird thing... just copy and paste them from this comment and it should work. :)
I also noticed that your figures have not been mentioned within the paragraphs of your chapter, so you should throw refences to the images
eg (see Figure 4). Noah O'Brien (discuss • contribs)
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is an insufficient chapter due to the lack of sufficiently targetted focus on the topic.
Internationalise, rather than focusing on Australia.
The use of theory and research needs to be more specific and targetted to the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
A more nuanced understanding of the relationship needs to emerge.
This chapter "beats around the bush" for ~* words (i.e., too much preamble) before starting to directly tackle the target topic in the section titled "*"
Internationalise; overly focused on Australian context (the question didn't specify a regional emphasis)
There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question)
Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters)
There in insufficient depth about psychological theory which can help to understand the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
There was some promising material that pointed out the relationship between unemployment and mental health is not straightfoward (e.g., being in a stressful job might be worse than being unemployed), but this nuance appeared to get lost as the chapter developed.
More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts
"People" is often a better term than "individuals"
Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they)
Reduce use of weasel words which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning
Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten.
Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. *) in science-based communication
Layout
Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Basic use of image(s)
No use of table(s)
Basic use of feature box(es)
Poor use of quiz(zes). The quiz questions didn't focus on the relationship between unemployment and mental health.
No use of case studies or examples
Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section
Poor use of external links in the "External links" section (lack of direct relevance to target topic)
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because there is too much definitional material and insufficient focus on psychological theory and research about the relationship between unemployment and mental health
The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes
An opening slide with the title is displayed, but not narrated. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
This presentation has a basic visual introduction to engage audience interest. Why not narrate as well?
Establish a context for the topic, to help the viewer understand
Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
Overemphasis on definition of employment - not relevant for a short presentation about the relationship between unemployment and mental health
Overemphasis on definition of mental health
Address an international audience (Australia is only .3% of the world population)
The topic starts to be address at approx. 1 min
Replace segment about attribution theory with an expanded summary of the best available psychological research about the relationship between unemployment and mental health. Consider using separate slides for each of the studies.
The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory
The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research
The presentation includes citations
The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies
The correct chapter title and sub-title are missing from the name of the presentation — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
An opening slide with a different version of the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated
This presentation could be improved by displaying and narrating a slide with the same title and sub-title as the book chapter to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation
Focus questions are presented verbally. Also consider using the visual medium to communicate the presentation's focus questions.
Establish a context for the topic (e.g., by using an example or explaining why it is important), to help the viewer understand
Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
The presentation addresses the topic
An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion)
The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory
The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological research (especially the meta-analysis). What was the size of the relationship between U and ME?
The presentation includes citations to support claims
The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies
A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic summary
What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives based on the best available psychological theory and research about this topic?
The video title does not match the chapter title and sub-title — this would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation and be more consistent
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
A link to the book chapter is provided but the hyperlink isn't active to allow 1-click access