Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Perfectionism

Topic development feedback

Hi there, it looks like you're making great progress. I have made some minor grammatical changes that I hope improve the clarity of some sections. I also wondered whether your third SDT paragraph should read "Harvey et al. (2015) researched how the two forms of perfectionism were linked to university students' motivation to pursue academic goals during a semester. Their results demonstrated that perfectionistic concerns were significantly positively related to autonomous motivation"? Good luck with the rest of your chapter. U3141987 (discuss • contribs) 01:31, 10 October 2022 (UTC)

Hi there, thankyou for your feedback. You were definitely right re: the Harvey et al. (2015) observation, thankyou! I ended up having too many words so have had to delete that section. I appreciate the time you put into reading my chapter! Many thanks AEMOR (discuss • contribs) 23:18, 12 October 2022 (UTC)

Hi, I feel that maybe the definition of perfectionism could be expanded. For instance how it manifests in people differently. - U3216502

Hello!

I was reading through your plan so far for the topic development, it all sounds really good and its clear you've done thorough research, great work! I did have a suggestion that perhaps after the sections involving theory at the start of the chapter, maybe you could put a short quiz in there? I just know as a uni student that theory can be a lot to read through sometimes so a quiz might break up the information and keep the reader engaged.

Best of luck! Sophia246 (discuss • contribs) 12:50, 28 August 2022 (UTC)

Hi there,

Thankyou for your suggestion, I think that's a great idea! I have now added a quiz in my book chapter AEMOR (discuss • contribs) 23:16, 12 October 2022 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted User page Good Brief description about self provided – consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence Headings Excellent – Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic Remove author names from headings Key points Excellent – key points are well developed, with relevant citations Overview - Consider adding: an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered focus questions an image an example or case study There seems to be lots of coverage of theory, however, strive to balance the content with critical review of relevant research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Consider including more examples/case studies Conclusion (the most important section): Hasn't been developed What might the take-home, practical messages be? In a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions? Figure Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned Cite each figure at least once in the main text References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: italicisation doi formatting Resources See also Not developed External links Not developed

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:43, 2 October 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a contemporary phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Solid Overview. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon. An example or case study could be useful to help engage interest. Self-reflection questions are useful. But focus question(s) are different and would be good to include. Theory – Breadth Relevant theories are reasonably well selected, described, and explained. Useful coverage of multidimensional models of perfectionism; this could be expanded. Jump to SDT is sudden; provide more linkage. The needs material seemed to be less clearly related to perfectionism. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters). Theory – Depth Appropriate depth is provided about most of the selected theory(ies). Ideally, provide more depth about the aspects of the multidimensional models. Key citations are well used. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research – Key findings Relevant research is well reviewed. More detail about key studies would be ideal. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research – Critical thinking Very good critical thinking about research is evident. Incorrect use of "exponential" (removed) Claims are referenced. Integration Discussion of theory and research is well integrated. Indepth details about the measurement scales wasn't needed; focus more on the dimensions themselves. Conclusion Key points are well summarised. Basic summary. Consider reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest. Summarise key points. Insufficient as a cohesive summary of what the best available psychological theory and research has to say about the topic. Address the focus questions. Clear take-home message(s). Add practical, take-home message(s). Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. "People" is often a better term than "individuals". Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Grammar Use serial commas[1] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min). Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats'). APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures Figures are very well used. Figure captions use the correct format. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style. Tables Table captions should use APA style. See example. Tables are referred to using APA style. Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text. Citations use correct APA style. References use correct APA style. Written expression – Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is excellent. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s). Excellent use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Good use of case studies or examples. Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section. Excellent use of external links in the "External links" section. Social contribution ~11 logged, useful, moderate to very extensive social contributions with mostly direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:31, 30 October 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent presentation Overview Display and narrate a slide with the title and sub-title to help the viewer understand the purpose of the presentation This presentation has an engaging introduction to hook audience interest Focus questions are presented Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic The presentation is well structured (i.e., Overview, Content, Conclusion) The presentation makes excellent use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations Include citations The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with clear take-home message(s) Audio The audio is easy to follow and interesting to listen to The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio Excellent intonation enhances listener interest and engagement The narration is well polished Audio recording quality was excellent Video Overall, visual display quality is excellent The presentation makes effective use of animated slides The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read The amount of text presented per slide could be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time e.g., split motivators of perfectionism into separate slides The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams The presentation is very well produced Meta-data The chapter title and sub-title (or an abbreviation to fit within the 100 character limit) are used in the name of the presentation — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation A written description of the presentation is provided Links to and from the book chapter are provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated A copyright license for the presentation is provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:09, 9 November 2022 (UTC)