Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Death drive

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted User page Excellent – used effectively Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence Headings Promising 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure Avoid having sections with only 1 sub-heading – use 0 or 2+ sub-headings Consider providing more detail in some of the headings e.g., history – of what? Key points Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations Some history will be useful to the extent that it helps to explain the DD and how it can be negotiated; but don't just have history for its own sake Overview - Consider adding: an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered focus questions – I think the questions 3 and 4 may be more or less the same thing? an image an example or case study Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research. I suspect there is plenty of theory, but less research. Nevertheless, provide a balance. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Excellent use of examples/case studies Conclusion (the most important section): Underway Figure Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned Cite each figure at least once in the main text References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: italicisation doi formatting Resources See also Excellent External links Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:16, 27 September 2022 (UTC)

Book chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter The main issue is the lack of original writing about the topic due to an overreliance on direct quotes and possibly plagiarised material For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits Overview Basic Overview Explains the problem or phenomenon Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest Reasonably clear focus question(s) Theory – Breadth DD theory background is well described Kernberg (2009) is overused This chapter then deviates into a sudden focus on a few psychological disorder with too little connection to the topic Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters) Theory – Depth Good depth is provided for background DD theory Insufficient relevant depth is provided beyond this Tables and/or lists are used to help clearly convey key theoretical information More everyday examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts Research – Key findings Insufficient use of relevant psychological research Research – Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about relevant research is evident Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by: describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies discussing the direction of relationships considering the strength of relationships acknowledging limitations pointing out critiques/counterarguments suggesting specific directions for future research Integration Insufficient integration of relevant theory and research Conclusion Basic summary Consider reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest Add practical, take-home message(s) Written expression – Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. UC Study Skills assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills Internationalise: Write for an international, rather than domestic, audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences Direct quotes are over-used Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Check and make correct use of commas Check and correct use of possessive apostrophes (e.g., cats vs cat's vs cats')[1] Use serial commas[2] – they are part of APA style and agenerally recommended by grammaticists. See explanatory video (1 min) Check and correct use of that vs. who Check and correct use of affect vs. effect Spelling Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. APA style Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc. Direct quotes need page numbers Figures Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1) Citations use correct APA style References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[3] Check and correct use of italicisation Written expression – Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is basic Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Basic use of image(s) No use of table(s) Very good/ use of feature box(es) No use of quiz(zes) Basic use of case studies or examples. Consider including some every day examples. Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section Basic use of external links in the "External links" section Social contribution ~8 logged, useful, minor social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:48, 1 November 2022 (UTC)

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation The presentation is over the maximum time limit — content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation A context for the topic is established Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. This will help to focus and discipline the presentation. Content Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section The presentation addresses the topic Overly focused on psychopathology rather than death drive as a general motivation in everyday life There is too much content because the presented goes over the maximum time The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research The presentation includes citations The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies Conclusion What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives based on the best available psychological theory and research about this topic? Most of the conclusion did not fit within the time limit Audio The audio is easy to follow The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio Audio communication is reasonably well paced. It is little rushed because too much content was presented. Good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement Audio recording quality was excellent Video Overall, visual display quality is good The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read The amount of text presented per slide should be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time. It would be better to summarise more briefly in your own words than use long quotes The visual communication is supplemented in a basic way by images and/or diagrams The presentation is basically produced using simple tools Meta-data The chapter sub-title but not the chapter title is used in the name of the presentation. The title would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is not provided A link to the book chapter is not provided A link from the book chapter is provided Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Either provide details about the image sources and their copyright licenses in the presentation description or remove the presentation. This presentation has probably violated the copyrights of image owners as images appear to have been used without permission and/or acknowledgement A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:43, 7 November 2022 (UTC)