Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Pleasure and sexual motivation

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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From u3187741: Hi! You've got some great references and internal links so far but you may want to add this book chapter as well, as it covers a similar topic to yours!

Hi! I have just had a look at your page and I am really interested in your topic. I just wanted to suggest that defining sex as the act rather than the reproductive trait may be useful, as it is unclear in your overview that you are referring to sexual intercourse. I didn't want to edit this in, in case you didn't agree! Good luck :) Rani u3190257

Heading casing

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:56, 14 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. Wording of the sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence
  2. Great to see you on Twitter - include #emot21 with unit-related Twitter posts
  3. Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
  1. Promising 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development by expanding the structure. Concentrate on "the role of pleasure and sexual motivation" (i.e., bring these two concepts together rather than talking about them separately).
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings
  3. See earlier comment about Heading casing
  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. Perhaps consider questions such as: What is the source of sexual pleasure? (e.g., to what extent is it physiological vs. psychological?) Why do we experience sexual pleasure? When don't we experience sexual pleasure (and why)? What role does sexual pleasure play in well-being and happiness? etc. What are the downsides of sexual pleasure (e.g., sex obsession/addiction? sexual predatory behaviour? sexual objectification?). How can sexual pleasure be enhanced?
  3. Reeve (2018) is not a primary source - but it can be used to help track down primary sources of interest
  4. Check and remove extra spaces
  5. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  6. Use British/Australian spelling (e.g., analyze -> analyse; behavior -> behaviour)
  7. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  8. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. focus questions
    2. an image
    3. an example or case study
  9. Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
  10. Consider including more examples/case studies
  11. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. underway
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?
  1. A figure is presented
  2. Caption should include Figure X. ...
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  4. Consider decreasing image size
  1. Excellent
  2. Check and correct capitalisation (APA style)
  1. See also
    1. Excellent
    2. Use alphabetical order
  2. External links
    1. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    2. Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:56, 14 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Well under/over the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Well developed Overview.
  2. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon.
  3. Clear focus question(s).
  4. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  3. Build more strongly on other sexual motivation-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Sexual motivation).
  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Consider using tables and/or lists are used to help clearly convey key theoretical information.
  3. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.
  4. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts.
  1. Basic overview of relevant research.
  2. More detail about key studies would be ideal.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Basic critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. There is basic integration between theory and research.
  1. Useful summary.
  2. Add practical, take-home message(s).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is very good.
    2. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in parentheses at the end of the sentence.
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
    2. See earlier comments about heading casing.
  3. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  4. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    2. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside parentheses and "and" outside parentheses.
    3. Check and correct formatting (e.g., Boul et al.,(2008) -> Boul et al. (2008)).
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of italicisation
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is very good.
  2. One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  4. Basic use of image(s).
  5. No use of table(s).
  6. Excellent use of feature box(es).
  7. Excellent use of quiz(zes).
  8. Excellent use of interwiki links in the "See also" section.
  9. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section.
  10. Very good use of case studies or examples.
  1. Use numbered list
  2. ~6 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.
  3. Tweets that are retweets without the #emot21 hashtag haven't been counted for marking purposes

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:33, 14 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes.
  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  3. Focus questions are presented.
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content.
  4. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research.
  6. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with basic take-home message(s).
  2. The Conclusion only partly fitted within the time limit.
  1. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio.
  2. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. Basic intonation. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  4. Audio recording quality was basic. The audio is quiet. Probably an on-board microphone was used. Consider using an external microphone.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is good.
  2. The presentation makes good use of text and image based slides.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. The amount of text presented for some slides makes it easy to read and listen at the same time.
  5. The amount of text presented for some slides should be reduced to make it easier to read and listen at the same time.
  6. The visual communication is supplemented by images and/or diagrams.
  7. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools.
  1. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the name of the presentation - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.
  1. Image sources are communicated. Copyright statuses are not communicated.
  2. Ideally, provide clickable links to the original image sources (e.g., in the description).
  3. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:10, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

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