Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Pity

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted User page Created - minimal, but sufficient Very brief description about self provided - consider expanding Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Summarised with link(s) to evidence If adding the second or subsequent links to page, provide a direct link like this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Use a numbered list Headings Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure It makes logical sense to use the sub-title questions as top-level headings. Consider further development of sub-headings in those sections. Key points Overview - missing Basic development of key points for each section Citations lacking Conclusion - missing Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Figure A figure is presented Caption uses APA style Caption should include Figure X. ... Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text Consider decreasing image size References Use peer-review academic journal articles For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation Resources See also OK Also link to relevant book chapters External links Very good

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:40, 18 September 2021 (UTC)

Hi! I really like what you've got so far! here is a Ted Talk on self-compassion I felt was really relevant to self-pity : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11U0h0DPu7k I hope you like it!

Editing

Hello, I linked a concept to a wikipedia page and fixed a sentence error --Brianna Meddemmen (discuss • contribs) 13:31, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:46, 13 November 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. I suspect that the recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours were not invested in preparing this chapter. Well under the maximum word count. The main areas for potential improvement are: More indepth use of relevant psychological theory More indepth review of psychological research For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview The Overview is underdeveloped. Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail. Clear focus question(s). Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest. Theory — Breadth Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic. The chapter focuses on self-pity, but the topic is more broad (pity). Self-pity could be used as one section or a case study, but should not be the primary focus of the chapter. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Empathy). Theory — Depth Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory. Research — Key findings Insufficient use of relevant psychological research. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Many claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Integration Insufficient integration of theory and research. Conclusion Basic summary. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. Grammar Check and correct use of affect vs. effect. Check and correct use of that vs. who. APA style Only provide references which are cited. Only provide references to peer-reviewed academic publications. ### Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[2] Check and correct use of italicisation "Retrieved from" is no longer used (APA style, 7th ed.) Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Include hyperlinked dois Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is insufficient. One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Insufficient use of relevant image(s). No use of table(s). Inadequate use of feature box(es) - they are mostly too narrow. Basic use of quiz(zes). Good use of case studies. More examples would be helpful to illustrate key points. Social contribution ~1 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:46, 13 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation. The presentation is under the maximum time limit. Overview Opening slides with the title and sub-title are presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Focus questions are presented in the form of the sub-title. Content Unlike the book chapter (which is about self-pity) this presentation is about the target topic (pity). The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. No citations are used. There is no evidence that this presentation is based on understanding relevant psychological theory and research. Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with basic take-home message(s). The audio cuts off. Audio The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio. Audio communication is well paced. Basic intonation. The presentation lacks the polish that comes with practice. Audio recording quality was OK. Probably an on-board microphone was used (e.g., quiet, tinny, white noise, keyboard/mouse clicks audible). Consider using an external microphone. Audio cuts off on the last slide. Video Overall, visual display quality is basic. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools. Hide the presentation tools (they are distracting and cover up some of the content. No citations are used. Meta-data The correct wording for the title/sub-title is not used. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is not provided. I've added it. The presentation is incorrectly categorised as being for kids. This introduces limitations, such as being unable to add the presentation to a playlist. More info. Licensing Image sources are communicated in a general way. Also provide links to each image and the license details. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:26, 20 November 2021 (UTC)

Suggestion

Hello,

I enjoyed reading through your topic, however, when you make claims you need to include a reference. Adding references would greatly support what you are conveying, as well as showing the effort you put in to research the topic which for me seemed apparent as you had a lot of good things to say.

(~~~ = U3203414) Lewis.Kusk (discuss • contribs) 04:53, 15 October 2022 (UTC)