Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Optimism and psychological well-being

Latest comment: 3 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comment

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Hey there, I had a look at your book chapter and it looks very interesting so far! I have provided a definition of optimism and a supporting reference --BlueDreams55 (discusscontribs) 13:06, 26 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. Excellent
  1. Created - minimal, but sufficient
  2. Very basic description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Good on you for having a crack at being bold and making social contributions. As mentioned on your user talk page, however, I think this edit involved changes that weren't necessarily all helpful - so they were rolled back - it would probably be better in this case to make suggestions on the page's discussion. The best contribution is probably the third because a direct link is provided to comments made on a discussion page.
  1. Promising, but overly complicated 4-level structure - consider simplifying.
  2. The most important section is #4 because it is the only one directly addressing the topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
  1. Overall, key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. Key points are lacking at the beginning of sections which branch into sub-sections.
  3. Overview - Consider:
    1. describing the "problem"
    2. expanding around the 3rd focus question and reducing focus on other areas
    3. adding an image
    4. adding an example or case study
  4. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings.
  5. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  7. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  8. Promising/interesting research is cited in relation to the relationship between O and PWB. Build out from here (e.g., what theory is relevant to understanding this relationship; what are the implications etc.)
  9. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title?
  1. A figure is presented.
  2. Caption should include Figure X. (in italics) ...
  3. Caption explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  1. Very good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. doi formatting
  1. Very good
  2. Use bullet-points

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:14, 3 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Suggestion

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Hey! As someone who values optimism a lot In my personal life, this is a really interesting topic to me, I was doing some reading and I noticed that you haven't had a look at this really interesting article, give it a read and see what you think https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jopy.12026 --U3202984 (discusscontribs) 12:05, 15 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Well under the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Solid Overview.
  2. Explains the problem or phenomenon.
  3. Reasonably clear focus question(s).
  4. Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image.
  5. Unclear how the case study relates to optimism and well-being.
  1. Relevant theory is reasonably well explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  3. Build more strongly on other optimism-related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Optimism).
  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.
  3. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts.
  1. Relevant research is reviewed.
  2. The description of research could be improved by providing plain English summary.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Basic critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. There is basic integration between theory and research.
  1. Key points are well summarised.
  2. Clear take-home message(s).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
    2. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
    3. Rather than direct quotes, it is usually better to communicate concepts in your own words.
    4. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet-points into full paragraph format.
    5. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    6. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min).
    3. Abbreviations
      1. Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor terms that aren't used very much in the chapter.
      2. Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.).
      3. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  5. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    4. Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words.
    5. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
    6. Figures and tables
      1. Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example.
    7. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. Check and correct punctuation (e.g., Adler et al., (2017, p. 118) -> Adler et al. (2017, p. 118))
    8. References use correct APA style.
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is good.
  2. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  3. Basic use of image(s).
  4. No use of table(s).
  5. Excellent use of feature box(es).
  6. Good use of quiz(zes).
  7. Good use of case studies or examples. Ideally, demonstrate how positive strategies can be used to influence optimism and well-being.
  1. ~4 logged, useful, minor/moderate/major social contributions with direct links to evidence.
  2. ~4 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:56, 13 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent presentation.
  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has a very engaging introduction to hook audience interest  .
  3. A context for the topic is established.
  4. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  5. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  4. The presentation is well structured.
  5. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory. The neuroscience could be simplified for a general audience. This could allow more space for discussing relevant psychological research and provide examples.
  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with excellent take-home message(s).
  1. The audio is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio.
  3. Audio communication is clear and well paced.
  4. Excellent intonation enhances listener interest and engagement.
  5. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is very good.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides, with text and images.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time. Perhaps the amount of text on the Conclusion slide could be reduced.
  5. The presentation is very well produced.
  1. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the name of the presentation - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Probably the images are all from PowToon but this is not explicitly stated.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:28, 19 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

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