Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Optimism and physical health

Heading casing

Hi AP269. FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:00, 24 August 2021 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi there!

Wow! Your book chapter is amazing, and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! Congrats on the work you have put into it so far! I do have a quick pointer that I hope is helpful before submission. You seem to have substantially gone over the word count. Remember that the word count includes your references, and not just the body of the chapter: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter . To make your writing more concise, you might consider giving your writing a flat tone. For example, you could remove the word 'truly' in your first paragraph, and it would still read well.

I hope these points help, and you have a rewarding end of semester!

U3202904 (discuss • contribs) 08:16, 14 October 2021 (UTC)

Hey, your book chapter looks incredible! Here's a couple references that may be useful for your unrealistic optimism section; Sharot, T. (2011). The optimism bias. Current Biology, 21(23), 941-R945. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cub.2011.10.030, Sharot, T., Korn, C., & Dolan, R. (2011). How unrealistic optimism is maintained in the face of reality. Nature Neuroscience, 14(11), 1475-1479. https://doi.org/10.1038/nn.2949 Good luck with it! --U3187208 (discuss • contribs) 01:22, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title Excellent User page Very good - although it reads like a cut and paste from somewhere else Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing. Use default heading formatting (e.g., avoid bold, italics, underline etc.). Well developed, mostly 2-level heading structure. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. Key points This chapter plan is probably already over the maximum word count, so be ruthless, focused, and disciplined in selecting what to include and what to exclude. The litmus test is - does it help to answer the question (i.e., the subtitle)? Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style). Overview: focuses on optimism but not so much on optimism and physical health a description of the problem and what will be covered Consider adding: an image an example or case study Keep sections 2 and 3 relatively brief (i.e., avoid providing too much background information). Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title i.e., section 4. Avoid overly focusing on COVID - the chapter needs to stand up over time, so don't overfocus on current, rapidly changing circumstances, especially when the topic doesn't require it. The relationship between optimism and physical health in the context of COVID, however, could be used as a case study. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings. Well done on include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of at least one key term to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. The relationship between optimism and biomarkers, immunosuppression, and treatment adherence are all very promising and probably sufficient to carry this chapter. Maybe also consider optimism and longevity. Be wary of delving too far into subjective well-being as it is not really "physical health". The section on coping is promising. Providing theoretical explanation for the relationships identified by research between optimism and physical health is the holy grail for this chapter . I wonder whether adherence is an explanatory factor too, rather than an outcome? Perhaps consider whether physical health could be improved by enhancing optimism. Avoid overcapitalisation (APA style) - more info Conclusion (the most important section): hasn't been developed Figure Excellent uses APA style. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Very good Just use wiki style or APA style for citations and references - not both Resources Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:50, 31 August 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a good to very good chapter. As pointed out twice above, this chapter is well over the maximum word count, therefore most of the references and all the external links have been ignored for marking purposes. There is other feedback about the topic development that has been ignored, so it is not repeated in these book chapter comments. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Reasonably solid Overview. How is the Gibran quote related to optimism and health? The focus questions could be more focused on optimism and health. Theory — Breadth Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained. Refer to optimism/pessimism (i.e., traits) rather than optimists/pessimists (i.e., types) because most research uses the former. This could help to improve the clarity of sentences such as: "However, generally optimists are correlated to being more physically healthy than pessimists, which can be noted within biomarkers such as lower blood pressure and cortisol levels, faster cardiovascular recovery, reductions in chronic cardiovascular inflammation markers (such as interleukin-6 and homocysteine) and improved homeostasis." The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory, although the initial background about optimism/pessimism could be abbreviated - summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). Theory — Depth Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies). The second paragraph in the optimism vs pessimism section is quite abstract. How does this relate to health? Key citations are well used. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts. Research — Key findings Relevant research is reviewed and discussed. Expand on statements such as: "Dispositional optimism has also been related to better health outcomes, such as fewer physical health complaints, fewer influenza symptoms and better long-term and short-term recovery (Tomakowsky et al., 2001)." and reduce background detail about optimism as a stand-alone concept. How are the names of optimism measures relevant to understanding the impact of optimism on health? Research — Critical thinking Critical thinking is evidenced by: discussing the direction of relationships, including some detail about methodologies, and providing some consideration of the strength of observed relationships, although this could be strengthened. Integration Discussion of theory and research is well integrated. Conclusion Well developed, with reasonably clear take-home messages. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is good. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. truly) in science-based communication. Reduce use of weasel words (e.g., Another model of optimism that exists is the explanatory style) which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Some sentences are overly long; consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences. Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove additional bold). See earlier comments about heading casing. Grammar Check and correct use of that vs. who. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min). Abbreviations Abbreviations (such as vs) should only be used inside parentheses - otherwise, spell out. Proofreading More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. APA style Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.. Figures and tables Figures are very well captioned. Use APA style for Table captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example: Do not include author initials. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. References - beyond max. word count. Written expression — Learning features Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # Excellent use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Excellent use of image(s). Excellent use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Social contribution ~5 logged, minor-moderate, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:53, 28 October 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a reasonably good. Overview An initial slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Content An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. The presentation addresses the topic. The presentation is well structured. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Audio The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio. Audio recording quality was very good. Video The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides. The visual communication is supplemented by images. The video is well produced using simple tools. Visual display quality was good. Some slides were too complex. Meta-data The chapter title and sub-title are used in the name of presentation - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is provided. A link to the book chapter is provided but it goes to a specific section rather than the top of the chapter. A link from the book chapter is provided. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:52, 14 November 2021 (UTC)