Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Very brief description about self provided - consider expanding
Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions.
Promising development of key points for some section, with some relevant citations. Other sections are empty.
The main area for potential improvement is focus the content more directly on the topic (i.e., the relation between meditation and goal attainment) and abbreviate/remove more general content (e.g., about meditation). To this end, the most important section is likely to be "How meditation supports goal attainment".
Overview - Consider adding:
an evocative description of the problem
an image
an example or case study
Write the chapter using 3rd person perspective, although a case study or feature box could use 1st or 2nd person perspective
Use APA style for citations e.g., for citations with three or more authors (i.e., FirstAuthor et al., year)
Direct quotes need page numbers (APA style) - even better, write in your own words
For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research
Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
Consider including more examples/case studies
Conclusion (the most important section):
hasn't been developed
what might the take-home, practical messages be?
in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title and/or focus questions?
Latest comment: 3 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hi, your chapter is coming along really well! It looks like you'll be on track for timely submission. I have noticed some minor errors in your referencing, namely journal names and volumes not being italicised and some references with incorrect casing. I have corrected some errors for you, although it may be worth revisiting as you finalise your chapter and potentially add more references. Here is a great link for some guidelines on APA 7th Edition referencing. I hope this helps! Charli --CharliU3203035 (discuss • contribs) 04:54, 15 October 2021 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
Overall, this chapter does a reasonably good job of applying psychological theory and research to a real-world problem.
This chapter makes insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations. Non-peer reviewed sources are over-used. Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section.
Overall, the quality of written expression is promising in the way it is simple, direct, and interesting, but also consider room for improvement.
Some sentences are overly long (e.g., the first sentence); consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs (e.g., the first paragraph). A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Use permanent, rather than relative, time references. For example, instead of "20 years ago", refer to something like "at the beginning of the 21st century". In this way, the text will survive better into the future, without needing to be rewritten. Similarly, avoid overly current time references (e.g., In "the current unique pandemic climate") because this text will age very quickly.
Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
Reduce use of weasel words (e.g., "Put simply, ", "considered") which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning.
Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words.
Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
Sub-headings have been removed from the Conclusion.
Grammar
The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
Good use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters.
Latest comment: 2 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
An opening slide with the sub-title (add a question mark) is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. The title would also help.
The importance of this topic is explained.
Briefly explain why this topic is important.
Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.
The chapter sub-title but not the chapter title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.