Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Indigenous Australian well-being

Comment

Great topic! For interest, I thought this might be a good 'See Also' link. It it for the Back to Country project for Indigenous Australians, I've personally have connections with them and they are doing some fabulous work in particular with young indigenous males https://www.cultureislife.org/project/back-to-country-uncle-max-harrison/ --U3193728 (discuss • contribs) 02:03, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Psychology and Indigenous people

New article may be of interest: https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/abs/10.1146/annurev-psych-012921-045304 -- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:57, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

Little bit late but this is a clip about closing the gap could be useful for an external link, it mentions the schemas that people think aboriginal people are related to alcohol and drugs. https://youtu.be/QzUp41sel-I --U3202710 (discuss • contribs) 01:55, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Comment

Wow, you have done so much for your chapter. I a few comments. First, regarding placement of modules and key learning. I acknowledge this is a work in progress but I found module one a little hard to read as it wrapped fro left to right under the key takeaways. Second, I found your image "Wellmob" very interesting and engaging. I have not see it before. Third, your first quiz. The second question is a little tricky because it does not note that you can select more than one. -- (u3167879 - |Talk - c 04:14, 18 August 2021 (UTC)

Awesome job Laura, very engaging and great balance between content, activities, and figures. A few things I would like to suggest: - consider adding sources to your case studies (just for plagiarism reasons) - consider exploring the recent events of COVID19 in Wilcannia, which has been heavily impacted - I also noticed for your independent tasks that it seems the resources for 1 & 2 are mixed around Great job! --J.Payten (discuss • contribs) 00:57, 3 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi Laura. I would suggest confirming the reference requirements because I note you have used two styles: APA and end note(?). One would provide consistency. I also note that you have only referred to your figure 4 image. One of the comments I had after the book topic was : Cite each figure at least once in the main text. To that end I have inserted figure 1 and 2 to assist, but I would suggest confirming requirements to ensure you do not lose easy marks. Hope this helps. --U3167879 (discuss • contribs) 10:50, 3 October 2021 (UTC)

Hi! Iv’e found a past book chapter which discusses Indigenous Australian transgenerational trauma and psychological well-being (2019). Might be useful to add to your ‘see also’ section :) - --TaraU3187760 (discuss • contribs) 05:33, 16 October 2021 (UTC) https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2019/Indigenous_Australian_transgenerational_trauma_and_psychological_well-being

Hello! Iv’e found a past book chapter which discusses Indigenous Australian transgenerational trauma (2020). Might also be useful to add to your ‘see also’ section :) --U3202315 (discuss • contribs) 18:52, 17 October 2021 (UTC) https://en.m.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2020/Transgenerational_trauma

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:49, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title Excellent Removed "trigger warning" as the topic is about wellbeing and the audience is international. User page Excellent - used effectively Description about self provided, with link(s) to professional profile(s) Use an internal link to book chapter Social contribution Very good Twitter - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Wikiversity - summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence. To add direct links: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Headings Very good Remove Module numbers from headings - just use the default Wikiversity headings which include numbers. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Key points Direct quotes need page numbers. Overall, very promising development of plan and content for this chapter. Make sure to address an international audience e.g., when referring to "Indigenous" it is often important to clarify when this is meant to be referring to "Indigenous Australians". For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings. Avoid overcapitalisation (APA style) - more info Use bullet points (see Tutorial 1 - Using Wikiversity) Some of the external links in the main text would be better as citations (e.g., where they go to academic or grey literature such as government webpages). Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Very good ideas for case study(ies). Make sure to include at least one "success" story. An excellent balance of theory and research is evident. Excellent use of feature boxes and tables. Overview - Consider: replacing learnings with focus questions - learnings may go better in the conclusion (as take-home messages) an image an example or case study Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. Conclusion (the most important section): underdeveloped what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title? Figure A figure is presented. Caption: Include Figure X. ... Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Overall, excellent. Some are a bit confusing, so check and correct e.g., no. 23 Resources Useful links Improve layout e.g., use bullet points; see previous example chapters

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:49, 1 September 2021 (UTC)

Indigenous Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Clearinghouse

@LozGrace: This could be a useful resource for this chapter: Indigenous Mental Health and Suicide Prevention Clearinghouse (Australian Institute of Health and Welfare). -- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:40, 28 September 2021 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi there!

Your book chapter looks great! Congrats on the work you have put into it so far! I do have a couple of suggestions which I hope are helpful. Firstly, referencing using footnotes (such as the wiki format), you need to put the footnote number after punctuation. So for example, your footnote numbers would look something like this.³ This is the link to the guide: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Citing_sources#Footnotes . Secondly, I really liked your initial case study, but you might also like to link it to the case of Mabo v Queensland (No 2) which overturned the doctrine of terra nullius and recognised native title. It seems like it would be pertinent to your chapter. This is a summary because the full judgment is quite long: https://aiatsis.gov.au/sites/default/files/research_pub/overturning-the-doctrine-of-terra-nullius_0_3.pdf . Thirdly, you might like to add a couple more references into the chapter, particularly after definitions. For instance, "one might condense wellbeing into" or "holistic wellbeing is defined as" could be followed by a source to both acknowledge where you got the defintion and to add weight to the statement. You might also want to use definitions which are specific for psychology such as the APA dictionary or a theory article (maybe this one might be good for wellbeing https://www.internationaljournalofwellbeing.org/index.php/ijow/article/view/89 ) rather than the Oxford english dictionary.

Hope these suggestions help. All the best with the rest of the semester!!

U3202904 (discuss • contribs) 22:50, 13 October 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Well developed Overview. Address an international audience, so make sure to explain the national/local context (e.g., by providing links for more info). Clear focus question(s). Theory — Breadth This is a broad topic. The chapter does an excellent job of incorporating a wide range of applied theory for the target topic. Where are the five dimensions of Indigenous wellbeing from? (Explain) Well described paradox in wellbeing effects of remote living/urban living and access to health services. Theory — Depth Theory is described in appropriate depth. Impressive provision of additional/supplementary materials Key citations are well used. Several useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. Research — Key findings The chapter does an excellent job of incorporating relevant research to support its claims. Relevant grey literature is incorporated Wilcannia - excellent, illustrative, research-based case study. Research — Critical thinking Critical thinking is evidenced by balanced interpretation of research. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Sometimes overly emotive language is used. Integration Discussion of theory and research is well integrated. Conclusion Well developed. Clear take-home messages. Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is very good. Avoid overly emotive language (e.g,. extreme, incredible, alarming) in science-based communication. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking. Layout Sufficient, but minimal heading development. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings (fixed). Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Use serial commas[1] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min). Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures and tables Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation). Written expression — Learning features Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. One use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of image(s). No use of table(s). Excellent use of feature box(es). Excellent use of quiz(zes). Social contribution 40+ logged, useful, minor to major social contributions across three platforms with direct links to evidence. Thankyou!

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:19, 31 October 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a very good presentation. Overview Title presented. Sub-title not presented. Explain the importance of the topic. Focus questions are presented. Content The presentation addresses the topic, and includes a useful example. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research (mostly descriptive statistics). The presentation makes very good use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). Audio The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes good use of narrated audio. Audio communication is clear. Excellent intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. Audio recording quality was very good. Mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio. Video Overall, visual display quality is excellent. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. The video is very well produced. Meta-data The chapter title but not the sub-title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A written description of the presentation is provided. Links to and from the book chapter are provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:30, 15 November 2021 (UTC)