Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Fantasy and sexual motivation

Thoughts on layout, image ideas, and maybe a useful reference

This is an interesting topic for sure, so good luck with the writing! As a thought, perhaps the 'sexual fantasy' section might fit better as the first thing discussed in the chapter? That way you might not have to double up on the explanations for 'sexual motivation' and the varying theories. As for pictures, maybe try something from the 'sexual fantasy' page on Wikipedia? A fair few of the ones on that page re public domain. Finally, I don't know if this source would help (https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167218789611) but it might be useful if you are looking for recent studies - it should be possible to get a full copy through the UC library access. --U3020459 (discuss • contribs) 14:24, 28 August 2021 (UTC)

Comments

From U3187741: Hi! I noticed that you don't have this book chapter linked on your chapter. It may be beneficial as it is a similar topic and pleasure can be derived from sexual fantasies!

Editing comments

Hey! Really great chapter! Just a few editing notes, your intext references are bolded (not sure if this is because you’re still working on the chapter) and don’t need to be, also there is overuse of italics, italics should only be used when referring to a specific theory, however in APA and for this textbook are not required. The italics often lead to confusion as to the actual importance of the concept. Might also be worth externally linking some of the terms, wiki has multiple different pages on it, such as this one on sexual fantasy https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_fantasy. Also might be useful to use more external links, see this article on how the science of sexual desire can improve your sex life https://goop.com/wellness/sexual-health/how-the-science-of-sexual-desire-can-improve-your-sex-life/. Or others like it! --U3187874 (discuss • contribs) 02:32, 17 October 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted User page Excellent - used effectively Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Link provided to book chapter Social contribution Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence. Headings Excellent Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings. Key points Wow - this is shaping to be a tour de force. It is likely that this will hit the maximum word count, so be OK with abbreviating background material (e.g., what is sexual motivation) or related but not essential topics. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings. Avoid overcapitalisation (APA style) - more info Check formatting of et al. (needs period at the end) Overview - Consider adding: a description of the phenomenon an image an example or case study Good balance of theory and research. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Conclusion (the most important section): what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title? Figure Excellent Caption uses APA style. Caption explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. Consider decreasing image size. References Excellent Resources Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:29, 7 September 2021 (UTC)

Suggestion

Hi! You topic is really interesting and seems like you have a lot of information about it already! I have just added an internal wiki link to get you started as I saw you had none! Hope this helps you get started! --U3204694 (discuss • contribs) 11:14, 30 September 2021 (UTC)

Suggestion

Hey, i just added two other pages under see also, i think they would apply to your chapter. --Takudzwa14 (discuss • contribs) 07:21, 16 October 2021 (UTC)

imbedded links

Hey! I added embedded links and did some spelling corrections. Good luck! [[1]] 17/10/2021 6:23 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview Well developed Overview. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon. Clear focus question(s). Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest. Theory — Breadth Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained. Less coverage of general sexual motivation theory and more detail about sexual motivation theory would be ideal. Build more strongly on other sexual motivation-related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Sexual motivation). Theory — Depth Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies). Ideally, provide more depth about sexual fantasy-related theory. Key citations are well used. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information. Useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts. Research — Key findings Relevant research is well reviewed. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Very good critical thinking about research is evident. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Integration Discussion of theory and research is reasonably well integrated. Conclusion Key points are well summarised. Add practical, take-home message(s). Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. "People" is often a better term than "individuals". Layout The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Grammar Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. APA style Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc.. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Figures and tables Use sentence casing for Figure captions. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Citations use correct APA style. References are not in full APA style. For example: Provide issue numbers. Check and correct punctuation. Spell out journal names. Include hyperlinked dois. Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is very good. Excellent use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Very good use of image(s). No use of table(s). Basic use of feature box(es). Very good use of quiz(zes). The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end. Good use of case studies or examples. Social contribution 1 logged, useful, moderate social contributions with direct link to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:15, 11 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an very good presentation. Overview An opening slide with the title and sub-title is presented and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. Content The presentation addresses the topic reasonably well. Good coverage of sexual motivation, but this takes 2 minutes, only leaving 1 minute to cover sexual fantasy. Ideally, flip this around (i.e., 1 min on sexual motivation and 2 min on sexual fantasy). An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research. The presentation makes good use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. The presentation provides easy to understand information. Conclusion A Conclusion slide is presented with a basic take-home message. The presentation could be strengthened by expanding on the take-home message (e.g., answers to more than one focus question). Audio The audio is interesting to listen to. The audio is easy to follow. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio. Audio communication is clear and well paced. Audio recording quality was excellent. Mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio. Video Overall, visual display quality is excellent. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. The presentation is very well produced. Meta-data The chapter title but not the sub-title is used in the name of the presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. A simple written description of the presentation is provided. Links to and from the book chapter are provided. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are communicated. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the presentation description but not in the meta-data.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:00, 15 November 2021 (UTC)