Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Emotion across the lifespan


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. Wording and capitalisation of the title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  2. Wording and capitalisation of the sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  3. Username has been corrected in the book table of contents
  1. Brief description of self provided
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  3. Link provided to book chapter
  1. None summarised with link(s) to evidence
  1. Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure
  1. Insufficient development of key points for each section
  2. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. a description of the "problem"
    2. focus questions
    3. an image
    4. an example or case study
  4. Expand theory and research
  5. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. This is particularly important for this chapter as there are several other chapters about closely related concepts.
  6. Consider including more examples/case studies
  7. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title?
  1. Figure has been removed - probably due to copyright violation
  1. This reference would belong better in the External links section as it is not a peer reviewed, academic article.
  2. Remember that the goal is to identify and use the best academic theory and research about this topic.
  1. None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:41, 13 September 2021 (UTC)Reply

Suggestions

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Hello, I think it's really good that you have listed the different stages of life, will be interesting to see how you expand them. I think your chapter would benefit from adding a heading such as 'The lifespan approach' in this section you could talk about studies that have utilised this approach to study emotion. Please see below the studies that I think you could incorporate: 1. 'Speaking About Feelings: Conceptions of Emotion Across the Life Span' https://doi.org/10.1037/0882-7974.4.4.425 2. 'Younger and Older Adults’ Beliefs About the Experience and Expression of Emotions Across the Life Span' https://doi.org/10.1093/geronb/gbt073 Best of luck! --U3217975 (discusscontribs) 10:48, 10 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation because it doesn't cover the full topic which was: "How does emotion develop and vary across the lifespan?".
  2. The presentation is under the maximum time limit.
  1. Display and narrate the correct title/sub-title, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
  2. Briefly explain why this topic is important.
  3. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages.
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. This presentation doesn't adequately address the topic. It is overly narrowly focused on infant and child emotion development, rather than considering the whole lifespan.
  3. The selection of content is problematic because it doesn't fully address the approved topic as listed at Motivation and emotion/Book/2021.
  4. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research.
  6. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  1. No Conclusion slide is presented with take-home message(s).
  1. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio.
  2. The presentation lacks the polish that comes with practice.
  3. Audio recording quality was OK. Possibly an on-board microphone was used (e.g., some white noise). Consider using an external microphone.
  4. The narrated content isn't well matched to the target topic.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic.
  2. The presentation makes very basic use of text and image based slides.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  4. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools.
  5. The visual content isn't sufficiently matched to the original target topic.
  1. Consider exporting to a more common hosting platform such as YouTube which would allow the presentation to be given a title, description, link to the book chapter, license etc.
  1. Consider exporting to a more common hosting platform such as YouTube which would allow the presentation to be given a title, description, link to the book chapter, license etc.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:38, 20 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:51, 22 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. I suspect that the recommended 5 topic development hours and 45 book chapter hours were not invested in preparing this chapter.
  2. Well under the maximum word count.
  3. The main area for potential improvement is to focus on the whole lifespan, not just infants and children.
  4. Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations. Non-peer reviewed sources are over-used. Move non-peer reviewed links into the external links section.
  5. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. The Overview is underdeveloped.
  2. Explain the problem or phenomenon in more detail.
  3. The focus questions could be improved by covering the topic more comprehensively (i.e., across the whole lifespan).
  4. Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest.
  1. Insufficient scope of coverage across the lifespan.
  2. Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic.
  3. Build more strongly on other developmental chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Developmental).
  1. Insufficient depth of use of relevant psychological theory.
  2. More examples could be useful to illustrate key concepts.
  1. Insufficient use of relevant psychological research.
  2. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. There is basically no discussion of research, so there is little to no integration.
  1. Key points are summarised, but these do not cover the whole lifespan.
  2. Consider reminding the reader about the importance of the problem or phenomenon of interest.
  3. Insufficient as a cohesive summary of what the best available psychological theory and research has to say about the topic.
  4. Address the focus questions.
  5. Clear take-home message(s).
  6. Add practical, take-home message(s).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
  2. Direct quotes are overused - it is much better to write in your own words.
  3. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Headings should use default wiki style (e.g., remove italics).
    3. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Use serial commas[2] - they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min).
    3. Check and correct use of semi-colons (;) and colons (:).
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  6. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    3. Figures
      1. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
      2. Figure captions should use this format: Figure X. Descriptive caption in sentence casing. See example.
      3. Refer to each Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    4. References do not use a consistent formatting style.
    5. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is insufficient.
  2. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. This was taught in Tutorial 1.
  3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. This was taught in Tutorial 1.
  4. One use of image(s).
  5. No use of table(s).
  6. One use of feature box(es).
  7. Basic use of quiz(zes).
  8. No use of case studies or examples.
  9. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section.
  10. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section.
  11. Format bullet-points and numbered lists, per Tutorial 1.
  1. No logged social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:51, 22 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

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