Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Compassion

Heading casing

FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example: Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:08, 17 September 2021 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title The title is correctly worded and formatted Wording and capitalisation of the sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents User page Used effectively Description about self provided Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Add link to book chapter Social contribution Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence Add direct links to evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Use a numbered list Headings See earlier comment about Heading casing The heading structure doesn't really match the topic (i.e., the sub-title). The sub-title suggests three focus questions which could simply become three top-level headings, with the possibility of developing sub-heading within those sections. Well-being could be one of the pros (or cons), but doesn't merit a top-level headings The workplace could be used an an example or case study, but doesn't merit a top-level heading Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings Key points Basic development of key points for some sections, without relevant citations Use bullet points (see Tutorial 1 - Using Wikiversity) For sections which include sub-sections include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings Overview - Consider adding: a description of the problem and what will be covered focus questions an example or case study Strive for an integrated balance of theory and research Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Consider including more examples/case studies Cite each reference at least once in the main text. Conclusion (the most important section): well developed under developed hasn't been developed what might the take-home, practical messages be? in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question(s) in the sub-title? Figure A figure is presented Caption should include Figure X. (note: italics) Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text Figure(s) are cited at least once in the main text Cite each figure at least once in the main text References Very good For APA referencing style, check and correct: italicisation doi formatting separate page numbers by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-) Resources See also Excellent External links I've moved the Wikipedia links to See also Sorry, the template wasn't clear - this section should provides links to non-Wikiversity/Wikipedia and non-peer reviewed academic articles - e.g., informative videos, news articles, or other relevant resources.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:08, 17 September 2021 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. The original topic signed up to was: "Compassion - What is compassion, what are its pros and cons, and how can it be fostered?" not self-compassion. The topic was changed without negotiation. I've changed the title and sub-title back to the original. There is already a good chapter about self-compassion - see Motivation and emotion/Book/2014/Self-compassion and well-being, which you must have seen because the exact same wording was used in this edit. So, the marking and feedback for this chapter reflects to the extent to which it addresses the marking criteria for the original topic. Note that even if the agreed topic was self-compassion, this chapter would be insufficient due to the lack of use of relevant peer-reviewed psychological theory and research. Under the maximum word count. Insufficient use of primary, peer-reviewed sources as citations. Non-peer reviewed sources are over-used. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Overview How is Maslow's hierarchy of needs related to the topic (compassion)? Focus of the Overview is on self-compassion rather than compassion. Self-compassion can be part of an answer to the broader topic. But just summarise this material and provide an embedded link to the dedicated chapter about self-compassion for more information. The focus questions could be improved by being more specific to the topic (i.e., the sub-title). Consider introducing a case study or example or using an image to help engage reader interest. Theory — Breadth There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). For example, how is SDT related to the topic (compassion)? Focuses on self-compassion instead of compassion. Insufficient use of psychological theory about this topic. Build more strongly on other compassion-related chapters (e.g., by incorporating embedded links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Compassion). Theory — Depth Insufficient use of relevant psychological theory. Research — Key findings Insufficient use of relevant psychological research. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Research — Critical thinking Insufficient critical thinking about research is evident. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Integration Insufficient integration of theory and research. Conclusion Insufficient related to topic (compassion). Written expression — Style Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is basic. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead: it is, most often, not needed at all, or use section linking. Use 3rd person perspective (e.g., "it") rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you") perspective[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. Grammar The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. Proofreading Remove unnecessary capitalisation (e.g., Determination -> determination). APA style Direct quotes need page numbers - even better, write in your own words. Replace double spaces with single spaces. Figures and tables are not relevant to the topic (compassion). Citations use correct APA style. References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation[3] Check and correct use of italicisation Written expression — Learning features Overall, the use of learning features is insufficient. Basic use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Insufficient use of relevant image(s). No use of table(s). Basic use of feature box(es). No use of quiz(zes) relevant to topic (compassion). No use of case studies or examples. Links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section. Social contribution ~1 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence, so unable to easily verify and assess.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:46, 13 November 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it is about self-compassion, but the original topic was compassion. Overview The opening slide does not present and narrate the correct title and sub-title. Doing this would help to clearly convey the correct purpose of the presentation. Briefly explain why this topic is important. Consider asking focus questions that lead to take-away messages. Content Comments about the book chapter also apply to this section. The presentation does not addresses the topic. The selection of content is poor because it doesn't adequately use the most relevant psychological theory and/or research about compassion as an emotion. The presentation does not make use relevant psychological/emotional theory about compassion. The presentation does not makes use of relevant psychological/emotional research about compassion. The presentation does not makes use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice about compassion. Conclusion A Conclusion slide does not present psychological-science based take-home message(s) about compassion. Audio The narrated content doesn't match the target topic. The audio is easy to follow and interesting to listen to. Very good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement. Audio recording quality was excellent. Video The visual content doesn't match the target topic. Overall, visual display quality is excellent. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time. The presentation is well produced using simple tools. Meta-data The chosen hosting platform does not provide any meta-data (i.e., presentation title, description, or links). The link to the book chapter wasn't clickable. There was a link from the book chapter to the presentation. Licensing Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 19:24, 18 November 2021 (UTC)

Book chapter resubmission feedback

These changes were reviewed. Comments:

1. The chapter has received a major overhaul, with a lot of the content about self-compassion removed and a lot of new content about compassion added. As a result, the chapter is now better aligned with the original topic, and thus much improved. However, there is still too much content about self-compassion (e.g., the section of the pros of compassion is actually about self-compassion).
2. The chapter is now over the maximum count. Some of the content should be summarised (e.g., the Neurophysiological section).
3. added some basic copyediting.
4. A grammatical error was added to the subtitle. I've corrected it.
5. Heading casing has not been corrected.
6. Introductory sections have not been added before branching into sub-headings.
7. Some of the paragraphs are overly long. Aim for three to five sentences.
8. The Overview has been significantly improved. However, some of the wording is problematic (e.g., the last sentence doesn't make sense).
9. Theory is now moderately well covered.
10. Research is now moderately well covered.
11. The Conclusion provides a basic summary.
12. The quality of written expression is basic.
13. The use of learning features is basic. I liked to use of the self-compassion exercises.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:38, 6 December 2021 (UTC)

Multimedia resubmission feedback

1. A very basic Overview is provided.
2. This is a basic presentation.
3. The presentation now focuses on compassion instead of self-compassion, so is much better aligned with the topic.
4. A general overview of compassion is provided using narrated audio with a basic set of text and image-based slides.
5. No Conclusion with take-home messages is provided.
6. The source of the images is not acknowledged.

Sincerely, James -- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:45, 6 December 2021 (UTC)