Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2021/Achievement motivation and attribution theory

Feedback

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Hi, great work so far on developing your topic. Here a few handy tips to help you along.

  • Putting a box around focus questions will help them stand out better. Following up with the answers to focus questions at the end will show your understanding of the topic and is a great way to summarise the chapter. Add a dot point to the last question to ensure consistency.
  • Figure 1 - caption could be clear to link in with topic e.g. 'proof of achievement for some is about winning'
  • Bracket placed around in text citation Vaughn & Hogg, 2018.
  • Edited line áttributee those findings, previously over two paragraphs.
  • Remember to take out your working notes
  • Add information under subheadings such as false consensus
  • Some sentences left unfinished.
  • I removed information about feature boxes
  • Link to key terms when first mentioned, I added one for fundamental attribution
  • Add more images to create interest and to break up the information on your page.

--U3186377 (discusscontribs) 21:01, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hi there, that would be great if you could cite your key points with peer-reviewed research.--U3195440 (discusscontribs) 23:09, 29 August 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hello, firstly you've done a great job on your book chapter so far, but I just noticed in your overview that there were two incomplete sentences, I have re-wrote it for you if you wish you use this instead: Motivation is a broad concept in psychology, one which has many theoretical and practical implications. This book chapter will focus specifically on achievement motivation, and the chapter also discusses what defines achievement motivation and how it falls under the broader concept of motivation. The referenced research and theories aim to answer how attributions affect achievement motivation by delving into defining attributions and exploring attribution theory.

Hopefully, this is helpful :) --U3065868 (discusscontribs) 08:47, 12 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hi there. I found your topic interesting, and especially some of the subheadings. I have found an article particularly about self serving bias, a section that I saw you have not yet completed. I hope it might be able to help you in finishing this section. The title is called: Immune to Situation: The Self-Serving Bias in Unambiguous Contexts, with a link here: https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00822. --U3127020 (discusscontribs) 03:47, 14 October 2021 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. Excellent
  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Very good
  2. Suggestion: The link to evidence can be to a comparison which shows changes from multiple edits to a page - just choose which two versions of the page to compare.
  1. Promising 2-level heading structure - but would benefit from further development by expanding the structure for the most important section (#4) and reducing the amount of planned background content (about achievement and attribution as separate constructs (#2 and #3 respectively).
  2. The Overview and Conclusion should not have sub-headings.
  1. Basic development of key points for some sections, with a lack of relevant citations.
  2. Write using 3rd person perspective.
  3. Overview - Consider:
    1. avoid being so general (e.g., about "motivation") and focus more specifically on the main topic (i.e., the sub-title).
    2. providing a description of the problem and what will be covered
    3. focus questions - keep #1 and #3 - remove or adapt #2
    4. adding an image
    5. adding an example or case study
  4. Vaughan and Hogg is a secondary resource - useful for pointing to specific utilise academic, peer-reviewed sources - but the chapter should not be based on secondary sources.
  5. For sections which include sub-section include key points for an overview paragraph prior to branching into the sub-headings.
  6. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to other book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this chapter on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  7. There seems to be reasonable mention of relevant theory, but a lack of planned review of relevant research.
  8. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  9. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  10. Conclusion (the most important section): heading in the right direction - strive to provide concrete, specific, practical take-home messages that demonstrate an excellent understanding of the topic
  1. Excellent
  2. A figure is presented.
  3. An figure is not presented.
  4. Caption uses APA style.
  5. Caption should include Figure X. ...
  6. Caption explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  7. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  8. Figure(s) are cited at least once in the main text.
  9. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.
  10. Consider increasing image size from default to make it easier to view.
  1. Insufficient
  2. APA style not used
  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:54, 3 September 2021 (UTC)Reply


Comments

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Hi, I think you would have more marks if you re-check the marking criteria. There are a few marks that you could easily have. For example, the marking criteria mentioned that "Provide up to about half a dozen wiki links to related Wikiversity book chapters and/or Wikipedia articles". I put the link here for you: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter Moreover, it is a great way to make your chapter looks good by removing the parts of the template that are not relevant to the topic before you publish the chapter. Hope that would help.--U3195440 (discusscontribs) 20:59, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation.
  2. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes.
  1. An opening slide with the title and sub-title is displayed and narrated - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A context for the topic is established.
  3. Aims are presented. Consider using focus questions instead.
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section.
  2. The presentation addresses the topic.
  3. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to cover a small amount of well-targetted content than a large amount of poorly selected content.
  4. The presentation makes good use of relevant psychological theory.
  5. The presentation makes no use of relevant psychological research.
  6. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  1. The Conclusion did not fit within the time limit.
  1. The presentation makes basic use of narrated audio.
  2. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. Basic intonation.
  4. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. Consider improving articulation to enhance the clarity of speech.
  6. Audio recording quality was OK. Review microphone set-up to achieve higher recording quality.
  1. Overall, visual display quality is basic.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides.
  3. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time.
  4. The visual communication could be improved by including more relevant images and/or diagrams.
  5. The presentation is basically produced using simple tools.
  1. The chapter sub-title but not the chapter title is used in the name of the presentation. The title would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A written description of the presentation is provided.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided.
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated.
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the presentation description but not in the meta-data.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:29, 23 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Over the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Well developed Overview.
  2. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon.
  3. Clear focus question(s).
  4. Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. The chapter doesn't wander off into discussion of irrelevant theory.
  3. There is a lot of attribution theory and some achievement motivation, with some combination. Perhaps attribution theory could be summarised more briefly, to fit within the word count and allow greater exploration of the connection between AT and AM.
  4. Build more strongly on other related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Attribution and Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Achievement motivation).
  1. Appropriate depth is provided about the selected theory(ies).
  2. Key citations are well used.
  3. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed.
  2. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Very good critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. suggesting specific directions for future research
  1. Discussion of theory and research is well integrated.
  1. Key points are well summarised.
  2. Clear take-home message(s).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent.
    2. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Grammar, spelling, and proofreading are excellent.
    1. Abbreviations
      1. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
      2. Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc.).
  4. APA style
    1. Direct quotes do not need "..." before and after when embedded in sentences.
    2. Figures
      1. Figures are very well captioned.
      2. Figure captions use the correct format.
      3. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text.
    3. Citations use correct APA style.
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[1]
      2. Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is good.
  2. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. # One use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding more in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
  3. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links, per Tutorial 1.
  4. Links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section.
  5. Basic use of image(s).
  6. No use of table(s).
  7. Basic use of feature box(es).
  8. Excellent use of quiz(zes).
  9. The quiz questions could be more effective as learning prompts by being embedded as single questions within each corresponding section rather than being presented as a set of questions at the end.
  10. Good use of case studies or examples.
  11. Basic use of interwiki links in the "See also" section.
  12. Basic use of external links in the "External links" section.
  1. ~1 logged, useful, moderate social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:18, 24 November 2021 (UTC)Reply

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