Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Sedentary behaviour change

N0.2 Heading advice

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Hi,
I suggest that No.2 Sedentary behavior part, not only pregnancy and children. Sedentary behavior can be found in all age groups.
--U3178984 (discusscontribs) 03:15, 28 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Advice on Goal Setting Theory - SMART goals

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Hi! I noticed you are going to discuss Goal Setting Theory in relation to changing sedentary behaviour. I found a good Wiki article about SMART goals which could be something for you to build on further. Here is the link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SMART_criteria --U3179701 (discusscontribs) 06:41, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. OK
  2. Sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page

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  1. Excellent
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.

Social contribution

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  1. Very good

Section headings

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  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development particularly around addressing the core topic: How can sedentary behaviours be changed?
  2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then focus most of the content on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. In this respect, answering this is the most important focus question: "How specific motivation theories and research help?" is more important than the other questions.
  2. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an image.
    2. an example or case study.
  3. Remove or adapt generic template content.
  4. Basic development of key points for each section. The problem is that a lot of this content is too general and not sufficiently targetted/applied to the specific topic for this chapter.
  5. Currently, theory-rich but research-poor.
  6. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  7. Consider including more examples/case studies (or expanding on suggested ones).
  8. Maybe of interest: Haile, C., Kirk, A., Cogan, N., Janssen, X., Gibson, A. M., & MacDonald, B. (2020). Pilot testing of a nudge-based digital intervention (Welbot) to improve sedentary behaviour and wellbeing in the workplace. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 17(16), 5763.

Image

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  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption
    1. does not use APA style.
    2. include citation for source of data.
    3. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. doi formatting

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Use bullet-points
  2. External links
    1. Move the internal link to see also
    2. Swap the link text and parenthetical text - the name of the target page should be hyperlinked, the source details should be in brackets

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:11, 15 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Social contribution

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Hi, I suggest looking at the transtheoretical model and motivational interviewing if you haven't yet. I did an assignment on changing sedentary behaviour and found the transtheoretical model was often used for public health interventions and motivational interviewing in one-to-one interventions. U3170940 (discusscontribs) 02:24, 14 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Hi, here's a useful link to an article that reviewed how schools targeted increases to physical activity of students. S-T. Hynynen, M. M. van Stralen, F. F. Sniehotta, V. Araújo-Soares, W. Hardeman, M. J. M. Chinapaw, T. Vasankari & N. Hankonen (2016) A systematic review of school-based interventions targeting physical activity and sedentary behaviour among older adolescents, International Review of Sport and Exercise Psychology, 9:1, 22-44, DOI: 10.1080/1750984X.2015.1081706OwenUC (discusscontribs) 06:28, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply


Heading casing

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FYI, the recommended Wikiversity heading style uses sentence casing. For example:

Self-determination theory rather than Self-Determination Theory

Here's an example chapter with correct heading casing: Growth mindset development

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:06, 8 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. Sub-title adjusted to match main table of contents.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained.
  2. I particularly liked the use of self-tracking as a practical example of how the theories can be implemented.
  3. Perhaps also acknowledge and point to other potentially relevant theories that weren't covered.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
    2. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just a domestic audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Use bullet-points per Tutorial 1.
    2. Very good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles.
    3. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    4. Very good use of image(s).
    5. Basic use of table(s).
    6. Very good use of feature box(es).
    7. No use of quiz(zes).
  4. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2].
    3. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
  5. Proofreading
    1. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
  6. APA style
    1. In general, do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Use double- rather than single-quote marks for emphasis.
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. Citations use correct APA style.
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Retrieved from is not used for APA style 7th ed.
  1. ~4 logged social contributions, a couple without direct links to evidence, so unable to verify and assess

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:06, 8 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation.
  1. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. The presentation makes excellent use of theory.
  4. The presentation makes excellent use of research.
  5. The presentation makes excellent use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice.
  6. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of animated slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Excellent intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  6. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  7. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. The video is well produced.
  2. Consider exporting to YouTube which is a more common video-hosting platform and it allows for more meta-data to be included.
  3. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  4. The chapter title but not the sub-title are used in the video title - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  5. Audio recording quality was very good.
  6. Visual display quality was excellent.
  7. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided.
  8. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  9. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  10. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  11. A written description of the presentation is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:54, 23 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

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