Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Omega-3 fatty acids and mood


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Excellent

User page

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  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  3. Link to book chapter not working

Social contribution

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  1. Summarised with indirect link(s) to evidence.

Section headings

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  1. Good overall structure
  2. Remove abbreviations from headings
  3. Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections.
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Overall, promising development of key points with citations in each section.
  2. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an image
    2. an example or case study
  3. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  4. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?
    3. in a nutshell, what are the answer(s) to the question in the sub-title?

Image

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  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption
    1. uses APA style.
  3. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. OK
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. spell out journal names
    2. capitalisation
    3. italicisation

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Use bullet-points
    2. Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages
  2. External links
    1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:49, 21 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Case Study boxes

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Hi, this looks like it has come along nicely. I love the quiz link! However, it might help boost your marks if you added one or two more case study boxes. You can use these to highlight any extra information or write a short story as an example. U3189449 (discusscontribs) 22:27, 17 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Social Contribution

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Well done on your book chapter it looks amazing! The amount of effort and information put into this really shows! One thing I might comment on is the format of your in-text referencing; just make sure that it is 7th edition referencing. Adding a quiz might also make your book chapter a little but more intriguing. Apart from this there is really nothing else I love it! --U3190523 (discusscontribs) 10:20, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

This was really interesting to read. My chapter is on a similar topic- nutrition and anxiety. It's clear that you've put a lot of time and effort into this, it looks great. My only suggestion would be to include a quiz or 2! --U3130574 (discusscontribs) 21:46, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. This chapter is over the maximum word count.
  3. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, integrated, and explained.
  2. There is too much general theoretical and technical background material (e.g., about omega-3s, mood etc.). Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). This would help to get the chapter within the maximum word count.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is excellent/very good/good/basic/below professional standard.
    2. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1].
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. It is most often not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
    5. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages.
  1. Learning features
    1. Good use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Promising use of image(s), however it was falsely claimed that at least half of the images were your own work, when they were clearly created by others and were uploaded despite being copyright restricted. I've requested deletion.
    4. Basic use of table(s).
    5. Good use of feature box(es).
    6. Basic use of quiz(zes).
  2. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3].
  3. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    3. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
  4. Figures and tables
      1. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
      2. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    1. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Multiple citations in parentheses should be listed in alphabetical order by first author surname.
    2. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Include full journal title
  1. ~7 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:54, 16 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonably good presentation.
  1. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  2. The selection of content is perhaps overly focused on technical aspects.
  3. The presentation is well structured.
  4. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  5. The presentation makes very good use of theory.
  6. The presentation makes basic use of research.
  7. The presentation makes some use of one or more examples (e.g., foods that contain OM3s).
  8. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  1. The presentation is interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Excellent greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read (e.g., sub-title on opening slide).
  6. Move the cursor off the screen.
  7. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. The video is well produced using simple tools.
  2. The video is poorly produced and lacks the polish that comes with practice.
  3. The wording of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter.
  4. Audio recording quality was very good.
  5. Visual display quality was very good.
  6. Image sources and their copyright status are provided but they are copyright restricted, not free to re-use. Therefore, this presentation has violated copyright and should be removed and/or changed.
  7. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  8. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  9. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  10. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:36, 22 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

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