Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Hypomania and emotion

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be: == Cats and mice == rather than == Cats and Mice == -- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:55, 18 September 2020 (UTC)

Journal article for Schachter and Singer's Theory

Hi, great chapter! I just wanted to add this journal article link about Schachter and Singer's theory, I found it really useful for my chapter. Reisenzein, R. (1983). The Schachter theory of emotion: Two decades later. --U3188019 (discuss • contribs) 19:58, 18 October 2020 (UTC)

@LucieMacdonald: I'm just checking that you've seen this feedback about heading casing. Sincerely, James. -- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:29, 10 October 2020 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Good Authorship details removed - authorship is as per the page's editing history Capitalisation of the title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents User page Minimal but sufficient Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks. Social contribution Excellent. Section headings Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclusion, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections. See earlier comment about Heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points Basic development Overview - Consider adding: focus questions. an image. Promising case study - see how it might be integrated. Include APA style citations. Whilst clinical aspects are relevant, avoid overly focusing on this - the question/topic is about emotional aspects of hypomania more broadly. Conclusion (the most important section) hasn't been developed. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Image An image (figure) is presented. Caption uses APA style. explains how the image connects to key points being made in the main text. Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References 2 out of 3 included For APA referencing style, check and correct: capitalisation italicisation doi formatting Resources See also Include source in brackets after link Also link to relevant Wikipedia pages External links Include source in brackets after link

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:55, 18 September 2020 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter mainly due to the lack of use of more specific psychological theory and research and the poor quality of written expression. The Conclusion was very good. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits. Theory Only a very basic understanding is evident of emotion and some of it is incorrect (e.g., not all emotions involve an increase in heart-rate - consider sadness). There is too much general theoretical material (e.g., about general theories of emotion). Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). Basic description of relevant psychological theory about hypomania is provided. Research Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). The cannabis study is interesting. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. UC Study Skills assistance is recommended to help improve writing skills to a professional standard. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Internationalise: Write for an international, not just a domestic audience. Australians make up only 0.32% of the world human population. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet-points into full paragraph format. Layout Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections. Learning features One use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Use in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters. Good use of image(s). No use of table(s). Good use of feature box(es). Basic use of one quiz question. Very good use of case studies or examples. Grammar The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Check and make correct use of commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[2]. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect. Spelling Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Proofreading More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. Remove unnecessary capitalisation (e.g., Characteristics -> characteristics). APA style Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159). Direct quotes need page numbers. Figures and tables Refer to each Table and Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation). Use APA style for Figure captions. See example. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Remove the commas preceding citations shown in parentheses. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either: in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020) References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation. Move non-peer-reviewed sources to the external links section. Social contribution ~1 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:58, 26 November 2020 (UTC)

Comments on resubmitted book chapter

These revisions have been reviewed. Comments:

1. General explanation of emotion has been expanded and irrelevant theory removed. A more appropriate emphasis on cognitive behavioural theory is provided.
2. Interwiki links have been added.
3. Emotional characteristics of hypomania - dot points have been expanded into paragraphs. Note that the Black Dog Institute is not an academic peer-reviewed source. Cite primary, not secondary, sources.
4. Some of the spelling and grammar has been improved, but and tags haven't been removed and other written expression issues remain.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:47, 10 December 2020 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking and feedback purposes. Structure and content Comments about the book chapter also apply to this section. The general emotion theory is insufficiently related to the target topic. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly. The presentation makes basic use of theory. The presentation makes good use of research. The presentation makes excellent/very good/good/basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s). What are the practical take-home message(s) etc. (this wasn't covered within the time limit). Communication The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Excellent intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. Check and correct grammar. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images. Production quality The video is basically produced using simple tools. Hide the audio icon. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. The chapter title but not the sub-title are used in the name of presentation - the latter would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was OK. Visual display quality was basic. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:09, 27 November 2020 (UTC)