Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Aspirational goals

Social contribution

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Great content, a small benefit may be linking some of the referenced concepts to external sources where they are secondary to the main topic such as Lockes theory https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goal_setting and SMART goals. --U115433 (discusscontribs) 09:48, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Social contribution

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Hi, I enjoyed reading your chapter. I think the layout and structure reads well and is engaging. I have fixed a few grammar issues in your case study of Dean. I would also suggest fixing the errors in your other case study of Erin. --BirdU3171984 (discusscontribs) 09:39, 18 October 2020 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be:

== Cats and mice ==

rather than

== Cats and Mice ==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:51, 19 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. OK
  2. Sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents
  3. Capitalisation of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page

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  1. Excellent - used effectively
  2. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.

Social contribution

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  1. Add a brief summary of each contribution.
  2. Excellent - summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.
  3. Add your signature to comments on talk/discussion pages.

Section headings

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  1. Promising 2-level heading structure
  2. Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  3. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  4. Rather than directions for future research, perhaps consider targeting real life applications/recommendations

Key points

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  1. Basic development of key points for each section, with relevant citations.
  2. Ideally, provide more detail about goal-setting theory and research as it applies to aspirational goals.
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. focus questions.
    2. an image.
    3. an example or case study.
  4. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
  5. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  6. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. hasn't been developed
    2. what might the take-home, practical messages be?

Image

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  1. Excellent
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. OK
  2. Non-peer reviewed sources such as Small should be moved to external links
  3. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. italicisation
    3. include dois where available

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Good
    2. Only include directly relevant book chapters
  2. External links
    1. None presented

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:51, 19 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

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Hi! I found this short ted talk that might be helpful to add to your external link list! https://www.ted.com/talks/derek_sivers_keep_your_goals_to_yourself#t-41053--U3187486 (discusscontribs) 11:04, 15 October 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this chapter does a reasonably good job of applying psychological theory and research to a real-world problem.
  2. A strength is the coverage of theory.
  3. The main room for improvement is to provide more indepth review of relevant research.
  4. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theory is reasonably well explained, with examples.
  2. Did you consult Maslow (1943)? If not, this should be cited as a secondary source.
  1. Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research.
  2. Some claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  3. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicating the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is good.
    2. Use 3rd person perspective rather than 1st (e.g., "we") or 2nd person (e.g., "you")[1] in the main text, although 1st or 2nd person perspective can work well for case studies or feature boxes.
    3. Reduce use of weasel words (e.g., "said") which bulk out the text, but don't enhance meaning.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
  2. Learning features
    1. No use of embedded in-text interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. See example.
    2. No use of embedded in-text links to related book chapters. Embedding in-text links to related book chapters helps to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Use in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters.
    4. Links to non-peer-reviewed sources should be moved to the external links section.
    5. Good use of image(s).
    6. No use of table(s).
    7. Basic of feature box(es).
    8. Good use of quiz(zes).
  3. Grammar
    1. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's a 1 min. explanatory video.
    2. Abbreviations
      1. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
  4. APA style
    1. Do not capitalise the names of disorders, therapies, theories, etc..
    2. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10).
    4. Use double (not single) quotation marks "to introduce a word or phrase used as an ironic comment, as slang, or as an invented or coined expression; use quotation marks only for the first occurrence of the word or phrase, not for subsequent occurrences" (APA 7th ed., 2020, p. 159).
    5. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
      2. Do not include author first name or initials.
    6. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
  1. ~8 logged, useful, social contributions with direct links to evidence.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 13:28, 19 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, effective presentation.
  1. Comments about the book chapter also largely apply to this section.
  2. An appropriate amount of content is presented - not too much or too little.
  3. The presentation is well structured.
  4. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  5. The presentation makes good use of theory.
  6. The presentation makes no use of research.
  7. The presentation could be improved by making more use of examples or case studies.
  8. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  1. The presentation is easy to follow.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  5. The visual communication is supplemented by images.
  1. The video is well produced using simple tools.
    1. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
    2. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality was clear - possibly an on-board microphone was used because keyboard clicks were audible?
  3. Visual display quality was simple but effective.
  4. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Specific links to the source for each image are needed - otherwise, how is someone meant to be able to find/check/use the image(s)?
  5. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  6. A link to the book chapter is/not provided.
  7. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  8. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:51, 20 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

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