Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Post-traumatic stress effects on achievement motivation in adolescents

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:41, 30 August 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Title and sub-title have been corrected to match the main book table of contents. Alternatively, propose a new title and sub-title. User page Created, with description about self and link to book chapter What does the "what do i do" section mean? Social contribution Three well summarised but links do not go to direct evidence. To do this: View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see Making and summarising social contributions. Section headings Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development See earlier comment about Heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Key points Write using a 3rd person perspective. Interesting content but lacks sufficient focus on the topic which involves synthesising the best psychological theory and research on the topic. Overview - the emphasis on child soldiers and non-combatee children in violent conflict areas isn't justified by the topic. This could be used as an interesting and useful case study/example, but it shouldn't be the sole focus/emphasis. Rather than using long quotes for case studies, consider describing the cases in your own words. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Image Provided, with an APA style caption (except Figure 1 should be italicised) Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References Good. For full APA style: Use correct capitalisation Use correct italicisation Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Alphabetical order Resources Good

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:04, 27 September 2019 (UTC)

Editing and Grammer

1. I can see that you have some spelling and grammar problems, I suggest that you download Grammarly as a google app. It will underline anything that isn't correct and make suggestions. I found that it helps me a lot.--U3175262 (discuss • contribs) 03:34, 6 October 2019 (UTC)
2. When referencing a case study that has lots of authors and you want to use 'et al.' you need to establish who all the authors are first. For example for your reference; Trumbull, Elise & Rothstein-Fisch, Carrie. (2011). The Intersection of Culture and Achievement Motivation. School Community Journal. 21. It should look like this '(Trumbull, E. & Rothstein-Fisch, C., 2011)' or if used in a sentence ' Trumbull and Rothstein-Fisch highlight how the culture of an individual as well as their social identity will determine their definition of achievement (2011). After establishing it you can change the reference to (Trumbull, et al. 2011). The UC library has a referencing guide on its website with explanations if you need more help--U3175262 (discuss • contribs) 03:34, 6 October 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is an insufficient chapter. This chapter is well over the maximum word count. The Overview is too long - consolidate. The Overview lacks a sufficiently tight focus on the topic (i.e., the sub-title). The Conclusion is missing - ends with a whimper rather than a bang. The main body is too loose, covering all sorts of vaguely related material that should be removed altogether or summarised. The focus on theory, research, and examples directly on the target topic needs to be substantially enhanced. Basically, more discipline is needed. For additional feedback, see comments below and [ these copyedits]. Theory There is too much general theoretical material. Instead, summarise and link to further information (such as other book chapters or Wikipedia articles), to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question). The chapter starts to directly address the topic about half-way through with the section titled: "The effect of PTSD on motivation in adolescents". Research Overall, this chapter makes insufficient use of research that is directly related to the target topic. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression Overall, the quality of written expression is OK, but needs more discipline and more attention to detail to reach a professional standard. Addressing the topic development feedback could have helped to improve this chapter. Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout Avoid having sections with only one sub-section. Learning features Basic use of embedded links to related book chapters. Very good use of interwiki links to Wikipedia articles. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words and technical concepts would make the text more interactive. Basic use of images. Number sequentially. Basic use of tables. Needs caption. Basic use of feature boxes. Good use of quizzes. Focus on questions directly related to the topic. Good use of case studies or examples. But how do these case studies reflect what theory and research says about the topic? Explain. Grammar Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[1]. Proofreading Remove unnecessary capitalisation (e.g., ). Add necessary capitalisation (e.g., united states). Remove unnecessary full stops. APA style Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Figures and tables Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation). Use APA style Table captions. See example. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1). Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: For citations in parentheses, a comma is needed between the author and the year. A full stop is needed after "et al" (i.e., "et al."). Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. References are not in full APA style. For example: Two different referencing styles are used. Adopt one style. Check and correct use of capitalisation. Check and correct consistency of formatting. Social contribution ~3 logged social contributions without direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:58, 14 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic presentation. This presentation makes effective use of simple tools. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes. Structure and content Address an international rather than an Australian audience. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly. It is difficult to follow the theoretical logic. What is the impact of PTSD on adolescent AM? Some relevant research findings are reported. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Communication The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio. Well paced. Excellent intonation enhances listener interest and engagement. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. Production quality Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was mediocre. There is some distortion (e.g,. at very beginning) and some variation in volume levels. Review microphone set-up. Visual display quality was OK - see earlier comment about font size. Image sources and their copyright status are not provided. Copyright may have been violated, so either acknowledge the image sources and their licenses in the video description or remove the presentation. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data. A link to the book chapter is not provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A very brief written description of the presentation is/not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:15, 19 November 2019 (UTC)