Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Good Lives Model of offender rehabilitation

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hi user MMMRH9416! I'm interested in keeping up with your page! sounds like a very interesting topic. I did a quick search of the good lives model and found an article that might be useful to start you off! Ward, T., Mann, R. E., & Gannon, T. A. (2007). The good lives model of offender rehabilitation: Clinical implications. Aggression and Violent Behavior, 12(1), 87-107. doi:10.1016/j.avb.2006.03.004. Hope this helps! --U3133258 (discusscontribs) 12:04, 3 September 2017 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:47, 17 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Very good
  2. The book table of contents has been adjusted so that the sub-title listed matches the sub-title of the chapter page

User page

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  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

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  1. Use a numbered list
  2. Directness of links is excellent
  3. The other way to create to direct evidence of the contributions made is to view the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines.

Section headings

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  1. See earlier comment about heading casing
  2. 2-level heading structure is usually about right - sufficiently detailed without being overly complex - e.g., perhaps consider simplifying the current 3-level structure down to 2 levels
  3. Section on past problems and other background info is probably not needed - can be incorporated into other sections (this appears to have been subsequently removed)
  4. Something like a basic 4 section main body structure could be around background to the model (i.e., the problem), the model (particularly theoretical basis), applications of the model, and research about the pros and cons of the model, with sub-sections for longer sections
  5. Consider incorporating case study/ies earlier on to help provide practical examples to engage the reader
  6. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Limited development of key points at time of topic development submission
  2. Need to demonstrably connect the GLM with motivation and motivation theory, particularly in the Overview and Conclusion, as well as emphasise the take-home messages in relation to motivation to fit with the book theme
  3. Some paragraphs are overly long - consider expressing one main idea in three to five sentences per paragraph
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  5. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image

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  1. Excellent
  2. Consider increasing image size from default

References

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  1. None provided at time of topic development submission
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use full stop after year in brackets
    2. Do not italicise commas
    3. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. None provided at time of topic development submission
    2. Include destination in brackets e.g., (Book chapter, 2015), (Wikipedia) etc.
    3. Use bullet-points
  2. External links
    1. None provided at time of topic development submission

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:47, 17 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an excellent chapter. The main area for improvement is to reduce it down to below the maximum word count.
  2. The title casing and sub-title text were adjusted to match the book table of contents.
  3. The chapter was more than 1000 words over the word count, therefore for marking purposes content from half-way through Phase 5 onwards was ignored. One way to reduce the word count would be remove or summarise content that does not directly address the topic (the chapter sub-title). In addition, see these copyedits for further suggested edits to help reduce the word count.
  1. Theory was comprehensively described and explained, with lots of practical examples.
  1. Available research was very well described and integrated.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression
    1. Well written, but overly long.
  2. Layout is excellent.
  3. Learning features
    1. Wiki-based dot points and numbered lists were added; it looked this content may have been pasted from a word processor without use of wiki mark-up.
    2. Adding more interwiki links would make the text more interactive.
  4. Spelling, grammar and proofreading
    1. Use Australian spelling e.g., ize -> ise
    2. Check and correct consistency in spelling e.g., wellbeing vs. well-being
    3. Check and correct consistency in use of commas for lists involving three or more items
  5. APA style
    1. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order (note that Ward, 2002 should be cited before Ward & X)
    2. Do not include author initials in citations
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    4. There reference list is in very good APA style but also use the new doi format


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a solid, effective presentation.
  1. Abbreviate/summarise the preliminary theoretical material to allow greater focus on the GLM, examples, research, and applying the GLM to everyday life.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  1. The presentation is well narrated and makes effective use of text-based visuals.
  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Mute the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio.
  3. Autoplay didn't auto-advance the slides.
  4. Add link to book chapter in the description of the presentation.
  5. Add acknowledgement of image sources.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:14, 28 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

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