Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Benzodiazepines and emotion

Latest comment: 1 year ago by SaucyTuRkLeBiRd in topic Benzodiazepines: further notes

Jordan Peterson and benzodiazepenes

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Jordan Peterson's story could be a useful case study e.g., https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/03/beyond-benzos-jordan-peterson/ -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:31, 13 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

If you would like to use Jordan Peterson as a case study, there are images of him here: commons:Category:Jordan_Peterson -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:55, 28 September 2022 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback.

 
  1. The title is correctly worded and formatted
  2. The sub-title is correctly worded and formatted
  1. Excellent – used effectively
  2. Description about self provided
  3. Consider linking to your eportfolio page and/or any other professional online profile or resume such as LinkedIn. This is not required, but it can be useful to interlink your professional networks.
  4. Link provided to book chapter
  1. Excellent – at least one contribution has been made and summarised in a numbered list with direct link(s) to evidence
  1. Logical 2-level heading structure – could benefit from further development by expanding the structure
  1. Promising development of key points for each section, with relevant citations
  2. I recommend using the Studiosity service and/or a service like Grammarly to help improve the quality of written expression because there are a lot of grammar and spelling errors.
  3. Overview - Consider adding:
    1. an evocative description of the problem and what will be covered
    2. focus questions
    3. an example or case study
  4. As we discussed during drop-in, avoid providing too much background information. Briefly summarise general concepts and provide internal wiki links to relevant book chapters and/or Wikipedia pages for further information. Then focus most of the content of this on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title.
  5. There seems to be reasonably good coverage of theory and research.
  6. Basic use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles and/or to other relevant book chapters
  7. Promising use of examples/case studies
  8. Conclusion (the most important section):
    1. Underway
  1. Excellent – A relevant figure is presented and it is appropriately captioned
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text
  1. Very good
  2. For APA referencing style, check and correct:
    1. capitalisation
    2. page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. See also
    1. Excellent
  2. External links
    1. Good
    2. Academic articles should be cited in References rather than used in External links

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:05, 25 September 2022 (UTC)Reply

APA formatting

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Hi, It looks like you are well underway! Don't forget that your reference list, tables, and figures need to be formatted according to the prescribed APA format. The UC referencing guide can be found here, and don't forget to number your figures and italicise the word figure and the figure number (e.g., Figure 1.). An example of how to correctly format a table can be found here. U3216256 (discusscontribs) 02:33, 2 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

U943292 Contribution / Suggestions.

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Hi Grace,


Some really tiny suggestions:


Overview reads as "Benzodiazepines (BZDs). You then start referring to Benzodiazepines as Benzos. I'd suggest further references should link back to the abbreviation you originally specified. That is, if you keep "Benzodiazepines (BZDs"), then refer to them as BZDs; otherwise change to "Benzodiazepines (Benzos)"


Case Study 1.

  1. "He asked for an increased in the dose". I'd suggest "He asked for an increase in the dose"
  2. "and not preoccupied his family with his anxiety". I'd suggest "and not preoccupy or distract his family with his anxiety"
  3. "He asked the dose to be increased again for the third time". I'd suggest "He asked for the dose to be increased for the third time"
  4. "Peterson was prescribed benzos for anxiety and used it for three years and stated to benefit him and appeared harmless". I'd suggest "Peterson used benzos for three years to address his anxiety, he found it beneficial and thought it was free from harmful effects".
  5. I think this sentence "Surprisingly, Peterson experienced increased negative emotions trying to adjust" could be clearer
  6. "In 2019, he quit benzos and was prescribed ketamine but started to experienced acute withdrawal which he described as a “trip to hell” including, intolerable anxiety, uncontrollable restlessness, akathisia( need to move), overwhelming thoughts of self -destruction, and unhappiness, increased in appetite and exhaustion". I'd suggest "In 2019, Peterson quit benzos and was prescribed ketamine instead. He started to experience acute withdrawal, which he described as a "trip to hell". He encountered: intolerable anxiety, uncontrollable restlessness, akathisia( need to move), overwhelming thoughts of self -destruction, unhappiness, and an increase in appetite and exhaustion".
  7. "A friend advises Peterson to return to benzos but use them in less doses". I'd suggest "A friend advised Peterson to return to benzos"


What are Benzodiazepines sub-heading

  1. "Benzodiazepines elicits core emotions and produces feelings of euphoria". I'd suggest "Benzodiazepines elicit core emotions and produce feelings of euphoria"
  2. I'd suggest re-reading this section out-loud to make sure its grammatically correct.


Example 1.

  1. "give him a bit of confident before going out". I'd suggest "give him a bit of confidence before going out".


I realise your work is at the rough draft stage. I'd maybe suggest copy and paste to a word document so that you can give it a grammar check / once-over before submitting the final version. U943292 (discusscontribs) 23:33, 2 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for the feedback. 2001:8003:1D93:6900:291A:1E71:3388:84C (discuss) 10:48, 3 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

General feedback

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Hi Grace, at the moment I think your chapter is looking okay. Outside of other people's suggestions, mine would be maybe add another quiz earlier into the chapter (it's considered better to spread them out rather than only have one at the end) and just check all of the spelling and grammer, etc. I know people above have said that so I won't go into details or anything, but things like your first figure, where there is a space missing between the word figure and the number, etc. Good luck and I hope this helps! Ana028 (discusscontribs) 00:02, 5 October 2022 (UTC)Reply


Hi, your chapter is looking good, I only have a few recommendations for your chapter. I recommend that you add more links within your text to related Wikipedia pages. Some links I recommend are for anxiolytic, parts of the brain, medications, and other words that would be difficult for a layperson to understand. It may also be good to include a short introduction/explanation of your case study and the web link in your overview. At the moment there is nothing linking your case study to your chapter. I hope this helps :) --GabbieUC (discusscontribs) 09:08, 10 October 2022 (UTC)Reply


Hey! looks like your chapter is coming together fantastically, well done! Only pointer I have is consider moving the overview above the table of contents :) --U3190773 (discusscontribs) 05:13, 16 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Formatting tips

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If you click edit source above you will be able to see what I'm talking about.

The reference list needs a little help because title of journals and volume numbers should be italicised. You can do this by putting these little marks on either side of the part that needs to be italicised note that you need to put them both on either side, eg Journal of X and that these are NOT quotation marks or inverted commas.. they are some other weird thing... just copy and paste them from this comment and it should work. :)

I also noticed that your figures have not been mentioned within the paragraphs of your chapter, so you should throw refences to the images eg (see Figure 4). Noah O'Brien (discusscontribs) 07:22, 16 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Thank you Noah, The tips you gave me did work. Ajeofula22 (discusscontribs) 08:29, 16 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Book chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a solid chapter that makes good use of psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world phenomenon or problem.
  2. For additional feedback, see the following comments and these copyedits.
  1. Well developed Overview.
  2. Clearly explains the problem or phenomenon.
  3. How prevalent is the use of benzos?
  4. Engages reader interest by introducing a case study and/or example and/or using an image.
  5. Clear focus question(s).
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  2. Build more strongly on other drug-related chapters (e.g., by embedding links to other chapters in this category: Category:Motivation and emotion/Book/Drugs).
  1. Reasonable depth is provided about most of the selected theory(ies), however some sections consist entirely of bullet-points  .
  2. Tables and/or lists are used effectively to help clearly convey key theoretical information.
  3. Some useful examples are provided to illustrate theoretical concepts.
  1. Reasonable review of relevant research.
  2. Some claims lack sufficient citation.
  3. More detail about key studies would be ideal.
  4. Greater emphasis on effect sizes, major reviews, and/or meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Basic critical thinking about research is evident.
  2. Critical thinking about research could be further evidenced by:
    1. describing the methodology (e.g., sample, measures) in important studies
    2. discussing the direction of relationships
    3. considering the strength of relationships
    4. acknowledging limitations
    5. pointing out critiques/counterarguments
    6. suggesting specific directions for future research
  3. Several claims are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. There is basic integration between theory and research.
  1. Key points are well summarised.
  2. Clear take-home message(s).
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is basic.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. The chapter could be improved by developing some of the bullet-points into full paragraph format.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead:
      1. it is, most often, not needed at all, or
      2. use section linking.
    5. "People" is often a better term than "individuals".
    6. Use gender-neutral language (e.g., mankind -> humankind, s/he -> they).
  2. Layout
    1. Sections which branch into sub-sections should include an introductory paragraph before branching into the sub-sections.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Grammar-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages. Another option is to share draft work with peers and ask for their assistance.
    2. Use serial commas[1] – they are part of APA style and are generally recommended by grammaticists. Here's an explanatory video (1 min).
    3. Abbreviations
      1. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e., et al., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
      2. Use abbreviations sparingly. Do not use abbreviations for minor terms that aren't used very much in the chapter.
  4. Spelling
    1. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags). Spell-checking tools are available in most internet browsers and word processing software packages.
    2. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
  5. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
  6. APA style
    1. Replace double spaces with single spaces.
    2. Figures
      1. Figures are well used.
      2. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
      3. Figure captions use the correct format.
      4. Each Figure is referred to at least once within the main text using APA style.
      5. Refer to each Figure using APA style (e.g., do not use italics, check and correct capitalisation) (e.g., see Figure 1).
    3. Tables
      1. Each Table is referred to at least once within the main text.
    4. Citations are not in full APA style (7th ed.). For example:
      1. If there are three or more authors, cite the first author followed by et al., then year. For example, either:
        1. in-text, Smith et al. (2020), or
        2. in parentheses (Smith et al., 2020)
    5. References use correct APA style.
    6. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation[2]
      2. Page numbers should be separated by an en-dash (–) rather than a hyphen (-)
  1. Overall, the use of learning features is very good.
  2. Very good use of image(s).
  3. Excellent use of table(s).
  4. Excellent use of feature box(es).
  5. Good use of quiz(zes).
  6. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  7. Very good use of interwiki links in the "See also" section. Move external links.
  8. Very good/Good/Basic/No use of external links in the "External links" section. Move academic sources into references.
  1. No logged social contributions.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:11, 30 October 2022 (UTC)Reply

Multimedia presentation feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation
  1. An opening slide with the title is displayed. Also display and narrate the sub-title — this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. This presentation has an engaging introduction to hook audience interest
  3. Establish a context for the topic, to help the viewer understand
  4. Focus questions are presented
  1. Comments about the book chapter may also apply to this section
  2. The presentation addresses the topic
  3. An appropriate amount of content is presented — not too much or too little
  4. The presentation is well structured
  5. The presentation makes very good use of relevant psychological theory
  6. The presentation makes basic use of relevant psychological research
  7. The presentation includes citations
  8. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies or practical advice
  9. The presentation provides practical, easy to understand information
  1. A Conclusion slide is presented with good take-home message(s). Consider making the Conclusion a separate slide.
  1. The audio is easy to follow, and interesting to listen to
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated audio
  3. Audio communication is clear and well paced
  4. Good intonation enhances listener interest and engagement
  5. The narration is well polished
  6. Audio recording quality was excellent
  1. Overall, visual display quality is very good
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read
  4. Consider using a sans-serif typeface to make the text easier to read
  5. The amount of text presented per slide makes it easy to read and listen at the same time
  6. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images and/or diagrams
  7. The presentation is well produced using simple tools
  1. The chapter title is used, but the sub-title (or a shortened version of it) is not used, as the name of the presentation. The sub-title (or an abbreviation of the sub-title that fits within the 100 character limit) would help to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. A brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.
  3. Links to and from the book chapter are provided
  1. Image sources and their copyright status are communicated
  2. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:55, 7 November 2022 (UTC)Reply

Benzodiazepines: further notes

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I think what happened to Jordan Peterson really emphasised and highlighted to the public eye the huge dependence and addiction potential for this class of drugs. Although this has been discussed for a while now (for example, see O’Brien (2005)), I don't think people realise just how dangerous they can be. Additionally, I think it's also important to note that approximately 1% of people have a significant paradoxical reaction to benzodiazepines, where they basically do the opposite of their intended effect and can inflict great suffering (which also happened to Jordan Peterson). I've seen people mistreat Valium (Diazepam, aka 'Vallies'), which seem to be particularly prevalent in Australia, without knowing the harm potential and become eriously negatively affected as a result. Perhaps we aren't communicating the dangers of prescription medication? Or maybe people assume that if it is prescribed then it can't be dangerous? I wonder how such dangers might be more effectively communicated?

Reference: O’Brien, C. P. (2005). Benzodiazepine use, abuse, and dependence. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 66(2), 28-33. SaucyTuRkLeBiRd (discusscontribs) 10:38, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

--SaucyTuRkLeBiRd (discusscontribs) 10:39, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

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