Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2022/Benzodiazepines and emotion
Jordan Peterson and benzodiazepenes
editJordan Peterson's story could be a useful case study e.g., https://www.madinamerica.com/2021/03/beyond-benzos-jordan-peterson/ -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:31, 13 September 2022 (UTC)
- If you would like to use Jordan Peterson as a case study, there are images of him here: commons:Category:Jordan_Peterson -- Jtneill - Talk - c 04:55, 28 September 2022 (UTC)
Topic development feedback
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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to see editing changes made whilst reviewing this chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments below may also be about all material on the page at the time of providing this feedback. |
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APA formatting
editHi, It looks like you are well underway! Don't forget that your reference list, tables, and figures need to be formatted according to the prescribed APA format. The UC referencing guide can be found here, and don't forget to number your figures and italicise the word figure and the figure number (e.g., Figure 1.). An example of how to correctly format a table can be found here. U3216256 (discuss • contribs) 02:33, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
U943292 Contribution / Suggestions.
editHi Grace,
Some really tiny suggestions:
Overview reads as "Benzodiazepines (BZDs). You then start referring to Benzodiazepines as Benzos. I'd suggest further references should link back to the abbreviation you originally specified. That is, if you keep "Benzodiazepines (BZDs"), then refer to them as BZDs; otherwise change to "Benzodiazepines (Benzos)"
Case Study 1.
- "He asked for an increased in the dose". I'd suggest "He asked for an increase in the dose"
- "and not preoccupied his family with his anxiety". I'd suggest "and not preoccupy or distract his family with his anxiety"
- "He asked the dose to be increased again for the third time". I'd suggest "He asked for the dose to be increased for the third time"
- "Peterson was prescribed benzos for anxiety and used it for three years and stated to benefit him and appeared harmless". I'd suggest "Peterson used benzos for three years to address his anxiety, he found it beneficial and thought it was free from harmful effects".
- I think this sentence "Surprisingly, Peterson experienced increased negative emotions trying to adjust" could be clearer
- "In 2019, he quit benzos and was prescribed ketamine but started to experienced acute withdrawal which he described as a “trip to hell” including, intolerable anxiety, uncontrollable restlessness, akathisia( need to move), overwhelming thoughts of self -destruction, and unhappiness, increased in appetite and exhaustion". I'd suggest "In 2019, Peterson quit benzos and was prescribed ketamine instead. He started to experience acute withdrawal, which he described as a "trip to hell". He encountered: intolerable anxiety, uncontrollable restlessness, akathisia( need to move), overwhelming thoughts of self -destruction, unhappiness, and an increase in appetite and exhaustion".
- "A friend advises Peterson to return to benzos but use them in less doses". I'd suggest "A friend advised Peterson to return to benzos"
What are Benzodiazepines sub-heading
- "Benzodiazepines elicits core emotions and produces feelings of euphoria". I'd suggest "Benzodiazepines elicit core emotions and produce feelings of euphoria"
- I'd suggest re-reading this section out-loud to make sure its grammatically correct.
Example 1.
- "give him a bit of confident before going out". I'd suggest "give him a bit of confidence before going out".
I realise your work is at the rough draft stage. I'd maybe suggest copy and paste to a word document so that you can give it a grammar check / once-over before submitting the final version. U943292 (discuss • contribs) 23:33, 2 October 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you for the feedback. 2001:8003:1D93:6900:291A:1E71:3388:84C (discuss) 10:48, 3 October 2022 (UTC)
General feedback
editHi Grace, at the moment I think your chapter is looking okay. Outside of other people's suggestions, mine would be maybe add another quiz earlier into the chapter (it's considered better to spread them out rather than only have one at the end) and just check all of the spelling and grammer, etc. I know people above have said that so I won't go into details or anything, but things like your first figure, where there is a space missing between the word figure and the number, etc. Good luck and I hope this helps! Ana028 (discuss • contribs) 00:02, 5 October 2022 (UTC)
Hi, your chapter is looking good, I only have a few recommendations for your chapter. I recommend that you add more links within your text to related Wikipedia pages. Some links I recommend are for anxiolytic, parts of the brain, medications, and other words that would be difficult for a layperson to understand. It may also be good to include a short introduction/explanation of your case study and the web link in your overview. At the moment there is nothing linking your case study to your chapter. I hope this helps :) --GabbieUC (discuss • contribs) 09:08, 10 October 2022 (UTC)
Hey! looks like your chapter is coming together fantastically, well done! Only pointer I have is consider moving the overview above the table of contents :) --U3190773 (discuss • contribs) 05:13, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
Formatting tips
editIf you click edit source above you will be able to see what I'm talking about.
The reference list needs a little help because title of journals and volume numbers should be italicised. You can do this by putting these little marks on either side of the part that needs to be italicised note that you need to put them both on either side, eg Journal of X and that these are NOT quotation marks or inverted commas.. they are some other weird thing... just copy and paste them from this comment and it should work. :)
I also noticed that your figures have not been mentioned within the paragraphs of your chapter, so you should throw refences to the images eg (see Figure 4). Noah O'Brien (discuss • contribs) 07:22, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
- Thank you Noah, The tips you gave me did work. Ajeofula22 (discuss • contribs) 08:29, 16 October 2022 (UTC)
Book chapter review and feedback
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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Chapter marks will be available via UCLearn along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements. |
Overalledit
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:11, 30 October 2022 (UTC)
Multimedia presentation feedback
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener. |
Overalledit
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-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:55, 7 November 2022 (UTC)
Benzodiazepines: further notes
editI think what happened to Jordan Peterson really emphasised and highlighted to the public eye the huge dependence and addiction potential for this class of drugs. Although this has been discussed for a while now (for example, see O’Brien (2005)), I don't think people realise just how dangerous they can be. Additionally, I think it's also important to note that approximately 1% of people have a significant paradoxical reaction to benzodiazepines, where they basically do the opposite of their intended effect and can inflict great suffering (which also happened to Jordan Peterson). I've seen people mistreat Valium (Diazepam, aka 'Vallies'), which seem to be particularly prevalent in Australia, without knowing the harm potential and become eriously negatively affected as a result. Perhaps we aren't communicating the dangers of prescription medication? Or maybe people assume that if it is prescribed then it can't be dangerous? I wonder how such dangers might be more effectively communicated?
Reference: O’Brien, C. P. (2005). Benzodiazepine use, abuse, and dependence. Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 66(2), 28-33. SaucyTuRkLeBiRd (discuss • contribs) 10:38, 23 August 2023 (UTC)
--SaucyTuRkLeBiRd (discuss • contribs) 10:39, 23 August 2023 (UTC)