Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2020/Epigenetic impacts on emotional well-being

Stability Overtime

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It may be interesting to look into research that focuses on changes over time, to see if the found relationship between epigenetics and emotional wellbeing is stable over time.--U3187381 (discusscontribs) 07:33, 30 August 2020 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for sentence casing. For example, the wikitext should be:

== Cats and mice ==

rather than

== Cats and Mice ==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:08, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Capitalisation, formatting, and spelling of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents

User page

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  1. Created
  2. Minimal, but sufficient
  3. Description about self provided
  4. Link provided to book chapter

Social contribution

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  1. Summarised with direct link(s) to evidence.
  2. When suggesting a link, provide an active hyperlink.

Section headings

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  1. Under-developed, 2-level heading structure - develop further.
  2. Aim for 3 to 6 top-level headings between the Overview and Conclus, with up to a similar number of sub-headings for large sections.
  3. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  4. Replace generic template content with planned content.
  5. Avoid providing too much background content - focus directly on the topic in the chapter sub-title.

Key points

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  1. Limited development
  2. Overview - promising. Consider adding:
    1. an image.
    2. a case study.
  3. Remove or adapt generic template content.
  4. Limited development of theory and research.
  5. Consider including more case studies e.g., some of the content in the research, history, and future sections could make for interesting case studies in feature boxes to accompany the explanation of theory and research.

Image

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  1. An image (figure) is presented.
  2. Caption uses APA style. Check spelling.
  3. Caption could better explain how the image connects to key points being made in the main text.
  4. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. Weren't cited.
  2. For full APA style, use:
    1. alphabetical order
    2. correct capitalisation
    3. the new recommended format for dois

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. One of the links doesn't work
    2. Also link to relevant book chapters
  2. External links
    1. None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:08, 12 September 2020 (UTC)Reply

Editing

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Hi there, I have read over your book chapter and wanted to say awesome work! While read through I have made some minor changes to some sentence structure in the overview, Epigenetic impacts on emotional wellbeing and conclusion. As well as some structural changes in the Relevant theories on emotional well-being. these changes can be found using the following links:

Hopefully these changes have helped but feel free to disregard any that do not work for you. U3191761 (discusscontribs) 23:52, 17 October 2020 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this chapter provides an insufficient account of a difficult/technical topic.
  2. The chapter could be substantially improved if it was more carefully proofread and rewritten in order to use a reasonable quality of written expression.
  3. Provide less general emotion theory and more specific theory about how epigenetics can influence emotion. The emphasis seems to be on negative effects but perhaps also consider - can there also be positive effects?
  4. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  5. For additional feedback, see following comments and these copyedits.
  1. The Reeve (2018) textbook is overused as a citation - instead, utilise primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  2. The emotion theory basically summarises several chapters of the Reeve (2018) textbook. Instead, focus the theory around the topic and make use of primary academic sources.
  3. The epigenetic theory is a little better, but sounds suspiciously like some it might be lightly regurgitated from elsewhere? Where technical terms are used, explain them. Otherwise, use simpler terms.
  4. This could be a stronger chapter by identifying a smaller number of top-level resources and providing a more focused consideration.
  5. Ideally, provide a simple, layperson-understandable, description of epigenetics and how/why it might affect emotion.
  1. Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research.
  2. The research component is stronger than the theoretical component. Several appropriate/relevant studies are discussed.
  3. More work could be done towards synthesis of the research findings. Identify and emphasise the top-level work in this field e.g., https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763416301397
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the quality of written expression is below professional standard. Seeking Study Help assistance is recommended.
    2. Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective[1].
    3. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned"). Instead, use section linking.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. The strongest aspect of the chapter is its use of links.
    2. For numbered lists, use Wikiversity formatting per Tutorial 1.
    3. See also - rename links to be more user friendly and add "(Book chapter, year)" after the link
    4. Basic use of image(s).
    5. No use of table(s).
    6. Good use of feature box(es).
    7. Good use of quiz(zes).
    8. Good use of general case studies. Perhaps also consider an individual case study(ies) that provides an everyday, relatable, illustrative example of epigenetics/emotion in action.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Due to the extent of problems, professional coaching assistance is recommended e.g., through UC Study Help.
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Use serial commas[2] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's vs individuals').[3].
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
    2. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    2. Remove unnecessary capitalisation.
    3. Figures and tables
      1. Refer to each Table and Figure at least once within the main text (e.g., see Figure 1).
    4. Citations use correct APA style.
    5. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. Include hyperlinked dois.
  1. ~6 minor, logged, last minute social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:41, 2 November 2020 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's UCLearn site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation mainly because it presents too much content visually and auditorily.
  1. There is too much content, in too much detail, presented within the allocated time frame. Zoom out and provide a higher-level presentation at a slower pace. It is best to do a small amount well than a large amount poorly.
  2. The presentation is well structured.
  3. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation makes good use of theory.
  5. The presentation makes basic use of research.
  6. The presentation makes basic use of one or more examples or case studies.
  7. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  1. The presentation is hard to follow because so much visual and auditory content is presented so quickly.
  2. The presentation makes basic use of text based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. Consider using greater intonation to enhance listener interest and engagement.
  5. Some of the font size could be larger to make it easier to read.
  6. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images.
  1. The wording and/or formatting/grammar of the title/sub-title is inconsistent between the name of the video, the opening slide, and/or the book chapter.
  2. Audio recording quality was OK.
  3. Visual display quality was OK.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is provided in the video description but not in the meta-data.
  5. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A very brief written description of the presentation is provided. Consider expanding.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:37, 20 November 2020 (UTC)Reply

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