Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Stalking motivation

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:36, 19 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Comments

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Hi! I really enjoyed reading your topic. Especially, I liked how you explained the motives why stalkers stalk and the different types of stalkers out there. There were minor grammar errors present, but overall I liked the layout of your book chapter. Good luck on the progress of your topic, I look forward to your multimedia presentation! --U3161960 (discusscontribs) 09:30, 20 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Topic Development Feedback

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Fantastic work on your book chapter! Your use of pictures and text boxes makes it super exciting to look at, and you can tell that you worked really hard on this assignment. I really like that you included the coping strategies victims use, this was very interesting. If it's not too late, maybe you could find a quote from a previous victim and insert that somewhere (perhaps in the coping strategies section)? I'm looking forward to seeing what you come up with when the 3 minute multimedia video is inserted! Goodluck and I hope you get a good mark for this assignment, you earnt it. --Maddkilby (discusscontribs) 12:30, 19 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Your topic development looks really good so far. You have incorporated a wide use of references already- your research must be coming along nicely. I appreciate your use of inserting boxes into the page, especially making one into a quiz to test knowledge. Great idea. However, if possible, I'd suggest changing the one of them to a different colour as having them the same colour is slightly harsh on the eyes. The external and internal links you have incorporated to support reader learning are great. I definitely enjoyed that the Netflix series YOU made it into the external link (bring on season 2). The headings are very clear, and it makes it easier for the reader to skip to sections that interest them. I think they will cover the topic nicely. Overall, I think your topic development is really well done, and I hope you score well on this assessment. Can't wait to see the final chapter, I'll definitely be reading the whole thing. Kaiti. --KBPrimrose (discusscontribs) 10:24, 28 August 2019 (UTC)User:KBPrimroseReply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Excellent

User page

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  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

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  1. Excellent

Section headings

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  1. Well developed 2-level heading structure, with meaningful headings that directly relate to the core topic.
  2. See earlier comment about Heading casing.
  3. Perhaps "The stalker" should "Motivations of stalkers" - i.e., more targetted at the topic
  4. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.

Key points

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  1. Overview - Consider adding focus questions
  2. Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations.
  3. Reduce the preliminary content describing stalking (e.g., summarise and link to relevant Wikipedia articles) so that this chapter can concentrate on the motivations and using motivational theory towards prevention strategies.
  4. Excellent use of in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  5. Excellent use of examples/case studies, but also consider including a successful intervention/prevention case study.
  6. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section.

Image

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  1. Provided, with an APA style caption (except change colon to period)
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. Good.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use correct italicisation
    3. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
    4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Use bullet-points
    2. Also link to other relevant Wikiversity book chapters
  2. External links
    1. Use bullet-points
    2. Rename links so that they are more user friendly

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:49, 26 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Book Chapter Final Feedback

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Just a follow up from my earlier feedback, now that you've had time to complete it. It looks great. Honestly, well done. The colour schemes you decided on were great, the use of case studies, quizzes and images is engaging and the layout is easily readable. Your information is neatly presented and in-depth. It clearly covers the topic well, and it is highly interesting. I can tell that you've put a lot of effort into this chapter, and that you were actually interested in learning about the topic, whilst making it easy to teach others. I truly hope you score well on this assessment. You still deserve it. Kaiti. Thanks kaiti! I appreciate your feedback and I hope that you did well with yours as well! -glenda


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter that demonstrates a very good understanding of the psychological literature about stalking. The main area for improvement is in the quality of written expression which is currently below professional standard.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. The typology models are very interesting, but perhaps they could be better organised and synthesised. As it stands, the chapter leaves the reader with lots of different models and types.
  2. A very good range of theoretical motivational perspectives are considered.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  1. Written expression
    1. Overall, the chapter is undermined by the poor quality of written expression.
    2. Use third person perspective rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
    3. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
  2. Learning features
    1. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Very good use of images.
    4. No use of tables. Tables could be a good way to summarise the stalking typologies.
    5. Excellent use of feature boxes.
    6. Very good use of quizzes.
    7. Very good use of case studies or examples.
  3. Grammar
    1. The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists.
  4. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    2. Citations are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Remove spaces before commas; add a space after a comma
      2. In-text citations should be in alphabetical order.
      3. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
      4. A serial comma is needed before "&" or "and" for citations involving three or more authors.
    3. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. See new doi format.
  1. ~10 logged social contributions without indirect links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:07, 7 November 2019 (UTC)Reply


--U3165244 (discusscontribs) 23:36, 11 November 2019 (UTC)Reply


Hi thank you for this feed back! I will work hard on my grammar as this is always my weakness. I would like to let you know that I had so much fun working on this assessment. Thank you for giving us opportunity to have this experience. It is all worth it! Thanks!


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a very good presentation.
  2. This presentation makes effective use of simple tools.
  3. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.
  1. The presentation is well structured.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. Opening statistics - are they worldwide?
  4. Some of the early slides seem to focus on online/cyberstalking (even though the narration is focused more generally?).
  5. What are the stalker types (explain e.g., Zona's, Mullen's)?
  6. Well selected range of content - perhaps too much for the time?
  7. A Conclusion slide is presented with a take-home message(s).
  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and animated image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. Add a Title slide.
  2. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was excellent.
  4. Video recording quality was excellent.
  5. Image sources are implied by hosting on powtoon.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  7. A link to the book chapter is not provided.
  8. A link from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:04, 17 November 2019 (UTC)Reply

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