Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Sedentary behaviour change

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hey there, I took a Health Psychology class last year and thought I might make some suggestions that may be helpful to you. I think a great motivational theory to run with would be Bandura's Self-Efficacy (you are probably already on to this). In relation to specifically changing sedentary behaviour, you could expand on the self-efficacy concept to include a broader theory of health behaviour. I would suggest having a look at the Health Belief Model as this talks nicely about how self-efficacy fits within the overall concept of health behaviour. I had a quick look and there is a good image that you can use to illustrate this model in Wikimedia Commons - just search Health Belief Model. Hopefully this helps with some ideas on how you could structure your chapter. Cheers, --U3173480 (discusscontribs) 06:58, 26 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:49, 22 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Not provided; I've added it

User page

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  1. Created, with description about self and link to book chapter

Social contribution

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  1. Well done
  2. Also try making direct edits to improve a page

Section headings

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  1. Basic, 1-level heading structure - could benefit from further development, perhaps using a 2-level structure.
  2. Avoid providing too much background/generic material. Instead briefly summarise background concepts and provide wiki links to further information.

Key points

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  1. Overall, the key points suggest a good plan for the chapter.
  2. Some of the key points warrant closer citation to support the claims.
  3. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  4. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  5. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image

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  1. 1 image included.
  2. Use APA style for captions.
  3. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text

References

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  1. Very good.
  2. To improve, adopt full Wikipedia style referencing e.g., w:Psychology#References

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. None provided
  2. External links
    1. Rename links so that they are more user friendly
    2. Include source in brackets

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:49, 22 September 2019 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. Overview - consider building on the sub-title by establishing focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure.
  3. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  4. This chapter is well under the maximum word count.
  1. Limited discussion of psychological theory - what motivational theory or theories are considered and most relevant to sedentary behaviour?
  2. For interventions, perhaps consider self-tracking (see Tutorial 3).
  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. Written expression
    1. The quality of written expression probably needs further work to be of professional standard.
    2. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    3. Simplicity of written can be improved. For example, "In addition, there are also psychological health risks of obesity as well." could simply be "There are also psychological health risks of obesity."
  2. Layout
    1. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
    3. Otherwise, the chapter is reasonably well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links (see Tutorial 1).
    2. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    3. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    4. Basic use of a single image.
    5. Basic use of a single table.
    6. No use of feature boxes.
    7. No use of quizzes.
    8. No use of case studies or examples.
    9. No use of images, tables, feature boxes, quizzes, case studies, or examples.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    3. Check and correct use of that vs. who.
    4. Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style.
  5. Spelling
    1. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    2. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  7. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions. See example.
    2. Use APA style for Table captions. See example.
    3. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    4. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    5. References are not in full APA style.
  1. 1 logged contribution (credited for Topic development)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:52, 4 November 2019 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  2. This presentation makes use of simple tools.
  3. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.
  1. Reasonably well selected content - not too much or too little.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. Citations? (e.g., for the standing desk research study).
  4. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  1. The presentation makes basic use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Well paced.
  3. Some of the font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  4. The visual communication is supplemented by images.
  1. Communicate the chapter title and sub-title in both the video title and on the opening slide this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio recording quality was good.
  3. General info about image sources and their copyright status is provided. The specific licenses and working hyperlinks in the description would strengthen the presentation.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  5. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A very brief written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 08:34, 18 November 2019 (UTC)Reply

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