Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Pathological lying motivation

Latest comment: 4 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:31, 29 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Some suggestions

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Hi, one suggestion I would make is to consider whether the treatment options you listed actually work. That is does the treatment options address the motivation behind lying in the first place? Your chapter looks great! --BMPENFOLD (discusscontribs) 03:21, 13 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Hi, I have corrected the spacing in your references and also inserted hanging indents. This TED Talk could be beneficial to put under the external links tab https://www.ted.com/talks/pamela_meyer_how_to_spot_a_liar?language=en#t-496394. Also, you should consider revising the use of italics throughout this topic. --U3173837 (discusscontribs) 17:55, 31 August 2019 (UTC)Reply

Hi there, Really interesting topic and some very interesting research you've put forward. Just as I was going through your article I noticed that you don't have DOI's or "Retrieved from" on all of the references in your list. Also, the second subheading starting with "what motivates people" is missing some wording, I would suggest wording it as "what motivates people to lie so frequently". Thanks --Jackmccann021 (discusscontribs) 08:33, 1 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

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Hi, here is a link to check out that I thought was interesting and could benefit your topic. My topic is on the other end of the spectrum: honesty motivation. --U3169316 (discusscontribs) 21:39, 1 September 2019 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

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The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title and sub-title

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  1. Sub-title did not match the book table of contents - fixed
  2. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.

User page

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  1. Created, with brief description about self.
  2. I've added a link to the book chapter.

Social contribution

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  1. Well done

Section headings

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  1. Basic, 2-level heading structure - could benefit from further development - Avoid having sections with 1 sub-heading - use 0 or 2+ sub-headings.
  2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Remove Introduction. Either include the material in the Overview of other sections (but note that the Overview should not have sub-sections).

Key points

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  1. Key points are incomplete (e.g., Overview and Conclusion)
  2. Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles.
  3. Consider including more examples/case studies.
  4. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end.

Image

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  1. Provided, with an APA style caption
  2. Cite each figure at least once in the main text.

References

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  1. A single hanging indent template can be used to wrap all references - fixed.
  2. For full APA style:
    1. Use correct capitalisation
    2. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
    3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume
  3. If retrieved electronically and there is no DOI, provide the website address.

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Use bullet-points (rather than numbered lists)
    2. Provide more details in brackets after links (examples added)
  2. External links
    1. Provide more details in brackets after links (example added)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:58, 25 September 2019 (UTC)Reply

Example

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Your book chapter is extremely interesting and I can't wait to read it when it is done. It may benefit to put in some examples of pathological liars. I found this one literature review (Thom, Teslyar & Friedman, 2017) which includes the case study of a woman admitting herself into emergency at the hospital. In another case study, an American judge was a pathological liar, who lied to become a judge as well as lying throughout his career as a judge and even during the investigation into his lies (Dike, Baranoski & Griffith, 2005).

References

Dike, C. C., Baranoski, M., & Griffith, E. E. (2005). Pathological lying revisited. Journal of the American Academy of Psychiatry and the Law Online, 33(3), 342-349.

Thom, R., Teslyar, P., & Friedman, R. (2017). Pseudologia fantastica in the emergency department: a case report and review of the literature. Case reports in psychiatry, 2017.


--U3175511 (discusscontribs) 10:29, 10 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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This is a great start and it is looking good, when you first discuss the false self, as a lay reader I did not understand what a false self is. To improve the readability of the page consider adding a brief description of what a false self is. I look forwards to the finished chapter.

--U3172958 (discusscontribs) 11:26, 10 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

References

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I noticed that your doi formatting was not consistent with the most recent guidelines that you can find out about here:https://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.htmlit basically details that all doi's must be in a url format and how to do that. Hope this helps. --U3173738 (discusscontribs) 12:07, 20 October 2019 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hi, I just wanted to make a comment about the polygraphs that I read about in your book chapter. I had read about them being banned in reality tv recently and found it quite interesting that you mentioned that some countries still use them in use them in the justice system while other do not.--U3144248 (discusscontribs) 13:53, 20 October 2019 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this a mediocre chapter.
  2. There are several promising aspects, but the chapter falls below professional standard with regard to the quality of written expression. It seems rushed in preparation - or at least lacks attention to proofreading detail.
  3. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. Some useful theory is considered, particularly in relation to self-presentation and neuropsychology.
  2. Overview - consider adding focus questions.
  3. The Reeve textbook is overused as a citation - instead, utilise primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  1. Some relevant research is reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  3. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
  4. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
  1. Written expression
    1. Use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
    2. Direct quotes are overused. Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words.
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    5. Some sentences are overly long; consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
    6. Some statements could be explained more clearly - see the [improve clarity] tags
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter uses a basic, 2-level structure.
  3. Learning features
    1. Interwiki links are well used.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Good use of images.
    4. Basic use of tables (also add APA style caption).
    5. No use of feature boxes.
    6. No use of quizzes.
    7. No use of case studies.
  4. Grammar
    1. The grammar for several sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Some sentences seemed to be incomplete.
    2. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  5. Spelling
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour; fulfillment vs. fulfilment).
    2. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
  6. Proofreading
    1. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
  7. APA style
    1. Direct quotes need page numbers.
    2. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    3. Citations use correct APA style.
    4. References are not in full APA style. For example:
      1. Check and correct use of capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct use of italicisation.
      3. See new doi format.
  1. 3 logged, useful, social contributions (1 substantial) with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:31, 4 November 2019 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an insufficient presentation.
  2. This presentation consists of some basic, text-based slides and no audio.
  3. The presentation is over the maximum time limit - content beyond 3 mins is ignored for marking purposes.
  1. Very basic content is presented.
  2. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  3. What are the practical take-home message(s) that we can use to help improve our everyday lives?
  1. The presentation provides no audio.
  2. The presentation makes very basic use of text based slides.
  3. The font size should be larger to make it easier to read.
  4. The visual communication could be improved by including some relevant images.
  1. The chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. The chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio recording quality was muted.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  5. A link to the book chapter is provided.
  6. A link from the book chapter is provided.
  7. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 07:39, 18 November 2019 (UTC)Reply

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