Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Hate crime motivation

General editing and comment

Hey, awesome book chapter! Just be aware of the APA in your reference list, and you've currently got two reference lists.--Jackmccann021 (discuss • contribs) 07:05, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Hi there, was interesting to read your book chapter. I've made some general edits under your motivation heading. It seems that it not yet the finished product but I might suggest that rather than using all 8 motivational theories, you can select 1 or 2 that might explain why hate crime occurs. I think then this can be used to explain the theoretical framework of your topic. Also, I would also suggest the May 2017 assault incident be put into a case study box to highlight a real life example of your book chapter. It was under the subheading "Hate Crime in Australia". All the best! --U3054327 (discuss • contribs) 02:07, 17 October 2019 (UTC)

Hey, your book chapter was quite an interesting read. I do have a suggestion for your quizzes. To help them stand out a bit more you may want to colour code them so they stand out a bit more. You can do this either by inserting a template such as 'Robelbox' and then selecting the theme (which is equal to the colour just pick a number), the title, how big you want it to be and then adding in the content which would be the question. I think this addition would help just tie the rest of your chapter together to make sure the important parts stand out. --Briannathefox (discuss • contribs) 00:49, 20 October 2019 (UTC) Below is an example of what they would look like:

Test your knowledge Select your answers and then press submit. There is only one defining factor for hate crime motivation TRUE. FALSE.

Comment

This looks like it will be an interesting topic to read. For interventions I'd suggest a good place to start is government websites particularly those for crime related organisations and found this under the apa that may help https://www.apa.org/advocacy/interpersonal-violence/hate-crimes --Haylzw (discuss • contribs) 05:36, 1 September 2019 (UTC)

Internal links and hanging indent

Hi, I've just edited your "see also" section.

I provided internal links instead of the external links which had lots of words and hyphens. This makes it much clearer for the reader. If you'd like to do internal links throughout your chapter, or add any more, I'll let you know how to do it. If you type a word, say "motivation", all you need to do is highlight that word, then press the link button, and write "W:" then the title of the Wikipidea page. So for motivation, you would write "W:motivation". This creates an internal link to the Motivation Wikipedia page.

For the book chapters, I did a similar thing. If I wanted to internally link from my chapter to yours, I would write "Hate crime motivation". I would then highlight that, press the link button, and copy the text "Motivation and emotion/Book/2019/Hate crime motivation" from the top of your page, and paste that. This can be done with any of the book chapters, and again, makes it clearer for the reader.

I suggest changing your "see also" section, as it says "other book chapters", but also links to Wikipedia pages. Maybe you could just have the book chapters in that section, but when you mention key theories or words in your text (i.e. motivation, hate crime etc.), you could internally link there.

I also noticed that your references aren't in hanging indent format. I wanted to leave this for you to do, so you could learn a new skill. I tried to type the code out for you here, but it kept disappearing when I published my comment! So if you go onto the unit's Canvas discussion forum, and scroll down, you'll see a post titled "Hanging indent in Wikiversity page" which describes it well.

You've done a really good job so far! Hopefully my advice makes sense. Keep up the good work Kaylah-3163515 (discuss • contribs) 07:46, 13 September 2019 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title and sub-title Colon added Capitalisation of the title/sub-title has been corrected to be consistent with the book table of contents Sub-title corrected Authorship details removed - authorship is as per the page's editing history User page Minimal self-description Add link to book chapter Social contribution None summarised with links to evidence Section headings Overly complicated 3-level structure - consider simplifying Remove sub-headings from Overview Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Avoid providing too much background information. Instead, briefly summarise generic concepts and provide internal wiki links to further information. Then the focus of most of the content can be on directly answering the core question(s) posed by the chapter sub-title. Key points Partial development Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Consider introducing a case study in the Overview. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section. Image An image (figure) is presented. Does the image show a hate crime? Cite each figure at least once in the main text. References OK. For full APA style: Use correct italicisation Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume Resources See also Excellent External links None provided

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 06:39, 28 September 2019 (UTC)

Contribution

Hey, Ive just read through your book chapter and it looks great, however, i've noticed that you havent mentioned ways in which we can prevent and intervene hate crimes. After some quick research i found that APA actually discussed a few ways to reduce the prevalence of hate crimes and i've linked it for you if youre interested :) --U3160677 (discuss • contribs) 03:31, 20 October 2019 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:08, 7 November 2019 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via UCLearn Canvas, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a very good chapter that successfully uses psychological theory and research to help address a practical, real-world or problem. This chapter is over the maximum word count e.g., consider reducing the amount of history because this isn't intrinsic to the topic. Overview Useful to have an illustrative example. Consider building on the sub-title by presenting focus questions to help guide the reader and the chapter structure. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits. Theory Theory is well covered and described, with illustrative examples. Excellent to see focus on what can be done about the problem. Less history is needed; provide links instead to further information. Did you consult Allport (1954)? If not, this should be a secondary citation. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. Greater emphasis on major reviews (e.g., grey literature such as government reports?) and/or meta-analyses would be helpful. Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the tags). Written expression Written expression Overall, the chapter is reasonable well written. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Avoid having sections with only one sub-section. For numbered lists, use Wikiversity formatting per Tutorial 1. Learning features Excellent use of interwiki links and embedded links to related book chapters. Embedding interwiki links links to related book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project. Excellent use of images. No use of tables. No use of feature boxes (these would be ideal for some of the examples). Excellent use of quizzes. Excellent use of case studies or examples. Grammar Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's). Use serial commas[1] - it is part of APA style and generally recommended by grammaticists. Check and correct grammatical formatting for abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.). APA style Use APA style for Figure captions - check numbering - some missing? Direct quotes need page numbers. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numerals (e.g., 10). Use APA style to refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text. Citations are not in full APA style. For example: Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. A full stop is needed after "et al". References are not in full APA style. For example: Check and correct use of capitalisation. Check and correct use of italicisation. Check and correct reporting of initials. See new doi format. Social contribution ~6 logged, minor, useful, last 24 hour, social contributions with direct links to evidence

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:08, 7 November 2019 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a good presentation. This presentation makes effective use of simple tools. Structure and content Well selected content - not too much or too little. The presentation is reasonably well structured. Add and narrate an Overview slide (e.g., with focus questions), to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Communication The presentation is easy to follow and interesting to watch and listen to. Move cursor off screen when recording. Address an international (rather than Australian) audience. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio. Well paced. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images. Production quality Communicate the chapter title on the opening slide. Audio recording quality was very good. Video recording quality was excellent. Image copyright status is not provided - copyright may have been violated - if so, delete or fix and re-record. A copyright license for the presentation is provided. A link to the book chapter is provided. A link from the book chapter is provided. A written description of the presentation is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 11:09, 17 November 2019 (UTC)