Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Surfing and well-being

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Feedback on chapter

edit

Hi, I just wanted to shoot you another couple of starter references and thoughts for the intro sections - hope they might be useful. Some references to intro the general benefits of being near water are: The effects of exercising in different natural environments on psych-physiological outcomes in post-menopausal women: a simulation study. White, Pahl, Ashbullby, Burton, & Depledge (2015); Blue space: the importance of water for preferences, affect and restorativeness ratings of natural and built scenes. White, Smith, Humphryes, & Depledge (2010). A reference for the general definition of well-being: Eid and Larsen (2008) The Science of Subjective Well Being. Also there's a previous chapter you could link to that looks at water and emotion: https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Book/2016/Water_and_emotion. Hope this helps. Good luck! Cheers, Dot--Foley.d (discusscontribs) 00:45, 23 August 2018 (UTC)Reply

Hi, if you follow the instructions in the purple box at the top of this page https://en.wikiversity.org/wiki/Motivation_and_emotion/Assessment/Chapter , you can get a template for your book chapter, this should make it a lot easier for you to do your chapter. Cheers, Annie

Hi, I have added a youtube video to your external links section. Also I have listed some links below to surfing images which might be appropriate for your chapter. https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Surfing_in_Hawaii_retouched.jpg https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2010_mavericks_competition_edit1.jpg I look forward to seeing your chapter develop. Thanks--U3154928 (discusscontribs) 10:50, 16 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Hi, Just a reminder to insert a hanging indent for your reference list. There are instructions on the motivation and emotion discussion page; https://uclearn.canberra.edu.au/courses/5330/discussion_topics/35390. Thanks, --U3154928 (discusscontribs) 07:35, 19 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

TED talk video, images, heading suggestion

edit

Hello,

You have a really interesting topic! I found a TED talk that illustrates your chapter really well: https://www.ted.com/talks/chris_burkard_the_joy_of_surfing_in_ice_cold_water#t-556394

In the TED talk, Chris Burkyard talks about his surfing experiences in extreme weather conditions and very remote locations, and how this brought him optimal challenge and joy.

After watching the TED talk and looking at your book chapter, I think you could maybe have a sub-heading for the challenge of surfing, as this TED talk seems to demonstrate that this is what gives Chris most of his joy when surfing. Perhaps you could find some research evidence to back this up.

I also added 'Figure 1' and 'Figure 2' to your images so they correspond with APA 6th edition. Maybe add a little bit more information under figure 2, for example how does the ocean image relate to your book chapter? I also uncapitalised the sub-headings as the format for Wikiversity is to not capitalise the titles.

I hope this helps and goodluck!

--Ju3141393 (discusscontribs) 12:13, 18 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Heading casing

edit
 
FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings (or sentence casing). For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 09:58, 18 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

edit

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

edit
  1. Overall, this is a promising chapter which is let down somewhat by the quality of written expression and lack of citations for some claims.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theories are well selected, described, and explained.
  1. Many statements are subjective and unreferenced (see the [factual?] tags). This chapter is meant to be a summary of what is known based on psychological science (theory and research).
  2. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  3. A critical perspective is evident in some places.
  1. Written expression is untidy.
    1. Use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
    2. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
    3. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    4. The chapter benefited from a well developed Overview and Conclusion.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of one image.
    4. Rename external links so that they are more user friendly.
    5. No use of tables.
    6. Good use of feature boxes.
    7. Very basic use of quizzes.
    8. Excellent use of case studies or examples.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Check and make correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    2. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    3. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    4. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    5. Check and correct use of semi-colons vs. colons.
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions.
    2. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    3. Citations
      1. A serial comma is needed before "&" or "and" for citations involving three or more authors.
      2. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Not all citations are in the reference list.
      2. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

edit
  1. Overall, this is an excellent presentation that makes effective use of simple tools.
  1. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  2. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by some images.
  1. The full chapter title and sub-title are used in the video title - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. The full chapter title and sub-title are used on the opening slide - this helps to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  5. Add acknowledgement of image sources used to create presentation.
  6. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:05, 18 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

Return to "Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Surfing and well-being" page.