Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Passion and motivation

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Very good

User page

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  1. Very good

Social contribution

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  1. Link doesn't go directly to evidence of contribution
  2. See suggestions for how to record social contributions

Section headings

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  1. Clear, simple, focused, 2-level heading structure
  2. What is motivation and what is passion can probably be dropped/merged into the Overview or a subsequent section (i.e., they probably don't warrant top-level headings). Provide brief descriptions, then link to Wikiversity/Wikipedia resources that contain more info about those stand-alone topics. That way the structure can concentrate more directly on the focus of the chapter.

Key points

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  1. Overall, a well developed plan
  2. Suggestion: Check out Angela Duckworth's work on "grit" which she conceives of as consisting of two factors, one of which is "interest" which is pretty much "passion".

Image

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  1. OK
  2. Use figure caption to explain how it relates to one or more key points in the text

References

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  1. Good
  2. Use APA style
  3. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html
  4. Decide which type of referencing system you are going to use - currently there are two different systems in use in the chapter - traditional APA style and wiki links (with those links appearing in External links)

Resources

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  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 03:52, 1 October 2018 (UTC)Reply

Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this chapter provides a good coverage of relevant theory and research, but is undermined by the poor quality of written expression.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. Relevant theories are reasonably well selected.
  2. Clearly descriptions of theories could be provided.
  3. More examples could be used.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression
    1. Embed quotes within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dump them stand-alone. Even better, express concepts in your own words.
    2. Some sentences are overly long; consider splitting them into shorter, separate sentences.
    3. Some statements could be explained more clearly - see the [explain?] tags
    4. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
  2. Layout
    1. The chapter is well structured, with major sections using sub-sections.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Basic use of images.
    3. No use of tables.
    4. No use of feature boxes.
    5. No use of quizzes.
    6. No use of case studies or examples.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. The grammar for many sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags). Professional assistance is recommended.
    2. Check and make correct use of commas (e.g., use serial commas).
    3. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    4. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    5. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
    6. Check and make correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
  5. APA style
    1. Refer to each Table and each Figure at least once within the main text.
    2. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    3. Citations
      1. A full stop is needed after "et al".
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and make correct use of capitalisation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:06, 28 November 2018 (UTC)Reply


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a reasonable presentation.
  1. Appropriate content selection, however it would be helpful to be more selective because the presentation is a bit too fast and runs over time.
  2. The presentation is well structured (Title, Overview, Body, Conclusion).
  3. Consider adding and narrating an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  1. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  2. Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  3. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.
  4. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. The presentation is over the maximum time limit.
  2. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  3. Video recording quality was excellent.
  4. Audio recording quality was quiet and has white noise/distortion - review microphone set up.
  5. Images sources are acknowledged.
  6. A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
  7. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:15, 28 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

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