Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Mindfulness and performance lifting

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:15, 1 October 2018 (UTC)Reply


Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. OK
  2. Sub-title has been corrected to match the book table of contents

User page

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  1. OK - maybe tidy-up test edits

Social contribution

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  1. Good

Section headings

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  1. Reasonably well developed
  2. Perhaps consider a section about mindfulness and lifting (before diving into meditation etc.)- e.g., consider what are the psychological predictors of good performance and what sorts of mindfulness techniques may be able to support. Perhaps also consider how this is similar to and different from other sports in which mindfulness practices are used.
  3. Some template content needs adaptation or removal

Key points

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  1. Use Australian spelling e.g., visualization -> visualisation
  2. Consider using one or more case studies and/or practical exercises for the reader to try
  3. Some sections don't yet have any planned content
  4. Concusion is under-developed - this is the most important section

Image

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  1. Good to see a detailed figure caption - have tweaked it to APA style.

References

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  1. Use APA style and put in alphabetical order by first author
  2. For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html

Resources

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  1. Minimal - 1 see also link to another book chapter (also consider adding links to related Wikipedia articles) and 0 external links

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 00:15, 1 October 2018 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an very good chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
  1. Especially in the early parts, this chapter seems to be more about visualisation than mindfulness. Whilst the concepts are related, check and correct the focus. Mindfulness seems to be assumed without really being explained.
  2. Relevant theories are well selected, described, explained, and applied to power lifting.
  1. Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory.
  2. Good detail about individual studies is provided.
  1. Written expression is OK, but somewhat untidy in places.
    1. Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
    2. Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
    3. Some of the bullet-points should have been in full paragraph format.
    4. Consider adding focus questions to the Overview.
  2. Layout
    1. See earlier comments about heading casing.
    2. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
  3. Learning features
    1. Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
    3. Basic use of images.
    4. No use of tables.
    5. No use of feature boxes.
    6. Basic use of quizzes.
    7. No use of case studies.
  4. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
    2. Check and make correct use of commas.
    3. Check and remove unnecessary capitalisation.
  5. APA style
    1. Use APA style for Figure captions.
    2. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    3. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10).
    4. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and make correct use of capitalisation.
      2. See new doi format.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is an good presentation that makes effective use of simple tools.
  1. Check and correct spelling errors.
  2. Well selected and structured content - not too much or too little.
  3. Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
  4. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
  1. The presentation is easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
  3. Well paced. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
  4. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.
  5. The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Audio recording volume is variable - review microphone set up.
  4. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided.
  5. Add acknowledgement of image sources and software used to create presentation - copyright may have been violated  .
  6. A link to the book chapter is not provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:56, 18 November 2018 (UTC)Reply

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