Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Using questions is a good way to frame the top-level, main body headings
Avoid having sections with only one subsection - either have no subsections or two or more subsections
The most important section (besides the Overview and Conclusion) is "How do endorphins affect motivation?". The preceding sections, to the extent that they are generic (e.g., about endorphins, not endorphins and motivation), they keep them brief, with links to more info on dedicated Wikiversity/Wikipedia pages. That will allow the bulk of this chapter to concentrating on its core topic.
Although the chapter is about E and motivation, presumably part of the answer is the effect of E on emotion, with emotion contributing to motivation. So maybe tease this out and embed link to endorphins and emotion (Book chapter, 2015) for more detail.
Conclusion - develop the take-home messages - questions may be better suited to the Overview (e.g., focus questions)
I think this page is going to be so interesting. I think that it will be very important to use a lot of hyperlinks and pictures to describe neurological jargon. Remeber that part of the criteria for the assignment is for it to be read by an educated lay person who may not understand a lot of neruoscience. I think this chapter is going to be great TaylorMal (discuss • contribs) 23:52, 17 October 2018 (UTC)Reply
Latest comment: 5 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a basic chapter. It is somewhat vague and speculative about the role of endorphins and motivation and lacks integration with other related book chapters.
The example in the Overview seems to be better illustrate the value of training than of the motivational role of endorphins. Confusing. Clarify.
The rest of Overview sounds speculative, rather than based on synthesis of relevant theory and research.
For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
Overall, there is too much general theoretical material (e.g., about endorphins and motivation as separate constructs). Instead, summarise and link to further information, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic (i.e., the sub-title question).
Overall, this chapter provides a basic overview of relevant research.
When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.
Some statements are unreferenced (e.g., see the [factual?] tags).
Use third person perspective, rather than first person (e.g., "we") or second person (e.g., "you") perspective.
Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
Direct quotes should be embedded within sentences and paragraphs, rather than dumped holus-bolus. Even better, communicate the concept in your own words.
Layout
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Learning features
Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
Embedding interwiki links links to other book chapters would help to integrate this chapter into the broader book project.
Latest comment: 5 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
The presentation makes effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio.
Well paced. Excellent pauses between sentences. This helps the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided.
The visual communication is effectively supplemented by images.
Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
Images sources and their copyright is not acknowledged - copyright may have been violated.
A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
A link to the book chapter is not provided.
A very basic written description of the presentation is provided.
