Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
The topic sub-title suggests a potential three top-level heading structure - perhaps consider using it to help organise the chapter, and then perhaps the existing heading structure can be reorganised within those three broad questions
Hi, I have added an internal wiki link for you under self-determination theory. I found the link had helpful information on the theory as well as adding links to your book chapter.--GabiK (discuss • contribs) 03:13, 23 September 2018 (UTC)Reply
hi there! i think your chapter is really interesting however i feel as though some images could really enhance this book chapter! your theories and content is really interesting so it just may make it more visually appealing to have some pictures for the reader. Joog 17 (discuss • contribs) 1:30, 21 October 2018 (UTC)
Hi, content wise you've done well on the aspects of this chapter that you've completed. I agree with Joog that pictures would improve the visual appeal of the page. I also think that adding other interactive features like quizzes, boxes and hyperlinks would benefit the page. Good luck. - U3144461 16:33, 21st October 2018.
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this provides reasonable coverage of relevant theory and research, but seems to struggle to express the content in a way that embraces the possibilities of this online, interactive, self-help book project.
For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits.
The main concept is well explained, however there is less info about how it can be managed.
More examples would be helpful.
More tips and take-home messaged would be helpful.
This chapter seems to make out some people are depleted and some aren't (a dispositional view) rather than explaining that everyone gets ego-depleted and that their performance is negatively in this state (i.e., state vs. trait). This is an important, if subtle, distinction.
Relevant research is described. To improve, present a synthesis of findings, rather than summaries of individual studies.
When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
This is a somewhat long, tediously written chapter.
Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences.
The chapter could benefit from a better developed Overview and Conclusion, with clear focus question(s) and take-home messages.
Paying more attention to earlier comments could have helped to improve the chapter.
Avoid starting sentences with a citation unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, it is more interesting for the the content/key point to be communicated, with the citation included along the way or, more typically, in brackets at the end of the sentence.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Consider adding focus questions to the Overview.
Learning features
No notable use of any additional learning features.
Adding interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
No use of images.
No use of tables.
No use of quizzes.
No use of case studies or examples.
Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
Check and correct use of commas (need to be used more often).
The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Overall, too much detailed content, too fast - be more selective. Focus more on addressing the focus questions (in the sub-title - e.g., one third of the presentation on each question). For a brief presentation, focus on the big picture and do that well rather than racing through too much detail.
Add and narrate a Title slide, to help the viewer understanding the focus and goal of the presentation.
Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered.
The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages.
Basic, text-based and narrated audio presentation.
Consider slowing down and leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point.
Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
Audio recording quality is poor.
Images sources are not acknowledged.
A copyright license for the presentation is provided.
