Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2018/Bereavement and emotion

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:38, 30 September 2018 (UTC)

Topic development feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing the chapter plan. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks are available via UCLearn. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC User page Very good Social contribution Promising Links don't go directly to evidence of contribution See suggestions for how to record social contributions Section headings OK The sub-title suggests a strong 2-section structure: "What emotions are involved in bereavement and how can they be managed?" that could be used as more of a framework Perhaps rename "Emotion" section to something like "Bereavement emotions" (i.e., provide less generic content and more focused content) Avoid having sections with only one subsection - either have no subsections or two or more subsections Wondering why grief has its own high-level section, when arguably it is just one of the bereavement emotions (the proposed content could be covered within the first grief sub-heading?) Key points Overview Excellent focus questions Consider include a case study or examples Main body Excellent development of ideas Could benefit from some consolidation (see comments on section headings) Conclusion Well developed Image Excellent References Good Use APA style For latest APA style recommended format for dois see http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2017/03/doi-display-guidelines-update-march-2017.html Resources See also Use internal links Also provide links to related Wikiversity book chapters External links Include info about source/destination in brackets after the hyperlink - see example

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:38, 30 September 2018 (UTC)

Suggestions for overview + potential resources

Hello :)

Your topic development is very interesting and i've enjoyed it so far! For your overview, I liked the focus questions which brought my focus directly onto the essential questions regarding Bereavement, i was wondering if it would be worth having a section sepcifically covering the focus question "What is Bereavement" and its definition? Providing an outline of the structure of the chapter in the overview would also help the reader know what is covered in the chapter.

I found two articles that you may also find useful https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1002/j.2051-5545.2009.tb00217.x - Grief and Bereavement: What psychiatrists need to know http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.2190/OM.61.4.b - The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement: A Decade On

I hope you find these articles helpful!!

u3144311 - 11:10am, 10th October 2018 (UTC)

Book chapter suggestion

Hi thereǃ Overall, i find your book chapter very interesting and informative. My only critique or suggestion is to maybe add bullet points under the emotional management technique and counselling section to make it flow a little betterǃ

--Hibbajaved (discuss • contribs) 11:37, 21 October 2018 (UTC)

Social contribution review and feedback

The social contributions listed on your user page have been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below. Marks will be available later via UCLearn, along with book chapter marks. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Feedback 1 minor logged social contribution

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:37, 16 November 2018 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a solid chapter. Overview and Conclusion - need expansion - these are the most important sections. For additional feedback, see comments below and these copyedits. Theory Theory is reasonably well covered, although it is unclear which emotions are covered and why. The section about anger and aggression seems to come out of nowhere (not mentioned earlier). Revise chapter to be more integrated. Why focus on this emotion but not other core emotions? Justify. Research Relevant research is well reviewed and discussed in relation to theory. When describing important research findings, consider including a bit more detail about the methodology and indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Written expression Written expression The chapter would benefit from a more developed Overview and Conclusion Some paragraphs are overly long. Each paragraph should communicate one key idea in three to five sentences. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing. The chapter is reasonably well structured, with major sections using sub-sections. Learning features Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive. Use in-text interwiki links, rather than external links. Very good use of feature boxes. Basic use of images (some of them could be made larger). No use of tables. Very good use of quizzes. Interesting use of research and individual case studies. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading. Use serial commas. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's). Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the tags). The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the tags). Check and correct use of commas. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect. APA style Direct quotes need page numbers. References are not in full APA style e.g., Check and correct page numbers. Use full journal titles.

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Canvas site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation. Structure and content What about other core emotions, besides anger? Probably too much detail and too little big picture - provide a stronger Overview and then Conclusion with take-home messages for "What emotions are involved in bereavement and how can they be managed?" Add and narrate an Overview slide, to help orientate the viewer about what will be covered. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Communication The presentation makes reasonably effective use of text and image based slides with narrated audio, but has "pro" watermarks - either pay for pro to remove these or just use the free version. Reasonably well paced. The font size is sufficiently large to make it easy to read in the time provided - except for the final slide. Production quality Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Consider muting the music during narration to help the viewer concentrate on the combination of visual information and narrated audio. A copyright license for the presentation is not provided. Consider publishing to youtube. A link to and from the book chapter is provided.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 23:13, 17 November 2018 (UTC)