Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Temptations

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:51, 17 October 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Hi there U3111270. I like your page, it's quite engaging from the start, though I found that it was fairly heavy on the religious themes. Although very interesting, I would suggest maybe looking at the article, http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886914005339, which talks about self control and resistance against temptation, to look at the psychological aspects. Good luck
RainbowUnicorn97 (discuss • contribs) 18:10, 18 September 2017 (UTC)

Author Response

Hey RainbowUnicorn97, I think you must have looked at my page before I had saved a massive edit I did on it! Im really interested to know why you think I have too much focus on religious themes? I mention Adam and Eve because I wanted to show the audience an example and to maybe help disregard temptation as an inclination to sin and ensure that it is seen as a psychological process. It was just a starting point for my chapter as I had no idea where to start! But that is the only mention I make to religion? Anyway! it is great to have your feedback and I have already looked at that article and at first I didnt really use anything from it, as it was repeating alot of information I already had but going back to it when you posted I have gotten a bit more from it, so thanks! U3111270 (discuss • contribs) 09:50, 20 October 2017 (UTC)

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC Title added, otherwise good User page Created Used effectively Social contribution One summarised with indirect link to evidence The best links go to direct evidence of the contributions made. View the page history, select the version of the page before and after your contributions, click "compare selected revisions", and then use this website address as a direct link to evidence for listing on your user page. For more info, see the book chapter author guidelines. Section headings Basic, 2-level heading structure - dould benefit from further development Limited coverage of theory Managing temptations is a good, applied section heading A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section. Key points Key points are well developed for each section, with relevant citations. Consider including marshmallow experiment by Walter Michel and related literature on self-control Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Consider including more examples/case studies. Consider embedding one quiz question per major section rather than having one longer quiz towards the end. Image One image embedded Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text References Good. For full APA style: Use correct italicisation Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Resources See also Excellent Also link to past relevant chapters External links Excellent Use bullet-points

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 12:51, 17 October 2017 (UTC)

Feedback

Hi, interesting page! I know you'll probably pick it up later, but just in case, Jane wants to LOSE weight, rather than "loose". cheers! Linda --U100155 (discuss • contribs) 01:56, 21 October 2017 (UTC)

Author response

Hey Linda, hahahaha! thanks for the pickup! Didnt even notice, I guess when you're the writer you tend to skim it all ;) U3111270 (discuss • contribs) 00:57, 22 October 2017 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a reasonably good chapter that is undermined by poor spelling, grammar, and a lack of sufficient proofreading. The chapter was over the maximum word count - a stronger chapter would be less wordy. For additional feedback, see these copyedits. Theory Theories were well described and explained. Some useful examples are used. Research Several useful, relevant research studies are considered. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Some statements were unreferenced - see the tags Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses could be helpful. Written expression The quality of written expression is problematic throughout. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses. Avoid directional referencing e.g., "As previously mentioned" Learning features Adding interwiki links would make the text more interactive. Spelling, grammar and proofreading The grammar for some sentences could be improved - see the tags. For example, questions marks were missing at the end of paragraphs one and three and several other places. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's Check and correct use of affect vs. effect APA style Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10) Citations In-text citations should be in alphabetical order References are not in full APA style e.g., Check and correct capitalisation

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a simple, but well prepared and executed presentation. Structure and content Add an Overview slide. Include citations. Well selected and structured content, although perhaps too much content is covered. The presentation could be strengthened by adding a Conclusion slide with practical, take-home messages. Communication Present using Prezi full-screen mode (presenter view). Well narrated. Consider leaving longer pauses between sentences. This can help the viewer to cognitively digest the information that has just been presented before moving on to the next point. Consider using images. Production quality Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording quality was a bit quiet - review microphone set up. Image sources and software used to create presentation.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:11, 28 November 2017 (UTC)