Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Synthetic happiness

Comments

Hello Patrick,

With your content, I feel as though you should define happiness as well as synthetic happiness. It will help to show that you have a broader knowledge of the subject. U3161650 (discuss • contribs) 11:49, 3 September 2017 (UTC) u3161650

limitations section, also headings!

Hi,

Have you considered having a section on limitations of current research, questions that still need to be answered and/or suggestions for further research?

Also remember that headings on Wikiversity should start with a capital, then be lower case

E.g.

            Happiness and synthetic happiness

Happy writing! o EmmAnder18 -U3133718 (discuss • contribs) 02:59, 10 October 2017 (UTC)

Heading casing

FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use: ==Cats and dogs== rather than ==Cats and Dogs== -- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:58, 16 October 2017 (UTC)

Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

Title, sub-title, TOC Excellent User page Created Used effectively Social contribution None summarised with links to evidence Section headings Well labelled sections Reasonably good structure outlined Maybe address the differences between synthetic and natural happiness earlier on, when first describing SH? Many or even all of the sub-sections in "Manufacture of Synthetic Happiness" could potentially become top-level headings A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section. Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Key points Basic key points provided for each proposed section Include in-text interwiki links for the first mention of key terms to relevant Wikipedia articles. Consider including more examples/case studies Image One image embedded Consider increasing image size from default Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text References OK. Main references should be primary, peer-reviewed academic sources For full APA style: Include author Use correct capitalisation Include volume number Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html Resources Excellent Also link to past relevant chapters

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 05:58, 16 October 2017 (UTC)

Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

Overall Overall, this is a basic, but effective presentation. Structure and content Consider adding more examples. Include citations for the references. What are the practical, take-home messages that can be applied to everyday life? Communication Well scripted and narrated. Basic, text-based visuals. Production quality Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation. Audio recording was very quiet - review microphone set up. Limited use of visual aids. Acknowledge source of image.

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 02:56, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

Chapter review and feedback

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

Overall Overall, this is a brief chapter that adequately describes the theoretical notion of SH, but has limited coverage of relevant research, and makes limited use of examples and interactive features of the wiki environment. For additional feedback, see these copyedits. Theory Basic theory is well described and a critical perspective is evident. The distinction between natural and synthetic happiness would probably be more helpful earlier if placed earlier in the chapter. Consider using more examples to help explain theoretical concepts. Provide stronger linkage between SH and theoretically related concepts such as choice-supportive bias (Wikipedia) Research Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful. Some statements were unreferenced - see the tags Written expression Written expression Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences. Layout See earlier comments about heading casing Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings. Learning features Adding interwiki links would make the text more interactive. Minimal use of images. No use of tables. Basic use of quizzes. No use of case studies. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading Check and make correct use of commas (i.e., commas were underutilised). Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's Check and correct overcapitalisation. Use Australian spelling - e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the tags. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - e.g., see the tags. APA style Use APA style for Figure captions Provide more detailed Figure captions to better connect images to the text. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10) References are not in full APA style e.g., Check and correct capitalisation Check and correct citation of online resources See new doi format Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.