Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hello Patrick,
With your content, I feel as though you should define happiness as well as synthetic happiness. It will help to show that you have a broader knowledge of the subject. U3161650 (discuss • contribs) 11:49, 3 September 2017 (UTC) u3161650Reply
Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
Hi,
Have you considered having a section on limitations of current research, questions that still need to be answered and/or suggestions for further research?
Also remember that headings on Wikiversity should start with a capital, then be lower case
Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.
Maybe address the differences between synthetic and natural happiness earlier on, when first describing SH?
Many or even all of the sub-sections in "Manufacture of Synthetic Happiness" could potentially become top-level headings
A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an overview paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Latest comment: 6 years ago1 comment1 person in discussion
The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.
Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
Audio recording was very quiet - review microphone set up.
This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.
Overall, this is a brief chapter that adequately describes the theoretical notion of SH, but has limited coverage of relevant research, and makes limited use of examples and interactive features of the wiki environment.
Sections which include sub-sections should also include an introductory paragraph (which doesn't need a separate heading) before branching into the sub-headings.
Learning features
Adding interwiki links would make the text more interactive.
Minimal use of images.
No use of tables.
Basic use of quizzes.
No use of case studies.
Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
Check and make correct use of commas (i.e., commas were underutilised).
Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
Check and correct overcapitalisation.
Use Australian spelling - e.g., hypothesize -> hypothesise
Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
The grammar for some sentences could be improved - e.g., see the [grammar?] tags.
APA style
Use APA style for Figure captions
Provide more detailed Figure captions to better connect images to the text.
Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)