Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Serotonin and motivation

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments

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Hi, great job with this topic on serotonin. I have a couple of websites that may be usefull for you. anxiety https://www.nutreance.com/articles/redicalm?utm_medium=google_display&utm_campaign=redicalm_au_content&utm_source=www.medicinenet.com&utm_term=reduce%20stress&gclid=COuoxvaB1tUCFUiAvQodFnwOrw

Serotonin http://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/serotonin#functions2 http://www.healthline.com/health/irritable-bowel-syndrome/serotonin-effects#overview1 https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2077351/ https://www.integrativepsychiatry.net/serotonin.html https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2017/07/the-link-between-sids-and-serotonin/532491/ https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150617115327.htm http://mentalhealthdaily.com/2015/04/04/high-serotonin-levels-symptoms-adverse-reactions/ cheers piscesau u3032386--Piscesau (discusscontribs) 09:43, 3 September 2017 (UTC)Reply

Reply: Thanks for the websites, the extra information is appreciated. u3141330 (User: U3141330} 22:20 3rd September 2017G(discuss)contribs)

Heading casing

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FYI, the convention on Wikiversity is for lower-cased headings. For example, use:

==Cats and dogs==

rather than

==Cats and Dogs==

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 14 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC

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  1. Great

User page

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  1. Created
  2. Used effectively

Social contribution

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  1. Add numbered list (done)
  2. OK summaries - could be more explicit
  3. OK links - but could be more direct e.g. see guidelines - for a direct link, view the past history, compare the version before and after your contribution and use this link as direct evidence

Section headings

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  1. Headings levels adjust to same level
  2. See earlier comment about casing
  3. Generic section headings are used - consider making them more specific to the topic
  4. Consider integrating discussion of theory and research (as opposed to having separate sections for theory and research)
  5. Consider including more examples
  6. A section should contain either 0 or 2+ sub-sections - avoid having sections which contain 1 sub-section.

Key points

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  1. Avoid getting too distracted by emotion - provide wiki links to more info about the connection between serotonin and emotion - focus on the relationship between serotonin and motivation (although it may be that serotonin -> emotion -> motivation)
  2. One of the tricks with motivation is "motivation for what?" (this is just a general point - that "motivation" per se doesn't exist - there can only be motivation towards X or Y etc.
  3. Consider developing some focus questions (or sub-questions) in the Overview
  4. Avoid providing too much generic information about motivation - provide a brief summary with links to further info. Instead, focus on the relationship between serotonin and motivation.
  5. May be of interest:
    1. http://neurosciencenews.com/serotonin-motivation-6112/
    2. http://www.psypost.org/2017/01/increased-serotonin-ramp-motivation-lowering-perceived-cost-putting-effort-46826
    3. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/1752861

Image

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  1. Two images provided
  2. Consider increasing image size to make them easier to read

References

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  1. Reasonably good
  2. Check and correct capitalisation
  3. Use the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html
  4. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within a volume

Resources

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  1. See also
    1. Add bullet points (done)
    2. Rename the links (example provided)
  2. External links
    1. Add bullet points (done)

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 10:24, 14 October 2017 (UTC)Reply

Feedback

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Hey there! I had a read of your chapter, and it is very interesting! If you are still interesting in the topic, I would recommend looking in to LSD. Another student has a page on LSD and Emotion After reading through both of your chapters, its amazing how much it relates! Basically, LSD mimics effects of serotonin, and you can see in an LSD molecule - its basically a serotonin molecule with some extra bits. Its an interesting read.

Demibree (discusscontribs) 23:27, 18 November 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback

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This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.
  1. The chapter could be strengthened by providing more coverage of the biochemistry of serotonin and its neurological effects.
  2. Instead the chapter draws a long bow by trying to connect two somewhat outdated theories (drive theory and Maslow's hierarchy of needs) with serotonin. This is a stretch because there isn't much supporting evidence.
  3. Did you directly consult Maslow (1943)? If not, this should be a secondary citation.
  4. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is not well supported by empirical evidence - so why emphasise it so much?
  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  2. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid directional referencing (e.g., "As previously mentioned").
    2. e.g. and i.e. should only be used inside parentheses and should be followed by commas.
    3. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    4. In general, avoid starting sentences with an author name, unless the author is particularly pertinent. Instead, what is of far more interest to the reader, is the content/key point, with the citation included in brackets at the end of the sentence.
  2. Learning features
    1. Adding more interwiki links for the first mention of key words would make the text more interactive.
    2. Little use of See also to provide links to other relevant book chapters.
    3. Good use of images.
    4. No use of tables.
    5. Basic use of quizzes. Some of quiz questions are not covered in the chapter.
    6. Basic use of case studies.
  3. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading.
    1. Spelling can be improved (e.g., see the [spelling?] tags).
    2. The grammar for some sentences could be improved (e.g., see the [grammar?] tags).
    3. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect.
    4. More proofreading is needed to fix typos and bring the quality of written expression closer to a professional standard.
    5. Check and correct use of commas - basically, they should be used more often.
    6. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes (e.g., individuals vs. individual's).
    7. Use Australian spelling (e.g., hypothesize vs. hypothesise; behavior vs. behaviour).
    8. Abbreviations such as "e.g." and "etc." should only be used inside parentheses.
  4. APA style
    1. Provide more detailed Figure captions to help connect the figure to the text.
    2. Citations
      1. Use ampersand (&) inside brackets and "and" outside brackets.
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct capitalisation.
      2. Check and correct italicisation.
      3. Do not include issue numbers for journals which are continuously numbered within volumes.


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall

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  1. Overall, this is a basic presentation.
  1. Many of the comments about the book chapter also apply to this section - basically general content about serotonin and motivation as separate concepts is presented, but there is a lack of specific focus on theory and research about how serotonin affects motivation (that is the assigned topic).
  2. Direction of effects are not described  .
  3. The presentation is well structured.
  4. Excellent Conclusion and take-home messages.
  1. The presentation is fun, easy to follow, and interesting to watch and listen to.
  2. The presentation makes effective use of narrated text and image based slides with narrated audio.

4=

  1. Use the full chapter title and sub-title on the opening slide and in the name of the video because this helps to match the book chapter and to clearly convey the purpose of the presentation.
  2. Audio and video recording quality was excellent.
  3. Minimal use of meta-data (e.g., no link is provided back to the book chapter).

No comment

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 22:07, 5 December 2017 (UTC)Reply

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