Talk:Motivation and emotion/Book/2017/Positive thinking as a cause of emotional problems

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Jtneill in topic Multimedia feedback

Comments edit

Hi, I really like the picture you have used in your overview section, however I am finding the key hard to read. I have found an article on Wikiversity on media, under images the article discusses how to reduce the size of images, I have attached the link to this article to this post. By following the instructions to reduce the size of image but using larger numbers, you can increase the size of this image, making the key readable. Good luck with your book chapter. Link to Wikiveristy page on media help

--U3143144 (discusscontribs) 00:30, 19 September 2017 (UTC)Reply


Topic development review and feedback

The topic development has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Topic development marks will be available later via Moodle. Keep an eye on Announcements. Note that marks are based on what was available before the due date, whereas the comments may also be based on all material available at time of providing this feedback.

 

Title, sub-title, TOC edit

  1. Excellent

User page edit

  1. Not created

Social contribution edit

  1. None logged

Section headings edit

  1. Basic, 1-level heading structure - consider expanding into 2-level structure for the most important sections
  2. Use a question mark for questions
  3. The section headings are descriptive and focused on the main purpose of the chapter
  4. The common, generic headings included - good

Key points edit

  1. Good focus on theory and some promising focus on research evidence
  2. Maybe consider pros and cons of positive thinking - e.g., consider contrasting with the body of evidence and argument about "positive illusions" (e.g., Taylor) which suggests that some positive illusion is psychologically health.
  3. Maybe also consider the Derek Sivers TED talk about not telling people your goals - because this can create a satisfaction that you've already achieved them and thereby reduce motivation
  4. Consider adding case studies/examples to help make the topic more engaging

Image edit

  1. Image included
  2. Consider increasing image size from default
  3. Consider enhancing figure captions to help connect the image more strongly to key points being made in the text

References edit

  1. Excellent
  2. Also consider using the new recommended format for dois - http://blog.apastyle.org/apastyle/2014/07/how-to-use-the-new-doi-format-in-apa-style.html

Resources edit

  1. Excellent

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 21:59, 15 October 2017 (UTC)Reply


Chapter review and feedback edit

This chapter has been reviewed according to the marking criteria. Written feedback is provided below, plus there is a general feedback page. Please also check the chapter's page history to check for editing changes made whilst reviewing through the chapter. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below and/or contacting the reviewer. Chapter marks will be available later via Moodle, along with social contribution marks and feedback. Keep an eye on Announcements.

 

Overall edit

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient chapter.
  2. For additional feedback, see these copyedits.

Theory edit

  1. Brief, basic Overview. Perhaps consider describing key terms, providing a scenario, and/or offering focus questions.
  2. Conclusion provides a basic summary. Could be improved by providing more practical, take-away messages.
  3. The Reeve (2015) textbook is overused as a citation - instead, utilise primary, peer-reviewed sources.
  4. This chapter makes the common mistake of providing too much general background theoretical material about emotion and doesn't focus specifically enough, early enough on the target topic. Instead, summarise and link to further information about general background topics, to allow this chapter to focus on the specific topic. The start of the chapter, in terms of content that addresses the topic is the section "How can positive thinking lead to emotional problems?".
  5. Basic coverage is provided of how PP might be problematic for emotional well-being.

Research edit

  1. Basic but sufficient coverage of research involving the relation between the target constructs is provided.
  2. Some statements were unreferenced - see the [factual?] tags
  3. When describing important research findings, indicate the size of effects in addition to whether or not there was an effect or relationship.
  4. Greater emphasis on major reviews and meta-analyses would be helpful.

Written expression edit

  1. Written expression
    1. Avoid one sentence paragraphs. A paragraph should typically consist of three to five sentences.
    2. Abbreviations (such as e.g., i.e.., etc.) should only be used inside parentheses.
  2. Learning features
    1. Consider connecting and integrating this chapter with related chapters such as about the psychological benefits of sadness and other aversive emotions.
    2. Interwiki links are well used.
    3. Basic use of images. The images didn't seem to match or add much in terms of answer to the question.
    4. No use of tables.
    5. Basic use of quizzes.
    6. Basic use of case studies/examples.
  3. Spelling, grammar, and proofreading
    1. Check and correct use of affect vs. effect
    2. Check and correct use of that vs. who
    3. a intrinsic -> an intrinsic
    4. Check and correct use of ownership apostrophes e.g., individuals -> individual's
    5. Spelling can be improved - e.g., see the [spelling?] tags.
    6. The grammar for some sentences could be improved - e.g., see the [grammar?] tags.
  4. APA style
    1. Numbers under 10 should be written in words (e.g., five); numbers 10 and over should be written in numbers (e.g., 10)
    2. Citations
      1. A comma is needed before "&" for citations involving three or more authors
    3. References are not in full APA style e.g.,
      1. Check and correct italicisation of journal numbers


Multimedia feedback

The accompanying multimedia presentation has been marked according to the marking criteria. Marks are available via the unit's Moodle site. Written feedback is provided below, plus see the general feedback page. Responses to this feedback can be made by starting a new section below. If you would like further clarification about the marking or feedback, contact the unit convener.

 

Overall edit

  1. Overall, this is a basic, but sufficient presentation.

Structure and content edit

  1. The presentation is a fair reflection of the key points from the chapter.
  2. Be more selective about what to cover - the presentation audio went fast, so probably covered too much content, yet had more time if needed.
  3. Perhaps include more examples?
  4. Add/mention key citations e.g., Taylor?
  5. Conclusion about balance was reasonably good

Communication edit

  1. Audio narration was slightly too fast - be more selective about what to cover
  2. Basic animation, with not too much text

Production quality edit

  1. Use the book chapter title and subtitle on the first slide and in the meta-data
  2. Mute music whilst narrating (makes it easy to listen to and understand)
  3. No link to the chapter provided  

-- Jtneill - Talk - c 20:56, 24 November 2017 (UTC)Reply

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